Sticking with one child?

piglet74

I'm 42 now (with one daughter. 18) and I would drop dead on the spot, if I found out I was pregnant !!

I would also be looking for a bright star in the East, and three wise men due to the lack of action I seen recently! ��

chelseablue

piglet74 wrote: »

I'm 42 now (with one daughter. 18) and I would drop dead on the spot, if I found out I was pregnant !!

I would also be looking for a bright star in the East, and three wise men due to the lack of action I seen recently! ��

Haha!
When she became pregnant at 42 she already had a son who was 15.


So now her kids are 21 and 6, that's an age gap and a half!

Gavin83

Lily-Rose wrote: »

I also know several families with 3 or 4 siblings where the family is fractured. 2 siblings get on, then the other one or two are completely estranged from the rest.

I know someone who has 3 brothers and he doesn't talk to any of them. In fact I don't think any of the other brothers speak either. They'll likely never speak or see each other again. I also know another person who used to be really close to his brother but they had a big falling out and haven't spoken for about 4 years now. Sad but I don't think it's that uncommon.

Lily-Rose wrote: »

Yeah that would be my cut off point too. I think the oldest age to have a baby should be 40/41. JMO.

Personally I wouldn't have a baby any older than 35 (regardless of gender) and I think even that is pushing it. I also wouldn't have a child any younger than 25 either as I think it's too young for a number of reasons. Of course others would disagree with me but that's their life choice.

ska_lover

I can imagine it a lonely place to be if you are up to your knees in nappies in your mid forties and your female friends are enjoying life childfree by that stage. But the same the other way round, if you have them young and your peer group are holidaying in Ibiza..

chelseablue

True, Im not sure Id want to be 45 and in the newborn stage again.
Looking back I didn't really enjoy the newborn stage much (don't get me wrong I love my son to bits)

owlet

My DD is an only & now 29 years old. Due to very traumatic birth (I was 22 ), where we both nearly died there was no way on earth I was doing it again. Everyone said that I would forget about it but I never did & can still recount every minute even though I'm now 51.

I was put under enormous pressure from family to have another child - I was told I was selfish, cruel & much worse. However I made sure she had plenty of friends to come and play/stay over etc & she has a lot of cousins too. I have never regretted my choice & DD has been happy. She is well adjusted, kind, caring, hard working & still keeps in touch with many school friends going back to primary school.

It's a very individual choice & there are no right or wrongs. All I would say is don't be pressured by others.

Person_one

Lily-Rose wrote: »

It's one of the most inaccurate sweeping generalisations to come out of the mouths of people with more than one child, and occasionally people with no children. And in my experience these spiteful remarks come from people who are jealous.

Jealous of the close relationship that the parents have with their 'only' child, jealous of how academically advanced the only child is, and jealous of how many friends the only child has... For some reason, these people just delight in making spiteful remarks about how 'spoilt' only children are, when in actual fact, they are often no more spoilt than children with siblings.

As Person One says, the favourite sibling in the family tends to be the one that is spoiled, much more than any 'only' sibling is.

I know half a dozen 'only' children, including my own daughter who is nearly 22, and each one, without exception, excels at school, has a great relationship with their parents, and is well educated, well travelled, polite, intelligent, and studious. And they almost always have a huge circle of friends.

I don't think people make the comment because they are jealous, its just a well-entrenched stereotype and people probably don't actually think that deeply about it. There are undeniably some only children who are a bit spoiled, just as there are eldest children, and youngest children, and middle children who are too but when they meet a spoiled only it confirms an existing idea so is more memorable.

You do make it sound a bit like having an only child as good as guarantees you a perfect angelic child though, which is equally unrealistic!

owlet

Gavin83 wrote: »

One big issue is that their last real desire in life is to be grandparents yet I don't want children. I feel bad for them that they won't get to experience that but there's no way I'm having children just to please them. Quote ]

Good for you! My DD is still single (29 but had a failed long term relationship of 10 years)
I'd like to be a granny but it's not a burning ambition. No way would I put pressure on her, the subject doesn't come up in any depth & at the moment she's not thinking about it . I can't see her having children tbh but things can change.

Stick to your guns - children are a huge responsibility & cost buckets lol. Only have children if YOU want to - your parents won't be the ones bringing them up!