Help Needed with CSA

klare_2

overthehills wrote: »

:T Im with you on that one Klare. here here

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sorry,,,,i was so wound up with by that smug comment left by the PWC ( no doubt living off the state and her ex! ...( not nice to have comments made about you by a stranger when they dont know the full situ is it!!!!)..that i didnt note your vote of support..so thanks

overthehills

klare wrote: »

...
sorry,,,,i was so wound up with by that smug comment left by the PWC ( no doubt living off the state and her ex! ...( not nice to have comments made about you by a stranger when they dont know the full situ is it!!!!)..that i didnt note your vote of support..so thanks

You are welcome.
When my ex left, I applied for income support. Just as a leverage to decide what I should do. I always have been fortunate to be a housewife. \But that did not stop me looking for a job in woolworths or Tescos. They were my only choices. I wouldn't have been able to afford a mortgage, so renting had to be an option. I worked out to the last penny, where my money went and how I was going to support my family. I didn;t go running to my ex, I was quite happy for him to be off the scene anyway. As it happens he was on the scene as my kids had to see him. I despise him as he does me. The difference being, I love my kids and would never deny their access to their dad. Also, always making sure they looked nice when he collected them. I'm a proud mum you see.
He was/is different. His anger doesn't allow him to see past me to his children. Any money he gives, he thinks goes on my hair or my nails or new clothes. The fact is, I always put myself last. My kids get what they need. I am the adult so can look after my self.

When he got a girlfriend, my kids went to see him knowing I was completly ok with it. Hense they didn't have to think about what they said when they came home. They acted exactly the same way. Happy.

As for the csa. I know my ex earns tons more than he is letting on, but so what. My kids are happy and well looked after and I will have the knowledge of knowing myself but more importantly, my husband are responsible for that.
Why would I want to scr3w my ex over so my kids had nowhere to go when they stayed with dad?
As i have said. I love my kids and would do anything for them. And if that means leaving the !!!!!! of an ex alone, then so be it. My kids have had enough upset in their lives with parents splitting up, it's time to give them a break.

Zara33

klare wrote: »

i quite agree....and in addition, if the PWC isnt working, get off your lazy b#tt and go find a job!

It would be nice if you knew the reason as to why some pwc don't work :rolleyes: but as with all your posts on this thread you think you know the reason, but in fact you just make very general sweeping statememts.

Zara33

klare wrote: »

Anyway, im not wasting any more of my time and energy on arguing with you, my argument is with the system that lets parents get away with not working, sponging off the state whilst people like me have to slog our guts out to make ends meet, a system that lets children suffer emotional damage for years and wont do anything about it until its too late and a CSA system that is quite happy to see children put on the breadline ( from both the side of the PWC and the NRP! before anyone jumps down my neck!) rather than come up with a system that is fair
So if that makes me a nasty person but I a happy to put my hand in the air admit that i HATE spongers, you all need your b#tts kicking, and having kids is no excuse for not working.
This isnt healthy, im ending this.

Perhaps you should have thought about that before raking up £32,000 in debt

Zara33

overthehills wrote: »

Any money he gives, he thinks goes on my hair or my nails or new clothes. The fact is, I always put myself last. My kids get what they need. I am the adult so can look after my self.

I think you will find most parents are like this.

klare_2

Zara33 wrote: »

Perhaps you should have thought about that before raking up £32,000 in debt

yes you are absolutely right, i should have seen the nervous break down that caused the debt ...coming following my partner getting beaten up,,,with the offender stating that ;" she ( being the ex),,,send her regards as a punishment for him trying to get access to his chldren..
and I am guessing from yor comment that you dont work,,what a surprise! and my comments are not general or sweeping,,, they are unfortunately fact!...and especially now i kow how much better single mums are financially if they go out to work and the extra benefits they get for working, there is no excuse....
it amazes me how many single mums who are living off the state have got excuses as to why they cant!
and i seem to remember you made a sweeping statement in one of your posts about NRP's.
No doubt I am sure you will be feeling just as smug as you sit with your cup of tea in the morning whilst watching jezza kyle as you moan to your other state scrounger friends about wat ba####ds all your ex's are. Its a tough life isnt it.

klare_2

Zara33 wrote: »

Perhaps you should have thought about that before raking up £32,000 in debt

yes you are absolutely right, i should have seen the nervous break down that caused the debt ...coming following my partner getting beaten up,,,with the offender stating that ;" she ( being the ex),,,send her regards as a punishment for him trying to get access to his chldren..
and I am guessing from yor comment that you dont work,,what a surprise! and my comments are not general or sweeping,,, they are unfortunately fact!...and especially now i kow how much better single mums are financially if they go out to work and the extra benefits they get for working, there is no excuse....
it amazes me how many single mums who are living off the state have got excuses as to why they cant!
and i seem to remember you made a sweeping statement in one of your posts about NRP's.
No doubt I am sure you will be feeling just as smug as you sit with your cup of tea in the morning whilst watching jezza kyle as you moan to your other state scrounger friends about wat ba####ds all your ex's are. Its a tough life isnt it.

klare_2

and on that note, I am bowing out of this thread. it has been become ridiculously personal ( and yes i have played my part in that as well as others), in regard to what is a very emotive subject for people on either side of the equation because at the end of the day it is about kids.
and from our point of view, we will get through this and in ten years time we will at least be able to look back and say we did it, and we did right by the kids, and that is all that counts at the end of the day.. bringing them up well, loving them,caring for them, showing them what is right and what is wrong and having a work ethic that they will hopefully pick up on too.

Zara33

klare wrote: »

i really cant be bothered with people like you, narrow minded, and stupid and smug.Well what goes around comes round..

oh i just remembered,,,his ex wife has always been on benefits, but she was married at some point ( to husband number two ( she is now on number 3...her mother must be so proud!) )

this country is crazy, it does plenty to suppot the single mu and from what I can see absolutely nothing to support the family and if you happen to be in the middle in regard to wages, you have had it.... i wold better off to be a dole dosser like her and live off the state.

And i bet you are a parent with child!!!! How dare you comment when you know very little about our situation..and as for the child

you either dont have a heart or are stupid.

unfortunately for us we both choose to work for a living unlike half the single mothers who chose to live off the state.

yeah you have some great ideas about parenting dont you!

So if that makes me a nasty person but I a happy to put my hand in the air admit that i HATE spongers, you all need your b#tts kicking, and having kids is no excuse for not working.

i quite agree....and in addition, if the PWC isnt working, get off your lazy b#tt and go find a job!

sorry,,,,i was so wound up with by that smug comment left by the PWC ( no doubt living off the state and her ex! ...( not nice to have comments made about you by a stranger when they dont know the full situ is it!!!!)..

and I am guessing from yor comment that you dont work,,what a surprise! and my comments are not general or sweeping,,, they are unfortunately fact!...and especially now i kow how much better single mums are financially if they go out to work and the extra benefits they get for working, there is no excuse....
it amazes me how many single mums who are living off the state have got excuses as to why they cant!

No doubt I am sure you will be feeling just as smug as you sit with your cup of tea in the morning whilst watching jezza kyle as you moan to your other state scrounger friends about wat ba####ds all your ex's are. Its a tough life isnt it.

Now remind again who it is that is narrow minded, stupid and smug?

klare_2

Zara33 wrote: »

Now remind again who it is that is narrow minded, stupid and smug?

you see even when someone has tried to point out the obvious that this is emotive because we all are trying to look after our kids, you still have to try and score a point
go get a life Zara and stop getting a kick out of making yourself feel better from someone else's misfortune....and whilst you are at it i sugest you go and study the benefits system properly, check out what is actually going on in the world of the csa and families being destroyed and also go and look up the definition of smug.
Yes you are a good sparing partner for an argument but that is about it, IT WOULD APPEAR FROM YOUR POSTS, that that is where your talents end.