Financial help after a split.

Telina

I really hope someone can help me please.
My partner and I are separating due to her compulsive gambling which has caused me mental health problems. Back in February she won £10,000 online after already promising that she would never gamble again for the 3rd time. She bought a car for £3,500 and without my knowledge has gambled the rest of it away. The car is registered in her name and the insurance is in mine. The car is currently still here and I was wondering if I can legally keep it.
My intention is to sell it as I believe I have a legal right to some of the money she won and didn't share at all with me.
Thankyou for any help.

ognum

I don't know anything about your legal rights but it interests me that you split because of you dislike with her gambling but are prepared to profit from it when it suits you!

There appears to be some confusion of your morals and ethics here to say the least!

Telina

Perhaps I should explain a little more. Her gambling is so heavy that I have paid for everything else, so rent, food, council tax, gas, electricity, etc, etc. She has refused professional help and gambles her entire salary within a few days of receiving it. I have had Bailiffs and debt collectors here persuing her for money. I certainly don't want to profit in her gambling, but I have debts too that are a result the financial strain. I have a very low income and I could at least recover financially

ognum

Telina wrote: »

Perhaps I should explain a little more. Her gambling is so heavy that I have paid for everything else, so rent, food, council tax, gas, electricity, etc, etc. She has refused professional help and gambles her entire salary within a few days of receiving it. I have had Bailiffs and debt collectors here persuing her for money. I certainly don't want to profit in her gambling, but I have debts too that are a result the financial strain. I have a very low income and I could at least recover financially

Thank you for the explanation it certainly helps to understand a bit more of your situation though I fear the car is registered to her so belongs to her, you can of course cancel the insurance.

Telina

I did think of that, but I don't want her to be arrested as she will certainly still drive it and subsequently have recovery and storage fees plus fine and points.

tacpot12

I can see your logic in trying to remove the car from her, but if she bought it, it is hers. You will end up either cancelling the insurance or not renewing it, so either way, she is going to end up with no insurance.

I'm more curious about what you are going to do about somewhere to live? Is she named as a tenant on your tenancy agreement, or is she living as your guest in a property where you are the sole tenant?

I'm also curious about how much you still feel for her and are prepared to help her? Are you ready to do anything to break your ties with her, or are you hoping that you can do something to make her see sense?

So sorry that you are in this situation. It sounds dreadful.

Telina

This is council property in my name only. The reason that she is not co-tenant is so that bailiffs, etc, have no right of entry/sieze goods. The first time bailiffs came here was from her old address where she was in rent arrears and hadn't paid council tax. The situation got so bad that I put the bailiff on his backside and I nearly got arrested for it. I still love her - she is otherwise beautiful. I cook, clean, wash wipe, etc, etc. I have been told to sleep on the sofa and have done so for more than a year now. I guess this is that she either doesn't want me that close to her or because I can't watch her gambling online on her laptop. I sat next to her one evening and within a couple of hours she gambled and lost £600, then told me what she had done. She became expert at closing a window if it looked like I would see what she was doing. She has refused to take any kind of help at all, and if I try to discuss it, she gets very angry. I am now in the care of Avon and Somerset mental health trust, I have to take strong and addictive anti-depressants just because of this.

PeacefulWaters

She's horrible.

elsien

You do know you're enabling her, don't you?
By funding everything for her, you are allowing her to keep spending money on her gambling. Sometimes people need to hit the bottom before they can address the problem. As long as you subsidise her lifestyle and keep a roof over her head, that's not going to happen. She has no incentive to change while you are footing all the bills.

So when you split up, where is she going - is that sorted or will she want to to help with a deposit for a new place ?

http://www.gamcare.org.uk/get-support/partners-friends-and-family

pphillips

Has she agreed that you can have the car? If no - then you can't keep it. Cancel the insurance and tell her to pay her own bills.

FBaby

Be grateful that you get to stay in the property. Give her her car back, it is hers, as are her debts and move on so you can focus on rebuilding your own self.