The Illuminative Project.

Chandelier.

Sometimes I wonder if I do too much for people? We're car sharing again today to the boys activity and I'm not even there yet- it's already stressing me out, the thought of it.

I like peace and quiet when motorway driving. I'll have a car full of kids and it's giving me great anxiety. I'm not sure if this is worth it. It's only suppose to be for a month.

I'll get through it. Just one step at a time. I wonder if they'll offer petrol money too? Hmm we'll see.

We have lots of food in fridge to use up. We're taking a packed lunch to the activity so hopefully no spends there. I may buy myself a hot drink as it's freezing in there.

Must keep calm and positive.

Chandelier.

Today went okay, only minorly stressful. I think I got myself psyched up after previous experience but still stressful to say the least.

It doesn't help that I've been tired too.. I really felt it today and came home and had a nap. I've not long woken and feel quite disorientated.

I'm just having my tea now- left over lasagne from the other night. And then I should be meeting my friend at the gym later for a late night session and catch up.

Tomorrow the boy has a party to attend and a rehearsal for a show he's in. They overlap. I'll just send a fiver in card for birthday child. I've not had the time to go looking for a present.

I need to start watching what I eat. I've been making better choices but past couple of days I just want to snack. This is a side effect of tablets so need to keep it in check until it passes.

Hope everyone had a good Saturday.

Bobarella

Hi Chandelier
Does that mean you get to have a week off taking DS to his activity at some point?
Hope you have a better night tonight.
Bob

Chandelier.

Bob most likely not. Other person does not drive. However this next week upcoming he'll only be going one day. This is only short term at different venue but can be stressful never the less.

I have some good news anyway. Not exactly MSE- well in some ways it is. A few days back or so I was talking about travelling and sight seeing with my friend. Well we've booked Berlin for 4 nights at a cost of £116 each (£34 return flights, and £82 for hotel) for the beginning of March. I'm quite surprised it's so cheap. I already have spending money set aside from previous holidays. I'm excited for this, we plan to do lots of sight seeing. The boy will stay with his dads family. So that's one trip booked with friend this year. I'm on a count down, a little over 6 weeks to go!!

I hope in that time to lose roughly about 10lb with combination of gym and eating a healthier diet. I'll still allow treats.

Regarding treats we have a cupboard full of biscuits. I'm going to hide these or get my mum to because I'm finding I keep reaching for them. Oops.

Today the boy has a birthday party to attend and then rehearsals for a show he is in. I'll then come home, chill out for a bit and go gym later on in evening with friend again. I've a few things I'd like to get done but I'm not worrying too much.

- Sort out bookcase in bedroom.
- Empty one wardrobe and sort out (I have three singles which used to be together as fitted wardrobes).
- Make plan for week ahead.
- Transfer money over to friend for holiday.
- Make a loose meal plan for upcoming week.
- Relook at my goals/ambitions for the year.
- Sort out my late Christmas present, need to purchase online. :rotfl:

Hope everyone has a good day.

Chandelier.

Morning everyone. .

I didn't get much of my to do list done yesterday as my plans changed. I took the boy to his party and then rehearsals. After that I went home and had a rest as I was exhausted. I then ended up going to @sda with my mum and then went to visit my auntie and uncle. Once home around 6pm I had my tea which was leftover cottage pie and then went to the gym. I also sabotaged the biscuit cupboard, wooopps. I must stop that.

So I've decided to do SW from home. I'll spend the next few days getting my head back into it and making meal plans for myself for the full day. I need to up my fruit and veg intake as I'm probably managing 1-2 portions a day. Sometimes my mum will cook something that isn't SW friendly but I'll still eat it and work out syns for the meal. I'm putting myself on a "no biscuit and chocolate challenge" for the next couple of weeks. I'd like to lose around 10lb by the time I go to Berlin.

I had some small spends yesterday.. and I still need to transfer some money over to people I owe. That's on my to do list today and to purchase some passes I've been meaning to for a while. So my bank balance is going to take a hit. Ouch, but all is well.

This morning I have an appointment to attend which is an assessment for a referral for a small CBT group focused on Bipolar disorder. It's all about understanding the illness, learning ways to manage, creating a crisis plan that is useful for friends and family and learning about triggers. It sounds pretty useful and knowledgeable to me.

I've got some birthday cards I need to write out, and I need to post one to my sister who lives in London. I'll try find where stamps are if not I'll need to nip to post office. Whilst I'm there I can pick up form for the boys passport renewal and get that over and done with.

I still need to do some sorting out in my bedroom. I just don't know where to start. I think I'm going to sort and empty my room bit by bit until it is all bare and then I can put it back.

I also need to put my gym things in the wash, on a quick wash to freshen them up. I'll be going to the gym tonight with my mum.

Overall the weekend has been pretty hectic. I'm glad for a new start to the week. I have many upcoming things this week such as parents evening. I don't know if I mentioned but the boy got a fantastic report. I'm looking forward to meeting his teacher and asking some questions.

I need to get my diary out and use it... I bought a nice pretty one but keep forgetting. It's frustrating really. Maybe I should add that to my to do list today.

Hope everyone has a good day. I'll most likely come back later and update.

MistyMountainTop

You're sounding very organised - well done! I've found putting my intentions down here a very helpful way to actually get things done, even though this is an anonymous forum, there is a sense of accountability. It's always in the back of my mind. How big is your diary? I have filofax that fits in my handbag, I've found it helpful to keep it with me so I can go over it and plan while I'm waiting at Dr appts, etc.

I hope your appt goes well and you are able to get your referral, especially as it sounds like it could be really useful for you. Let us know how it goes!

Chandelier.

My diary is a5 size I think. It's a very pretty one I've just been so busy I've forgot to use it. This is my mission this afternoon to fill both that and our calendar in so I have something more visual. I rarely use a bag/hardback but could do with using it more. Lately I just carry my cards in my pocket which is more risky of me to lose them. Woops.

Anyway, assessment this morning has gone well. I start the course next week. It's a ten week course. I've explained everything to the person running the course re my concentration skills and how easily distracted I get and she was fine with this and states she will do anything to help me cope. As I am rather fidgety she stated she has some colouring books I could use to keep my hands busy. I'm fine with that. She's also gave me a mood diary to use and start to fill in. I'll keep that in my bedroom and update it each night before I go to bed and I've also some more paperwork/assessments to fill in for next week. I'll plan time later on this week to do that.

I've thought about a meal plan of what I shall eat today.

Brunch: Weetabix x2 with a banana.
Lunch: Jacket potato with baked beans.
Tea: Chicken and leek pasta.

Snacks:- Plum, chopped apple, satsuma, ham slices and cheese triangles.

I've not had my breakfast as of yet as it's been a busy morning so I'll have brunch and have other meals a bit later than usual.

I best get on.

Chandelier.

Mission attack bedroom has begun. I've decided I want to get rid of the bookcase. I'm currently sorting out that corner of the room. Sometimes it's so hard to get rid of things. I'm about to have a short break and eat my jacket potato and have a cup of tea.

I've already nearly filled two bin bags. The idea is that I dwindle down what items I have in my bedroom and eventually I'll resort through again and throw what I don't use. I'm trying to do the minimalist approach. Currently so much is stored in boxes and alot of it is rubbish I don't use. Ideally I'd like to get this down to around four boxes (there's currently about 8, woops). I'm hoping somewhere I may find the hard drive I lost. This isn't going to all be done in a day or two. There is so much to sort through and get rid of.

I'm finding it rather therapeutic in some ways. It's like goodbye to the old, hello to the current (the idea is I won't buy new until it's used).

Who knew one had so much makeup or three hair dryers? Madness.

SpekySquarehead

Have you heard of Marie Kondo? I read the book whilst on holiday and couldn't wait to get home and get rid of old junk I hadn't worn/seen/touched/thought about in years.

Bobarella

The trip sounds a fab bargain, so glad you have a nice thing to look forward to