Being excluded from events because your partner is not liked...

Peter333

Robisere wrote: »

Background: my brother is much older than me, which means I have nephews & nieces who also have children and are closer to me in age than their parents. OK? -

I blocked a great-nephew on FB because he mocked my spelling of a word, which was actually correct. (he is as thick as porcine exhaust) He also used obscene language in the 'Mock' session, makes a habit of it on FB, he is a very objectionable, aggressive thug. I informed him of the corrected version and that I was going to block him, and did so. The rest of his aunts have now blocked me, but his remaining uncle would not do so and we are still in contact. Apparently they have informed their aged parents about this, which means that my brother no longer speaks to me. As we never did get on anyway and I live two counties away, I am totally indifferent to them all, with the exception of my nephew.

My attitude is screw them, not one except my nephew has ever visited any home that my wife and I shared, even when we lived just a mile apart, although I was expected to visit them. We have our own family and many friends and need them no more that they seem to need us.

You can choose friends, you are not extended the same choice regarding family.

Gosh I'm sorry to hear that. And yes you're right, you can choose your friends but you can't choose your family!

Andypandyboy

I expect that if the "friend" had never seen fit to put the wife in the picture the issue would have quietly faded away. I would question their motives tbh.

onlyroz

With couples you can't really invite one and not the other, and so if one partner is disliked then there isn't really much choice but to exclude them both.

In general, though, there are plenty of people who are totally oblivious to the fact that people dislike them. My aunt is opinionated and hardly lets others get a word in edgeways in a conversation. She is always right, even when she is blatantly wrong, and won't entertain being corrected. She also likes to take charge of things. The biggest issue is that she will invite herself along to places - most famously inviting herself to my parents for Christmas a few years back. She has absolutely no idea that people go out of their way to avoid her - for example when my parents go back to their home town (they moved down south to be closer to me and my brother) they often don't tell her they are visiting.

But the British largely don't like confrontations and would rather politely ignore or avoid people than tell them that they're annoying and opinionated.

maman

The whole thing sounds a bit like a soap opera.

Inviting any potential in-laws to a wedding seems odd to me. OK invite the children and a plus one but the parents?? I'm assuming they must have clicked with the daughter's 'in-laws' and invited them as new friends.

There's a bigger picture here. If OP'S friend's husband is a well known PITA then this will happen again and again. Next week they may not be asked to the milkman's step grandson's christening and that would be devastating.

pollypenny

I don't see why increasingly wide networks should be invited to functions, either. My parents, well my mother despised my MIL as she remembered her from working in the Bridgend Arsenal during the war.

OH was brought up by his lovely grandparents anyway.

tea_lover

I still can't work out who was related to who in the OP!

onomatopoeia99

tea_lover wrote: »

I still can't work out who was related to who in the OP!

I'm glad I'm not the only one! :rotfl:

SuzieSue

tea_lover wrote: »

I still can't work out who was related to who in the OP!

It's like you and your husband not being invited to your son's girlfriend's father's wedding. However, her father invited her sister's boyfriend's parents who he had only met twice. Whereas your son's girlfriend's father had met you and your husband several times over 2 years.

DavidF

I don't see a problem here. They invited one lot of "potential in-laws" I should imagine because they like them. They did not invite the other set because the do not like at least one half of the couple.

If your friend didn't know her hubby was seen in this way then either their family and friends were very good at covering this issue up OR your friend and her hubby just don't take much notice of the reactions of people when they are at social events.

I know of several couples who are routinely "excluded" from various events/parties ect ect because one half of the couple is in some way objectionable. The only difference to the op is most of their partners are more than aware why invites are rare and that it is the partners actions that lead to the situation.....Then partners have the choice - Accept that they are not going to ton's of events OR tackle their partners behavior and BE SEEN to do so.

Very true saying as above "You can choose your friends, But you can't choose your family". Just because someone is related to you does not mean you have to put up with them.

amersall

SuzieSue wrote: »

Actually, what I find most puzzling about this thread is that the OP's friend would expect to be invited to the wedding because they do not have a direct relationship with the people getting married.

I don't think I would invite my son's wife's parents to my wedding let alone his girlfriend's parents. But perhaps some extended families are closer than mine.

Ditto,my thoughts too.