Advice on buying the wrong house

Mojisola

Buddy1990 wrote: »

Living with parents is so easy

I wonder if this is the heart of the problem - going from a nice, protected 'child' status at home to the reality of being a real grown-up with your own property and having to deal with everything yourself can be a shock.

Redacted

If you've only ever lived at home, you won't have learned that it's hard when you move because the new place doesn't feel like home. It takes time for a place to feel that way.

Decorating to your taste is a great start, as is personalisation of decor - pictures, nicnaks, rugs etc. Next is socialisation - have friends or family over and start building memories. Perhaps even invite the neighbours over and start getting to know them.

The noise you describe sounds like the type of noise you will hear in most houses, unless fully detached. Can you afford to buy a detached house? If not, you'll likely have the same issue in your next house too.

I think your hyper-awareness of the noise is making the problem worse though. Finding a way to resolve this seems like your best way forward.

bellaboo86

After buying your first home, I think everyone has a OMG what have I done moment. I would also add that it takes a while for a house to feel like your home. It took me a couple of months to get used to it. Can you make the house a bit more homely? Although I had furniture, It took a while for me to put up photos and pictures and buy home accessories.
I would also add that I live mid terrace and my left hand neighbours door is very close to mine so i can hear it opening and closing. I can sometimes hear them talking as they prefer to shout at each other from different rooms. Having said that, they are very nice people and I don't begrudge them a few noises. I'm sure I make just as many.
I love my little house although it's not big or fancy.

ukamber1

Buddy1990 wrote: »

Hi everyone , I'm after some advice and don't know where to turn. Me and my partner just bought a house 4 month ago and have made the biggest mistake of out lives. Basically we don't like it here for a few reason, the house is all fine ect and just been decorated throughout. But we've been over it a number of times and want out. But don't know what to do with out loosing thousands. We put 16k down and 144k mortgage. Fixed for 5 years. And the erc comes in at around £7500. So if we just sell we're set to loose around 12k I think if we sold.
Is there any thing that can be done to solve this big mess.

Hi, sorry to hear you not happy after such a short time. Sounds like you have everything there to make the property into a great purchase (big rooms, big garden etc, etc) It's important to remember that it sometimes takes time before a new house can feel like your "home". As many have said you need to atleast give it time. Everything still feels new and different and might feel like that until you can put your own stamp on the property, which can only happen if given a chance. If after time, you really are unhappy, look at it as a "investment opportunity" and that its just a stepping stone to the "right" place. Many people move a couple of times before they able to purchase the "house of their dreams" If you give it alittle time, with the small improvements you make on the home, you might even be able to make a few ££££ when you come to move.

With the cost of moving, solicitors fees etc, etc...moving so soon wouldnt really make much financial sense. Give yourselves chance for it to become your home......the important thing to remember is that if you really are unhappy, you not "stuck" there forever but 4 months isnt very long and need to atleast give it a chance to grow on you. Maybe change the kitchen, give the livingroom a new look...it might start to feel different....and even if it doesnt, the improvements will only add to the value for when you do move...

Best wishes

Buddy1990

Thanks for all the replys people I think it's opened my eyes a little more. Half the problem is Proberly down to us both only ever living with parents and she's been detatched and I've been next to really quite neighbours. Then we're moved next to a young large family that are very sociable. It's just hearing a bang every 5 minutes isn't a very nice thing to hear. We always have the radio on anyway so it's never dead silence. I've read so much into sound proofing and don't want to spend a few 1000 and it not work because then all I'll be thinking is that's more lost money. It's not tv noise and voices. It's the impact footfall noise. I think the house must of been built with very little sound proofing. I've spoke to next door a few times only hello ect. I don't want to go round tell them my problems and them take it as me being stuck up tight and make it even worse. I guess you'll say if you don't try you don't no ect.

Jenniefour

Buddy1990 wrote: »

Thanks for all the replys people I think it's opened my eyes a little more. Half the problem is Proberly down to us both only ever living with parents and she's been detatched and I've been next to really quite neighbours.

Something else to consider, besides what you've said above, is that if this is the first time either of you have lived away from your parents then your girlfriend may actually be feeling very dreadfully homesick and missing her parents. Entirely and completely normal. A period of grieving for what's lost - living with parents and everything that that means to your girlfriend, and adjusting to the new reality of being a home owner and independence from parents at the same time. It's a massive change, and it will take time to deal with. This might be what is getting in the way of her being able to feel happy with the house, and getting used to living next door to a sociable family with children. Your girlfriend might want to consider counselling, as suggested in another reply, to get some extra support to deal with this transition.

Plenty of youngsters experience being terribly homesick when they leave to go to University. But they also know they're going to be back with parents in the long holidays, so they have time to deal with this transition before they get set up with their own completely independent lives.

Would be helpful to separate out/identify what is causing the terrible upset for your girlfriend - ask her if she's feeling homesick and missing living with her parents. Then you're both clearer about what you're dealing with. There's nothing you've said about your house which would lead me to think the obvious and urgent answer is to move. I would also get to know those neighbours a bit better, say more than hello. I'm not talking aim for best buddies at all - just that it can be easier to make requests re noise etc. when there's a bit more to the relationship than simply acknowledging each others existence. And there's nothing better than good neighbours who are willing to help each other out in an emergency.

ViolaLass

Buddy1990 wrote: »

I guess you'll say if you don't try you don't no ect.

Yep!

You don't need to tell them all your problems. Just go round, say hello, be pleasant and then pick the most annoying noise they make and ask them to stop. You could word it as "I imagine you didn't know we could hear it but..."

The neighbours made a few noises that I'd rather they didn't but I focused solely on the fact that they woke me up at 1am having noisy sex. It allowed me to make the point that the walls are probably thinner than they think they are - which, of course, made them realise that the noises are thinner all day long and not just at 1am!

Buddy1990

Obviously we're both missing home but we're gone over it times. its the noise from next door that's the problem. I find it rather annoying don't get me wrong. I now feel sorry for my neighbours when I was a child. I can't see us stating there tbh. Good health means more then money if it comes to it. Money comes and goes. Are there any complications of renting it for say 6months then selling and taking the mortgage else where to avoid paying erc. I know if we move else where we could have the same problem ect. But we know what signs to look out for next time and things to avoid.

Placitasgirl

It's highly unlikely your mortgage provider would agree to you renting your property, and to do so without their explicit permission would likely be against the terms and conditions of your current mortgage. Don't even think of doing it without permission; it will cause you all sorts of problems.

Mojisola

Buddy1990 wrote: »

Obviously we're both missing home but we're gone over it times. its the noise from next door that's the problem.

I know if we move else where we could have the same problem ect. But we know what signs to look out for next time and things to avoid.

Unfortunately, you can't control who lives next door to you. You could chose your next house because the neighbours seem quiet only for them to move out and someone very noisy move in. Are you going to have to move out yet again?

Learn to live with the noise (which doesn't seem very much) or you are going to have a lot of stress in your lives.