Advice for alcoholic...

ohreally

Situation: I have 2 brothers-in-law, for anonymity I'll call them A+B. Both are in late 50's and have severe alcohol dependency issues and are living in the family LA home.

"A" is in hospital atm, has been for around a month and expects to be there a further month. This brother is somewhat financially independent due to an occupational pension scheme and benefits (this supports the pair to drink), cash is not a problem.

"B" (this is our concern), as virtually no money and access to his brothers money has dried up while he's hospitalised. He is climbing the walls trying to get cash from anyone who will provide it, he is not eating, his focus is on getting money to buy drink (he weighs around 7-8st).

They both have the same GP, who has been asked by family members to arrange help and support but this is not forthcoming in anyway shape or form - I suspect she may be trying to dodge a bullet as local services are stretched to breaking point and he may very well put heavy demands in limited resources, that aside he is refusing any discussion of help anyway, telling folks to F off its his life to lead as he sees fit.

My wife is looking for suggestions as we recognise that he is a danger to himself and really should be getting sectioned to permit assessment and get a care plan in place. I fear his already fragile life is heading into the abyss.

Any suggestions on how to progress. They are in Scotland.

Thanks for reading.

stormbreaker

I'm sorry for your situation.

However, it's the alcoholic themselves who need to want the help.

Not until they realise they have a problem, accept their problem, and look for help for their problem can they move on.

For your own and your wife's mental well being, you may have to distance yourselves from the situation. I fully appreciate that this is easier said than done.

Just to add, the GP will not be dodging bullets. There is help available to those who want it. But it is the alcoholic themselves who need to show willing.

Gingernutty

What benefits is 'B' getting?

Pollycat

ohreally wrote: »

Situation: I have 2 brothers-in-law, for anonymity I'll call them A+B. Both are in late 50's and have severe alcohol dependency issues and are living in the family LA home.

"A" is in hospital atm, has been for around a month and expects to be there a further month. This brother is somewhat financially independent due to an occupational pension scheme and benefits (this supports the pair to drink), cash is not a problem.

"B" (this is our concern), as virtually no money and access to his brothers money has dried up while he's hospitalised. He is climbing the walls trying to get cash from anyone who will provide it, he is not eating, his focus is on getting money to buy drink (he weighs around 7-8st).

They both have the same GP, who has been asked by family members to arrange help and support but this is not forthcoming in anyway shape or form - I suspect she may be trying to dodge a bullet as local services are stretched to breaking point and he may very well put heavy demands in limited resources, that aside he is refusing any discussion of help anyway, telling folks to F off its his life to lead as he sees fit.

My wife is looking for suggestions as we recognise that he is a danger to himself and really should be getting sectioned to permit assessment and get a care plan in place. I fear his already fragile life is heading into the abyss.

Any suggestions on how to progress. They are in Scotland.

Thanks for reading.

Until this attitude changes, you can do nothing to help.

If it were me, I would not be enabling his continued misuse of alcohol by providing him with cash.

ohreally

Gingernutty wrote: »

What benefits is 'B' getting?

Unsure, all I know is they get a fortnightly payment. They aren't open to discussing.

ohreally

Pollycat wrote: »

If it were me, I would not be enabling his continued misuse of alcohol by providing him with cash.

None of us are.

nimbo

A person must be assumed to have capacity to make decisions unless assessed not to. A person making a poor choice must be supported to do so unless they do not have capacity.

A person can't be forced to detox and stay off booze. If brother b ends up in hospital for a detox if he chooses to leave and drink that is his decision.

I've previously worked at a drug and alcohol treatment agency and people being told they need to get clean does not motivate them. They need to be motivated for themselves.

It's a horrid place to be at but you can't force either of them to do anything they don't want to. And if they are assessed as understanding the potential outcomes of continuing to drink as they are and assessed to have the capacity to make that poor decision then they won't be sectioned.

nimbo

Pollycat wrote: »

Until this attitude changes, you can do nothing to help.

If it were me, I would not be enabling his continued misuse of alcohol by providing him with cash.

The problem is for a dependent drinker stopping drinking suddenly could kill them. A person who is physically dependant can have seizures as they withdraw and this can kill a person unless medically managed. Or a slow reduction of the alcohol is undertaken. Sounds counter productive but unfortunately true.

missbiggles1

Has brother A been hospitalised for alcohol abuse?

ohreally

missbiggles1 wrote: »

Has brother A been hospitalised for alcohol abuse?

Complications arising from (liver and others).

Person_one

Sectioning is probably not useful in these circumstances even if it were possible. The dependent drinker could spend weeks having a medically supervised detox and withdrawal symptoms managed so that they are no longer physically dependent, but unless they are also able to overcome the psychological addiction (which is not so easy and takes a lot more time and resources, if its even possible) then they will be straight back out drinking as soon as they are discharged.

Very sad for these brothers and for the rest of the family, but often the only thing to do to save sanity is to withdraw and protect yourself, financially and emotionally.