Family cant afford Christmas

SingleSue

EmeraldEye wrote: »

It wasn't actually established whether the family in question asked for the sum of £500 or if the OP's wife decided on that figure herself.

Nevertheless, I always roll my eyes when I hear/read people say things like "Love is enough for a child at Christmas", that could well be true if said child(ren) has lived their entire life in a bubble with no interaction with other children or seeing commercial advertising etc.

Most children love the idea of Santa (I'm a grown woman and I love the magic of Christmas) and my heart would break if I personally knew of any youngster who wasn't going to receive at least a handful of decent gifts on Christmas morning.

I'm from a working class background (and proud to be) and day to day life was financially difficult when I was growing up, my parents worked full time but there were times when it was a struggle and it wasn't always possible to save money when we couldn't afford to live.

The OP could easily visit The Works for £20 worth of books, Poundland for £10 worth of stocking filler bits, B&M for a fiver of novelty chocolate, The Entertainer for at least two good gifts for each child and Iceland for £25 worth of festive food - All in roughly £120.

£120 that he acknowledges he has to spare, £120 to know you've done a kind thing for others, £120 to prevent the possibility of children from a family in your area waking up on Christmas morning with nothing from Santa.

There are few joyous occasions in life and far too many disappointments, a lesson I am sure we have all learned many times so why any adult would knowingly inflict upset on a child just to spite the parents is beyond me.

£120 is nothing to someone like the OP (from what he has said at least) but it could be everything to the CHILDREN in this situation. I wouldn't want that on my conscience, to not help and later learn that the children didn't get anything.

If I had £120 to give myself I would contact the OP for the details of this family and I wouldn't care if it all turned out to be a fantasy tale because I'd rather risk losing money over a lie than learn of the tears of a child just because I was too caught up in bitterness to care.

The arrogance and judgemental remarks of some of the posters on this thread is stomach churning, people are very petty.

I was one of those who said that love is more important but even with that comment, I had already said I would be taking a trip to Iceland for the elements of a Christmas dinner and Poundland for pressies for the children just so they had something on the day.

I could never knowingly see a child without a present on Christmas day, I wouldn't care how irresponsible the parents are, I would make sure the children had something to open....I just wouldn't give cash to the parents.

Lunar_Eclipse

Poor_Single_lady wrote: »

But if you haven't gone without money then you're not in a position to judge whether love is enough.

If your kids have plenty you are very lucky. Poor kids know they are poor and I imagine that rich kids know they are rich. Not being one I can't judge.

Imagine children going to school knowing that they are poor. Then on Christmas morning no presents. Then they go to school and everyone is talking about what they got.
Imagine being a parent and not being able to provide. Imagine how gut wrenching that would be.

It must be lovely to have so much but please understand choosing not to spoil your children is completely separate from being in a position where your kids have very little and you can not afford to provide them with basic Christmas gifts.

I am well aware how fortunate I am and realise there is a huge difference between having and not having a choice. BUT I also know that loving parents who genuinely care are the most valuable thing you can give children by a mile; nothing else comes close, despite how poor or rich one is. Children will rarely realise this at a young age, so yes, there may be comparative playground politics (they exist regardless of wealth!) but it's a rare adult who doesn't appreciate their solid foundation once they get there.

Apart from the mega wealthy, everyone makes choices which are capped financially. And kids rarely have an idea about family finances - eg those raised on benefits asking for a TV or games console, my own children thinking an iPhone 7 would send us into debt. We are the adults; it's important for us to act responsibly and install values in our kids, which is why we buy pjs from Primark etc. I know this is different from them not having a single pair of cheap shoes that fit or a winter coat, but I'm always amazed by how many on this website alone buy their children expensive gifts at Christmas whilst working a minimum wage job - I have no idea how they can actually afford it.

Lunar_Eclipse

EmeraldEye wrote: »

I always roll my eyes when I hear/read people say things like "Love is enough for a child at Christmas", that could well be true if said child(ren) has lived their entire life in a bubble with no interaction with other children or seeing commercial advertising etc.

Most children love the idea of Santa (I'm a grown woman and I love the magic of Christmas) and my heart would break if I personally knew of any youngster who wasn't going to receive at least a handful of decent gifts on Christmas morning.

... to prevent the possibility of children from a family in your area waking up on Christmas morning with nothing from Santa.

For me, it's not a question of all or nothing though.

Very few people are so broke or uncreative that they can't produce anything without spending money.

When my kids were younger, I made a stocking full of sock monkeys / animals for my youngest. I used socks and material we already had. She was delighted, it wasn't remotely financially driven.

Hand-me-downs, swaps with friends/neighbours, up cycling etc easily produce a handful of decent gifts for Christmas.

And then a timetable of free family activities (wreath making from foraged finds, cookie baking, carol singing etc) would delight even the grumpiest, materialistic teenager in my experience. These are the things my kids ask to do for Christmas. I think sometimes we as adults assume our kids are more materialistic and brainwashed by advertising than we give them credit for. Seriously, it's just thinking cap time. I've never met a child who doesn't think love and family time is enough.

fierystormcloud

EmeraldEye wrote: »

It wasn't actually established whether the family in question asked for the sum of £500 or if the OP's wife decided on that figure herself.

Nevertheless, I always roll my eyes when I hear/read people say things like "Love is enough for a child at Christmas", that could well be true if said child(ren) has lived their entire life in a bubble with no interaction with other children or seeing commercial advertising etc.

Most children love the idea of Santa (I'm a grown woman and I love the magic of Christmas) and my heart would break if I personally knew of any youngster who wasn't going to receive at least a handful of decent gifts on Christmas morning.

The OP could easily visit The Works for £20 worth of books, Poundland for £10 worth of stocking filler bits, B&M for a fiver of novelty chocolate, The Entertainer for at least two good gifts for each child and Iceland for £25 worth of festive food - All in roughly £120.

£120 that he acknowledges he has to spare, £120 to know you've done a kind thing for others, £120 to prevent the possibility of children from a family in your area waking up on Christmas morning with nothing from Santa.

There are few joyous occasions in life and far too many disappointments, a lesson I am sure we have all learned many times so why any adult would knowingly inflict upset on a child just to spite the parents is beyond me.

£120 is nothing to someone like the OP (from what he has said at least) but it could be everything to the CHILDREN in this situation. I wouldn't want that on my conscience, to not help and later learn that the children didn't get anything.

If I had £120 to give myself I would contact the OP for the details of this family and I wouldn't care if it all turned out to be a fantasy tale because I'd rather risk losing money over a lie than learn of the tears of a child just because I was too caught up in bitterness to care.

The arrogance and judgemental remarks of some of the posters on this thread is stomach churning, people are very petty.

Regrading your last sentence - POT KETTLE BLACK MUCH!

Yes of course no-one wants to see any children suffering, and going without, but why is it the responsibility of the OP to bail out the irresponsible parents by buying their kids loads of stuff? And who says these kids will 'go without' anyway! Good grief!

And calling people arrogant and judgemental and petty for daring to have a different view to you is not on! And the OP is 'too caught up in bitterness!' What on earth are you talking about? I don't see any bitterness from the OP.

You go throw your money at people you barely know if you wish, but don't badmouth and slate people who choose not to.

Chucking money at these awful irresponsible parents who are clearly out to make money from people is nothing short of irresponsible and crazy! These kids won't go without anything; they will get stuff from the parents; these parents just want loads of extra dosh for spare ciggies and vodka! Anyone can see that!

System

I could never knowingly see a child without a present on Christmas day, I wouldn't care how irresponsible the parents are, I would make sure the children had something to open....I just wouldn't give cash to the parents.

Yes, for all i said in my previous post. I couldnt see a child without something to open on Christmas day either.

just_trying

fierystormcloud wrote: »

Regrading your last sentence - POT KETTLE BLACK MUCH!

Yes of course no-one wants to see any children suffering, and going without, but why is it the responsibility of the OP to bail out the irresponsible parents by buying their kids loads of stuff? And who says these kids will 'go without' anyway! Good grief!

And calling people arrogant and judgemental and petty for daring to have a different view to you is not on! And the OP is 'too caught up in bitterness!' What on earth are you talking about? I don't see any bitterness from the OP.

You go throw your money at people you barely know if you wish, but don't badmouth and slate people who choose not to.

Chucking money at these awful irresponsible parents who are clearly out to make money from people is nothing short of irresponsible and crazy! These kids won't go without anything; they will get stuff from the parents; these parents just want loads of extra dosh for spare ciggies and vodka! Anyone can see that!

People can write(within reason) and think what they like, her opinion is people have been judgemental etc. You writing her opinion "is not on" because she has her opinion is laughable.
As for the last bit of your post, how do you know there out to make money, there kids are going to have presents and they're wanting money for cigs and vodka. Yeah, you're just assuming that. I find your post judgemental.
The op probably started the thread as most people know, it will get a reaction.

mumps

fierystormcloud wrote: »

Regrading your last sentence - POT KETTLE BLACK MUCH!

Yes of course no-one wants to see any children suffering, and going without, but why is it the responsibility of the OP to bail out the irresponsible parents by buying their kids loads of stuff? And who says these kids will 'go without' anyway! Good grief!

And calling people arrogant and judgemental and petty for daring to have a different view to you is not on! And the OP is 'too caught up in bitterness!' What on earth are you talking about? I don't see any bitterness from the OP.

You go throw your money at people you barely know if you wish, but don't badmouth and slate people who choose not to.

Chucking money at these awful irresponsible parents who are clearly out to make money from people is nothing short of irresponsible and crazy! These kids won't go without anything; they will get stuff from the parents; these parents just want loads of extra dosh for spare ciggies and vodka! Anyone can see that!

Unfortunately there are children who get nothing for Christmas, no hot meal, no clean clothes and certainly no presents. It is horrible to think of and certainly easier to imagine that all children will get something, the parents could do something but you can't guarantee they will.

A teacher was telling me about visiting a child's home to speak to the parents. The school had been trying to contact them about various issues, attendance, time keeping, uniform, cleanliness etc. The house was quiet and no answer to the knock on the door, teacher looked through the letterbox and saw the child asleep on the sofa under some coats. When she got in she found out that was where the child always slept, she didn't have a blanket let alone a bed. Apparently the child often missed school or arrived late as she couldn't go to sleep until the parents had finished socialising with friends, the poor thing was too tired to get up. Hard to imagine kids having to live like this and yes the parents are !!!!less but that is hardly the child's fault.

Unfortunately when I worked for a large police force I heard far worse.

missbiggles1

mumps wrote: »

Unfortunately there are children who get nothing for Christmas, no hot meal, no clean clothes and certainly no presents. It is horrible to think of and certainly easier to imagine that all children will get something, the parents could do something but you can't guarantee they will.

A teacher was telling me about visiting a child's home to speak to the parents. The school had been trying to contact them about various issues, attendance, time keeping, uniform, cleanliness etc. The house was quiet and no answer to the knock on the door, teacher looked through the letterbox and saw the child asleep on the sofa under some coats. When she got in she found out that was where the child always slept, she didn't have a blanket let alone a bed. Apparently the child often missed school or arrived late as she couldn't go to sleep until the parents had finished socialising with friends, the poor thing was too tired to get up. Hard to imagine kids having to live like this and yes the parents are !!!!less but that is hardly the child's fault.

Unfortunately when I worked for a large police force I heard far worse.

And most of them don't live in the UK.

fierystormcloud

just_trying wrote: »

People can write(within reason) and think what they like, her opinion is people have been judgemental etc. You writing her opinion "is not on" because she has her opinion is laughable.
As for the last bit of your post, how do you know there out to make money, there kids are going to have presents and they're wanting money for cigs and vodka. Yeah, you're just assuming that. I find your post judgemental.
The op probably started the thread as most people know, it will get a reaction.

It's not just 'giving an an opinion' to insult and berate other forum members purely because you disagree with what they are saying, and I am quite within my rights to call this poster out for doing it.

If you think what that poster said about many posters on here is acceptable, then that says more about you than me. :cool:

Re the original post; I personally would never lower myself to begging for money from people. I have always supported myself, and always will.

Andypandyboy

I couldn't enjoy my own Christmas if I didn't help in some way. Food delivery and some presents for the kids is the way to go in my opinion. Sins of the Fathers and all that!