A tricky situation

Jackieboy

peachyprice wrote: »

I'm truly astounded by the number of people who think that someone peeing themselves constantly is a totally acceptable way to live and that OP should just put up or shut up.

The woman has serious health issues and is in complete denial about it, it's not normal behaviour for someone of such a young age to not be able to use incontinence pads and keep themselves clean, it sounds like she has mental health issues too.

OP, could your son make an appointment with her GP or the nurse at the surgery? I know they won't discuss her with him but they may listen, at least let someone know the filthy conditions your MIL is living in so that they can decide whether they want to take action. This is not a normal way for a woman of her age to live, someone outside the family needs to get this across to her.

The OP's son?

peachyprice

Jackieboy wrote: »

The OP's son?

Sorry, typo

FBaby

The woman has serious health issues and is in complete denial about it, it's not normal behaviour for someone of such a young age to not be able to use incontinence pads and keep themselves clean, it sounds like she has mental health issues too.

There is no indication she has MH issues and her husband is clearly not bothered so it can’t be that bad. OP and his wife did the right thing pointing out the issue -hopefully in a dignified manner - , but that’s all they can do. My mum is in her early 70s and I would never dare going behind her back to make a doctor appointment, she would feel totally infantilised and rightly so. If OP’s wife is concerned, she can maybe continue to try to speak with her father and mum, but this discussion should have nothing to do with how the situation affects their discomfort, only concerns for her health.

onomatopoeia99

peachyprice wrote: »

I'm truly astounded by the number of people who think that someone peeing themselves constantly is a totally acceptable way to live and that OP should just put up or shut up.

If they want to live in her house, that is precisely what they should do.

I don't think it's an acceptable way to live either, so I wouldn't live there.

peachyprice

FBaby wrote: »

There is no indication she has MH issues and her husband is clearly not bothered so it can’t be that bad. OP and his wife did the right thing pointing out the issue -hopefully in a dignified manner - , but that’s all they can do. My mum is in her early 70s and I would never dare going behind her back to make a doctor appointment, she would feel totally infantilised and rightly so. If OP’s wife is concerned, she can maybe continue to try to speak with her father and mum, but this discussion should have nothing to do with how the situation affects their discomfort, only concerns for her health.

Oh, come on, you think it's normal for a 63yo woman to be in denial about peeing herself? Would you be happy if that were your mother? Would you just sit back and do nothing and let her carry on peeing herself and covering the house with pee? I know I wouldn't, I'd want to get her help, even if my dad refused to acknowledge a problem.

The woman is 63, she's going to lose all her friends, she's going to be ostracised by her neighbours as the mad lady who smells of pee, all because her family tiptoed around her.

onomatopoeia99

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

spend a few hundred quid on a camper van,.

Please point me to these camper vans that can be had for a few hundred quid. My old (29 years) VW van is worth a few thousand and doesn't have a camper interior and doesn't even have an MOT.

Jackieboy

peachyprice wrote: »

Oh, come on, you think it's normal for a 63yo woman to be in deanil about peeing herself? Would you be happy if that were your mother? Would you just sit back and do nothing and let her carry on peeing herself and covering the house with pee? I know I wouldn't, I'd want to get her help, even if my dad refused to acknowledge a problem.

But she isn't the OP's mother, surely that's part of the point?

peachyprice

onomatopoeia99 wrote: »

If they want to live in her house, that is precisely what they should do.

I don't think it's an acceptable way to live either, so I wouldn't live there.

And that's what you would do if it were your mother? You wouldn't want to get her any help?

peachyprice

Jackieboy wrote: »

But she isn't the OP's mother, surely that's part of the point?

No, but her OH is the womans son, that's why I suggested HE spoke to someone. Just because it's the OP who has posted doesn't mean the son is not just as disturbed by his mother's behaviour too.

PeacefulWaters

Price up private surgery for her issues.

It might be more affordable than you think.