How much planning went into you having children?

warehouse

If you plan to have a baby at the right time then you'll never have a baby.

enthusiasticsaver

We had a plan, although many years ago. My younger daughter has followed that to a certain extent. Got married and bought a house in mid twenties and then started trying for a baby. I had my first at 26 and my daughter had hers at 28 but she spent 3 years at university which is more common these days. My elder daughter says she is stuffed as she does not have a partner and is 30 and very career orientated. I think some people obviously do struggle with having children in their thirties and forties but I still hear of lots of women falling pregnant later in life so it obviously does happen. I guess the issue is if it does not happen immediately the clock is ticking to get it sorted and with NHS cuts to IVF etc it puts childbearing out of reach for some families.

I would say the main thing with kids is that you have a stable relationship, a roof over your head (rented or mortgaged) and preferably little or no debt to cover the maternity leave. If you do have debt then at least a plan to keep the stress at bay while earning power is reduced.

All babies need is to be loved and cared for. They do not need expensive stuff.

MallyGirl

bought a house that needed lots of work. Did a fair bit of work to it. 2.5 years later got married. Came off the pill after wedding and DD was born 18 months later (I was nearly 35 then).

No financial planning done as such - we knew we could afford it and had a flexible/offset mortgage so it didn't really matter when I took a year's maternity as we knew we would catch up later.

cats2012

Loads of planning. Did house - marriage - couple of years just us. Then all went out the window when it took us 18m to conceive. Life is a funny thing!

firebird082

We planned to start trying after the wedding. Always wanted to have had my kids by the time I was 30, but didn't even meet my now-husband until that age! Had it all planned in my head. Still trying, 5 months on and wish we'd started earlier in all honesty, as I'm not getting any younger! Life never works out how you plan.

mumcoll

First baby I planned by adjusting when I took the pill so my fertile period would fall within the two weeks my then boyfriend was on leave from HM Forces. Baby born 9 months later.


Second baby, now married to boyfriend. We decided we'd have another baby. Got pregnant straight away.


Third baby (still married to the same man). We decided to have another so I stopped taking the pill mid cycle and got pregnant immediately. Baby born 9 months later.


The only thing I have done easily in my life is have babies!

Peter333

Andrew_Ryan_89 wrote: »

Hey guys,

I am curious to know how much planning went into your decision to have or try for children, especially the first child. I always had a plan that I would get the house, get married and have children as soon as possible to "get it out of the way". Everything else I am usual quite financially sensible about and think ahead but when it comes to having children, I pretty much have the "I'll cross that bridge when I comes to it" when it comes to potential issues like house space, finance etc.

I think that attitude comes from quite a few successful women I know of that put baby-making to one side to concentrate on their career and are now regretting not having children and desperately trying to conceive.

warehouse wrote: »

If you plan to have a baby at the right time then you'll never have a baby.

This. ^^^ There's never a good time Andrew, but it's best to have your own place, a job, and a bit of money put away if poss.

However, it's true that if you wait til you can afford to have a baby, you will never have one. :rotfl:

Go for it though! You won't regret it. We didn't.

IMO, you are more likely to regret NOT having children, than you are to regret having them.

baby_lemonade

mumcoll wrote: »

Third baby (still married to the same man). We decided to have another so I stopped taking the pill mid cycle and got pregnant immediately. Baby born 9 months later.

That's pretty good going, for this board :laugh:

fairy_lights

Peter333 wrote: »

IMO, you are more likely to regret NOT having children, than you are to regret having them.

I'm not sure this is true. I think quite a lot of people regret having children (or regret the timing of their arrivals), but it's quite a taboo subject.

Peter333

fairy_lights wrote: »

I'm not sure this is true. I think quite a lot of people regret having children (or regret the timing of their arrivals), but it's quite a taboo subject.

As I said, it's just my opinion, and based on my experience. I get that not everyone will agree though...

I get that a few people may regret having children, but in my honest opinion, people will be more likely to regret not having them.

As I said just my opinion.........