Should I just give up?

feater

thanks Lady E. You'd think at my age (early 30's) all this c**p stops but apparently not!

mamamia

How long are you going to wait for him to sort himself out? You may miss out on the right guy for you while you are waiting. You said he has lost his libido. It can be very frustrating when you are with someone who can not satisfy you sexually iykwim. He has told you plainly that you don't deserve him, I know it is difficult to just part with someone you are deeply in love with. If it was me, I would sleep over it and think about the benefits and pains of the relationship.

Goodluck with your decision.

djdido2

Rather than thinking negative and "giving up", get yourself out there chick. Keep yourself busy with all the things you love doing and have always wanted to do. Why stick around and wait for someone who clearly cannot give you a straight answer.

I think you need a bit of boost of the old self esteem and being in this situation is not helping you one bit. Join a club, treat yourself to nice hair do etc and enjoy that time to really feel good about yourself. If he wants you he knows where to find you!!

Chin up chick

x

Dido

tomstickland

less. He’s told me he still loves me but thinks I deserve better than him, he doesn’t have the energy for a relationship at the min and that he wants to be on his own to sort things out and it wouldn’t be fair to ask me to wait for

Sounds like he can't be bothered to me. For whatever reason.

feater

Thanks for the encouragement. Have been out a lot so not sitting in feeling sorry for myself. Hopefully things will work out cos I really want them too but if they don't I know it's not the end of the world.

feater

Thanks for the encouragement. Have been out a lot so not sitting in feeling sorry for myself. Hopefully things will work out cos I really want them too but if they don't I know it's not the end of the world.

Doozergirl

If you weren't together for that long and a lot of that time hasn't been good for whatever reason, then I think it's time to move on. There's always a honeymoon period and it sort of seems like you haven't made it much past that.
If I'm completely honest, it does sound a bit like the 'it's not you, it's me' line

I'm a bit shocked that you decided to try for children so soon Each to their own, but imagine if you had gotten pregnant and all this was going on now?

I'd concentrate your efforts on bigger and better.

taxi97w

Sounds to me like he has lost his libido because he doesn't want children. Every was going swimmingly until you said that. You getting serious like that may just have taken the fun out of the relationship. And when he says you don't deserve him, I think he means , you don't deserve a bloke who is not as serious about your future as you are (IMHO).

feater

Just to clear something up. I've known him for about 10 years through a family member so I suppose when you already know someone things just move quicker.

Also it was his idea to see what happens in the baby dept not mine as I was using contraceptive and was quite happy with waiting. It was also his idea to talk about marriage, buying a place together etc.. All the stuff that's supposed to mean your serious.

Not getting annoyed but peeps tend to think it's always the woman who pushes for that stuff and it was the other way round in my situation.

taxi97w

feater wrote: »

Just to clear something up. I've known him for about 10 years through a family member so I suppose when you already know someone things just move quicker.

Also it was his idea to see what happens in the baby dept not mine as I was using contraceptive and was quite happy with waiting. It was also his idea to talk about marriage, buying a place together etc.. All the stuff that's supposed to mean your serious.

Not getting annoyed but peeps tend to think it's always the woman who pushes for that stuff and it was the other way round in my situation.

I understood it was the other way around. What I meant was, I think he realized what he said and got scared after you agreed with him.