Help Needed with CSA

Zara33

klare wrote: »

And i bet you are a parent with child!!!! How dare you comment when you know very little about our situation..and as for the child,,she knows exactly what her other is like because she has found out herself, when her mother has consistently lied to her, taken her away from her Daddy and lied to her about that, not informed anyone of where they were going,changed her name without gaining the permission and lied in a court of law to say that she hadnt depsite the fact that she was registered at the schools as it and had her new name written in every piece of clothing...lied about things that happened in the past when she was younger only for the little girl to remember herself and realise what she had been told was false.
am i angry, to damn right I am, am i bitter, yes i am.
This country allows children to be kept in families that dont care for them properly, have no work ethics and teach the children that if something gets broken then its okay cause the state will buy the another one, their job is playing the system and they do it so well! and if you dont thinnk this kind of stuff really goes on then you arent living in the real world.infact if I didnt know any better i would say you are a social worker!...the sort of person who thinks its okay for a 12 year old to be held upagainst a wall by a grown man and threatened with a fist in her face. ~unbelieveable....
so if you think that i can stand by and watch anything like that go on,,,and say ' oh its okay', you either dont have a heart or are stupid.
I was warned about this kind of response on this forum but i hoped that my previous experience of the site would prevail and i would receive balanced responses So unless you have something senseable to say, please dont bother.
you thought i was angry before but my god im angy now,,,and no doubt you will have something to say about that too!:mad:

You got that right :T yes i am a parent with care a single parent, i dare to comment on your thread because i believe this is a public forum and anyone can read and respond to your threads, it's not exclusive to only post what i want to hear.

Suddenly you have a list of things that you say this mother is neglectful for, but are you actively doing anything?? or did you just decide to say this for effect because your husband doesn't pay child support. It never ceases to amaze me the amount of terrible single parents there are in the world according to new partners :rolleyes:

overthehills

klare wrote: »

And i bet you are a parent with child!!!! How dare you comment when you know very little about our situation..and as for the child,,she knows exactly what her other is like because she has found out herself, when her mother has consistently lied to her, taken her away from her Daddy and lied to her about that, not informed anyone of where they were going,changed her name without gaining the permission and lied in a court of law to say that she hadnt depsite the fact that she was registered at the schools as it and had her new name written in every piece of clothing...lied about things that happened in the past when she was younger only for the little girl to remember herself and realise what she had been told was false.
am i angry, to damn right I am, am i bitter, yes i am.
This country allows children to be kept in families that dont care for them properly, have no work ethics and teach the children that if something gets broken then its okay cause the state will buy the another one, their job is playing the system and they do it so well! and if you dont thinnk this kind of stuff really goes on then you arent living in the real world.infact if I didnt know any better i would say you are a social worker!...the sort of person who thinks its okay for a 12 year old to be held upagainst a wall by a grown man and threatened with a fist in her face. ~unbelieveable....
so if you think that i can stand by and watch anything like that go on,,,and say ' oh its okay', you either dont have a heart or are stupid.
I was warned about this kind of response on this forum but i hoped that my previous experience of the site would prevail and i would receive balanced responses So unless you have something senseable to say, please dont bother.
you thought i was angry before but my god im angy now,,,and no doubt you will have something to say about that too!:mad:

:T Im with you on that one Klare. here here

klare_2

i really cant be bothered with people like you, narrow minded, and stupid and smug.Well what goes around comes round..
if you had bothered to rad the posts properly you will already have seen that I said we had contacted social services ( and the police) both of whom said there was pretty much nothing we could do unless soemthing happened...we contacted two solicitors who sit on the child protection board in this area and they also said that whilst we had lots of hard evidence that something definately wasnt right and a very strong case to get custody, unless we could afford to pay the thousands for the legal battle , it was severe enough for the child to be removed immediately...unfortunately for us we both choose to work for a living unlike half the single mothers who chose to live off the state.
Did we try and help the PWC yes, she has had nothing but sweetness and light from me because i dont want the children to suffer. As i said before the girl has worked it all out for herself ( as people always assured us that she would) and we are ust biding our time now until she feels brave enough to tell her Mum where she wants to be ....
i even offered for the child to come to ours in the middle of the week so that i could carry on working at de-licing her! bu oh no....PWC prefers not to do that and instead doesnt bother doing the nits at all....

whilst Im not saying there arent good pwc out there , of course there are, there are also some very bad ones and the way this countr is set up it leaves that you are helpless to do anything about it...
and as for my partner not paying maintenance, he has been paying for the children for the time since they split up, only not by giving her cash direct... but then i guess you think that would be a good idea so that she can carry on popping more pills on our money! yeah you have some great ideas about parenting dont you!

Zara33

klare wrote: »

and as for my partner not paying maintenance, he has been paying for the children for the time since they split up, only not by giving her cash direct... but then i guess you think that would be a good idea so that she can carry on popping more pills on our money! yeah you have some great ideas about parenting dont you!

Errr excuse me where did i say popping pills was a good idea the whole point of this is your husband should have paid the money to the CSA not the PWC, as he was buying clothes etc this is not counted as child support, had he paid money to the CSA then you would not be in the mess that you are in now As she is on benefits she actually doesn't get the money it goes back to the state :rolleyes:

klare_2

yes i know that and he did tried to deal with the CSA but as is their normal behaviour they chose to take the information that they had gained from god knows where rather than the truth about his circumstances, meaning he wouldnt actually have been having to apy more than he was earning at the time..and there are thousands of people they they have done this too.

Anyway, im not wasting any more of my time and energy on arguing with you, my argument is with the system that lets parents get away with not working, sponging off the state whilst people like me have to slog our guts out to make ends meet, a system that lets children suffer emotional damage for years and wont do anything about it until its too late and a CSA system that is quite happy to see children put on the breadline ( from both the side of the PWC and the NRP! before anyone jumps down my neck!) rather than come up with a system that is fair
So if that makes me a nasty person but I a happy to put my hand in the air admit that i HATE spongers, you all need your b#tts kicking, and having kids is no excuse for not working.
This isnt healthy, im ending this.

overthehills

Zara33 wrote: »

Errr excuse me where did i say popping pills was a good idea the whole point of this is your husband should have paid the money to the CSA not the PWC, as he was buying clothes etc this is not counted as child support, had he paid money to the CSA then you would not be in the mess that you are in now As she is on benefits she actually doesn't get the money it goes back to the state :rolleyes:

I think you'll find that they will take into account ANY payments considered child support that the father pays to the parent with care. I was asked if my ex had made any contribution and would I lkie that to be taken into account. I said yes. Why should he pay double just because I can make him?

overthehills

klare wrote: »

Anyway, im not wasting any more of my time and energy on arguing with you, my argument is with, a system that lets children suffer emotional damage for years and wont do anything about it until its too late quote]

It's not the system that does that, it's the parents.

klare_2

overthehills wrote: »

klare wrote: »

Anyway, im not wasting any more of my time and energy on arguing with you, my argument is with, a system that lets children suffer emotional damage for years and wont do anything about it until its too late quote]

It's not the system that does that, it's the parents.

rubbish!.maybe in the first instance on some occassions but then you are left helpless to do anything about it, and this country is in way too big of a mess to simply say its the parents! Ridiculous response!

overthehills

If the parents acted in a reasonable manner the children wouldn't suffer. My kids are well balanced. They never hear me slating their father and my daughter knows her dad pays money for her keep. If HE wasn't such an idiot in the first place, I wouldn't have had to contact the csa. When he wised up to the fact he would be screw3d, we arranged a payment that suited both of us. Basically my ex pays for my daughters dancing, school bus fayre, horse riding lessons etc. Shoes, clothing etc. My husband pays for the everyday stuff. Food, electricity, heating. All the things we HAVE to have anyway. My daughter doesn't need new clothes every month, or new shoes etc so in some ways you are correct in saying the system is to blame.
It is making the fathers pay vast amounts to the ex wife. She could support her child happily but each time dad gets a pay rise, the csa take it for the child. What about the family he is trying to look after, as in my husbands case. He wants to better himself for us, not his ex. Perhaps it helps keep the ex in expensive clothes, flash cars while the child is constantly sent to their dad's with clothes unfit to be worn. Purely because the mother (who is supposed to love their child) is playing silly beggers with the dad.
So to a degree, it is the parents who are to blame.
Stp using your kids in your petty little pay backs

klare_2

i quite agree....and in addition, if the PWC isnt working, get off your lazy b#tt and go find a job!