The Illuminative Project.

SpekySquarehead

You said it before, you need some time for yourself. You seem to have so many spinning plates including caring for others.

Did you find going to the gym helped in anyway? For me, going to the gym does a few things. It clears my head as I listen to my music and can chose to either tune in or tune out. Also it helps me sleep better a night too as I'll be exhausted.

Also I can't recommend FD enough. Hopefully you'll get a switching bonus so free cash. A helpful hint; I phone them later a night, maybe from 9pm onwards. They usually answer in the first ring and are always so helpful. I phoned during the day once and waited for a few minutes.

Chandelier.

So today has been a bit of a weird one. I tried phoning work but couldn't get through and then felt mentally drained and apprehensive. I went to the dressing clinic and then picked up my new prescription.. When I got back I felt so tired so took one of my new meds and had a good nap this afternoon.

It's done me the world of good and I don't feel as low as I did. I managed to apply for FD bank account and switch, hopefully I've done it right and it will go through okay. It stated the earliest switch was 15th Feb. Seems ages away but I can be patient.

My gym had an offer where you could take family or friend to try out for the day, so I took my mum tonight and we did an hour there. I'm trying to persuade her to join with me so I have another person to go along with. She states she wants to tone up and get fit so it seems a good idea and we can go when the boy goes to his dad's.

Speky I do find the gym helps in some way, even if I don't do a great deal. I'm useless at running but I'm attempting to build it up little by little. I can only dream of the day where I can run consistently for a good period of time.

I do feel like I do have many spinning plates sometimes but I like to be busy. I'm limiting the amount I do though and ensuring it's manageable.

Tomorrows early start is no longer, my uncles op has been moved to the afternoon. This suits me better to be honest.

I feel a lot brighter now then I did yesterday and hope it was just a small set back and I can carry on being positive.

I'm about to make myself a hot drink, grab a shower then settle for the night. I hope I can still sleep well even though I had a nap.

When I first was ill and off work I'd nap alot during the day because I was so exhausted. I haven't slept in the day for quite a while now and I don't want to make it a habit.

I'll still need to sort my meds out into pots and clear my bookcase. The bookcase can wait.

As I said it's been an odd day but at least I can crack a smile now.

SpekySquarehead

Glad you're feeling better, long may it continue.

Great idea to get your mum to the gym too as having someone to go with helps provide motivation for those days when you just don't feel up to it.

Chandelier.

Thanks Speky. I'm trying to build a little support network re gym so there is always the possibility I'll have someone to go with. I much prefer it. Although the other night I did enjoy being by myself.

Today's a new day. Later this morning I'll be taking my uncle to the hospital in the next city. My auntie will be coming too so no doubt we can grab a coffee and catch up. I absolutely adore my uncle, he's the closest thing I've got to a father figure (my dad passed away when I was 8, so 16 years ago). Without fail, since my dad died he has come round to ours every Saturday morning (unless he has something on) for a catch up and brew. He's supportive, always there, kind, funny and a big softy at heart. He's always playing around with the boy and winding him up, it's fun to watch because the boy loves it and goes back for more. I'd be lost without him really. I know I shouldn't have favourites, but he's definitely my favourite uncle.

Before I pick my uncle up, I'll pop my head in at my grandads and see how he's doing. I could probably do with phoning to see what his test results were.

The boys dad got in touch last night saying he's at risk of losing his job- he's been close numerous times for cutting corners. I kind of knew what was coming next, he was going to mention maintenance.. and he sure did. I understand that if he does lose it I'll probably get nothing for a while until he finds a job again. However he moans about the sum he already pays (£140) and thinks that's extortionate. This comes from someone who holidays 5/6times a year and goes out alot and for days/weekends away etc. So we'll see what happens there. The £140 doesn't even come close to what I spend on the boy each month (which is my own choice but the boy enjoys his activity and the smile on his face is worth it each time). It will just be what it is, no use stressing over it.

I've still a couple of things left to do on my to do list. I don't seem to be getting very far but many can wait.

I've been thinking about a saying someone once told me "Keep on, keeping on". The story behind it was a lady whom I met that was around 100 years old. She was still independent in her daily activities and looked amazing. And when I asked her what her secret was, that quote is what she told me and it's stuck with me ever since. We sat and discussed things and aspects of life. This is what I love about my job, the conversations and wise words people offer. I try to apply that quote in all aspects of my life, its just pretty catchy yet simple.

So that's what I'll do today, keep on going.

Chandelier.

£48.35 overpayment made to loan which should bring it down to £2100.

Other credit card balances remain untouched at the moment (0% deals). I will look at my bank accounts properly later on and work out what payments I can make to these to keep them ticking over. The plan is to focus on tackling the rest of the loan head on and keep up with minimums to credit cards. The first credit card deal runs out 1/11/17- I'm confident I can get most of this paid off before then and if push comes to shove I'll just balance transfer it closer to the time.

Happy days.

Chandelier.

Total debt now stands at approximately £8410.00. I hope to get this below the £8400 figure by end of month.

:T:rotfl:

Scott_Weiland_2

What have they added too the medication mix?

Keep up the gym it will help x

Bobarella

Hi Chandelier

I read the bit about your son's father and his views on cost of contribution with a big frown on my face. Really cannot understand how anyone can begrudge paying for their own child's upbringing. And as a fellow parent I know only to well that £140 a month wouldn't touch the sides, that probably just about covers your son's food bill for a few weeks! Why should you be left to carry the can, despite the fact it is abundantly clear you do it with love and enjoyment.
Grrrr!!!

Glad you had chance of a rest yesterday afternoon. Your Uncle sounds lovely by the way, just what you need for both of you, a nice kind normal guy.

Bob

MistyMountainTop

You sound like such a lovely person! Your boy is lucky to have you.

I am another who cannot believe the father's attitude to maintenance payments. I have a 'friend' who is the second wife of a man who already had children when they met. She is always complaining about how they can't do things because the father has to pay x amount towards his children, and meanwhile wife #1 is living the high life. I know wife #1, and she is struggling far more than they are.

You may have already mentioned it, but was the maintenance payment amount set by CSA or was it agreed between the two of you? It seems quite low in my opinion.

Chandelier.

Scott they have added depakote twice daily and then I have phenergan (to aid sleep, on a as and when basis) and diazepam (for crisis times). I'm reluctant to use diazepam, its put to the back of cupboard for emergencies only. I hope to God I don't find myself in crisis any time soon.

Bob I'm totally with you. I knew what he was going to mention when he messaged and that if worse was to happen he'd expect me to go without, because everything else is more important. Thankfully he's apparently not lost his job but he's holding onto it with skin of his teeth. He says he's going to look for new employment but I doubt it. He's been with said company for over 12 years. He's quite selfish to be honest. He's always begrudged paying maintenance. I have the boy 5 nights a week and do so much with him. The 2 nights he goes to his dad's it's mainly his grandparents that look after him because his dad is either working or goes out or is sleeping.

So the boys grandparents on his dad's side. I love them to pieces and even his great grandparents. I get on very well with them. To be honest I have a good relationship with them all, most of the time it's fine with his dad.. Except when he wants to be a wally.

His dad has a girlfriend who is about 3/4 years younger than me. They've been together two years.. And I couldn't ask for someone better to be around the boy. We get on really well and discuss things and do things together at times. She took the boy out last week to a party by herself as that's who the boy wanted to go with. She really enjoyed herself and offered to look after boy if I ever needed it or wanted a break/if she was off. She's a lovely person with a big heart and is very thoughtful. The boy's dad is lucky to have her. I don't mind including her in things related to the boy. I'd rather have strong supportive networks and for the boy to be well loved.

We may not be the typical nuclear family but we do have something wonderful which I'm grateful for.

Misty, it's agreed between us too. At the time of calculation it was right. But I have a feeling it should have gone up by a bit. His dad's not a bad person, just selfish with money and always has been. A relatives new wife moans about how much he pays for his daughter from previous relationship. I just laugh. She's no kids currently and doesn't realise cost.

Yesterday was a good day. My auntie bought me lunch while waiting for uncle to have op. We got hot beef barms from b00ths, they were lovely and lots of meat - yum. His op went well and I went back to theirs for a cuppa. My aunt gave me fiver petrol money. I honestly didn't want anything and felt bad taking it. We had a really good catch up and later on they text me saying thanks and called me a star. It really put a huge smile on my face.

I then checked on my grandad and he was fine as always. He has new antibiotics to take for a week so I'll phone for his results later on today.

Today I have my own appointment with doctor to renew sicknote. I then have another return to work meeting which I'm going to request a return date and discuss options of annual leave.

I think I'll go to the gym this morning before anything else. Or see when my friend plans on going.

Aside from that I have no planned spends. I still need to look at making s payment to the credit cards to tick me over.

I'll get on laptop tonight and post recipes I previously used.

Have a good day everyone.