Advice for alcoholic...

stormbreaker

You are possibly here as you see your wife falling apart because of this.

Be there for her and be supportive of her.

I don't consider alcoholism an illness but a life style choice.

I do appreciate that people may have turned to alcohol because of mental health issues, which effect each of us differently and each deal with it differently.

However their initial drinking, was a conscious choice and that choice was theirs for the making.

It is soul destroying watching a loved one acting like this but trying to offer them advice whilst in a drunken stupor is pointless.

If they can't get money to purchase the alcohol, don't be surprised if they start to steal it.

ripplyuk

If he's addicted to alcohol, then it can be dangerous for him to just quit cold turkey, without medical supervision. I'd ask him if he wants help to find somewhere to detox safely. Perhaps the duty social worker could assist.

If he doesn't want help, then unfortunately there's nothing you can do.

Unlike stormbreaker, I DO see alcoholism as an illness. I'm sure no one decides one day that they want to be an alcoholic, and they are often trying to numb some unbearable pain. However, it's still their decision whether they want help or not.

I agree that someone with an addiction will do anything to get their drug of choice, and that can include stealing.

missbiggles1

ohreally wrote: »

Complications arising from (liver and others).

Thanks. If that means he might not be drinking when he comes home, brother B might have a very negative effect on him.

ohreally

missbiggles1 wrote: »

Thanks. If that means he might not be drinking when he comes home, brother B might have a very negative effect on him.

This has been the situation for some time, B is selfish in the extreme (even before this crisis) and will do whatever he can to meet his own needs regardless of the impact on others.

missbiggles1

ohreally wrote: »

This has been the situation for some time, B is selfish in the extreme (even before this crisis) and will do whatever he can to meet his own needs regardless of the impact on others.

Then I think you should put brother A's needs first. If he's been off alcohol for a couple of months, this might be his big chance to get clean.

elsien

Even if they met the criteria for being sectioned initially, as soon as they get leave from the ward they'll be out hitting the bottle again and rolling back drunk. It's not going to stop them drinking if they have capacity and choose to carry on.

lincroft1710

As they are in their late 50s and have been alcohol dependent for many years, it will only be a matter of time before the situation sorts itself out.

Brother A may have had a wake up call, but unless he has had liver transplant, it may be too late to halt any permanent damage.

Brother B may turn to crime in order to fuel his addiction. If he continues not eating, it will further damage his body.

Sadly, nothing you or your wife can do.

ohreally

missbiggles1 wrote: »

Then I think you should put brother A's needs first. If he's been off alcohol for a couple of months, this might be his big chance to get clean.

On discharge he will return to the family home, chances are the cycle may simply continue.

White-as-Snow

Unfortunately I have a family member who is roughly the same age as your BIL's and he has had medical detoxes and has been on medication to stop the drinking but nothing worked for him and to this day he still drinks. I truly don't believe my family member will ever be sober to be truthful as he is disabled and feels that all he has in life is drink. Of course he has family but has never married/had kids so he feels that drinking all he has. He physically was detoxed but not mentally able to do it.

Do you think that your BIL may feel the same? You can't section someone if they are not a danger to themselves or others. As someone else has said if they know what they are doing with regards to the drinking there isn't much you can do.

I do think that you need to concentrate more on brother A and what will happen when he comes form hospital tbh. Will things go back to normal with the drinking?

Can't offer any practical advice I'm afraid as we have been unable to do what you are hoping to achieve.

Good luck however and I hope you achieve more success than us xx

missbiggles1

ohreally wrote: »

On discharge he will return to the family home, chances are the cycle may simply continue.

Then you need to concentrate on supporting brother A rather than brother B.