How much planning went into you having children?

Teacher2

We definitely planned and got the marriage, buying a house and career progression safely in hand before even thinking of children. We met in 1977 and had our first child in 1989 when I was 33. I think we would have been financially sunk without waiting and our children have benefited from our being reasonably well off (not ridiculously flush when they came along, of course, as they were very expensive).

When I read the 'Debt Free Wannabe' thread the thing I really notice is how the children contribute to penury and how they suffer from it.

sunshinegirl66

We didn't do much planning into having children but first child was stillborn at 25 weeks so devastating.Second pregnancy son born 6 and a half weeks early but okay after 3 weeks in hospital.Third pregnancy a miscarriage at 9 weeks then a healthy baby at 39 weeks and third child born @ 35 and a half weeks who is now almost 36 years old.

Aunty_T

I haven't posted for a long time but I will try as I wanted to say how I am impressed that most people do plan when to have children.
In the early 60's I was unmarried but became pregnant by chance, I did not realise how fertile I was in my late teens and our contraception was poor anyway. We married and no.1 was born, we were renting a small one bedroom flat with poor heating and very little money. Times were hard for us, though both sets of the grandparents were very supportive. Our families would reassure us that "you cannot plan for babies, they just come anyway"! This was a different age! My next baby was also unplanned, as I was going by a chart which was supposed to show me my infertile days, (because my church forbade contraception), and he came 18 months later. I now had two lovely boys, but I was so young and missed out a lot, and we were still hard up. Then hubby got a better job and we bought a house and again our contraception failed. By now I used a kind of disc which I inserted but it failed and we had a little girl 17 months later. I was 25 years old and I was so busy being a mum that I didn't have much time to think, but my contraception was by now very strict and I had ditched the religion. I have loved having the three children and now I am a granny with 4 lovely grandchildren. My life was transformed by chance and my plans for a career went overboard. But if I consider what I have done that has given my husband and me most pleasure in life it has been having the children and raising them. They were the best years of our lives.

Pollycat

^^^^ What a lovely post.

penguingirl

Aunty_T wrote: »

I haven't posted for a long time but I will try as I wanted to say how I am impressed that most people do plan when to have children.
.

Your post makes me feel very grateful for the options that women have now, that I think are so easy to take for granted. As someone who is ttc and has probably planned it in too much detail, I should feel very lucky that I have had the choices available to me and the opportunity to have a fantastic career before choosing to start a family. But most of the time I don't feel lucky, I feel entitled to it as it is easy to forget that it's not always been this way.

waspsandjam

I informally studied financial planning before kids, inspired by this forum and links to blogs and books in it.

My financial plan was; monitor spending => budget => earn more => save enough to pay off my 0% c/c debt earning interest elsewhere => overpay mortgage to get better rate => get emergency fund of 6 months essential spends i.e. mortgage and bills => invest in S&S ISA like kids arent coming and you want to retire asap.

When kids came along this gave us buffer options i.e. reduce mortgage overpayments, reduce investments, dip into savings, dip into investments, reduce work pension payments, earn more (in that order more or less). This has allowed my wife to work one day a week outside of maternity leave, me to keep a relatively low pressure job and be home every night.

I used the tools and guides on this site to look after the pennies i.e. up your income and review your finances. Kids are a whirlwind and we've had our share of bad luck but my planning has helped take money worries out of the picture. New investments are minimal at moment (although we save regularly for the kids so if we have to go without they wont have to) so my thoughts of retiring anytime soon have been put on hold until normal life re-calibrates but at least i dont have to work evenings and weekends to make ends meet (at the moment).

chloenightingale

I didn't plan very much other than I really didn't want kids in my 20s (got married at 22) and waited until I wanted kids in my early 30s. Now I'm 39 and pregnant with number 4. I'm SO glad I waited.

Anyway, other than the timing of kid number 1 and the names, I didn't really do a lot of planning.

choccy14

Planned not to have children, then a medical condition meant I had to take ill health retirement at age 30 (MS).Then after a year, decided to try. Both pregnanicies planned and happily successful.

enginesuck

I was working nightshift - she text me saying she was flushing the pills. Four weeks later she was pregnant.


Second time around we talked about it stopped the pill, three weeks later and she was pregnant again.


I was and still am the only breadwinner, both kids born into a rented home, not much money. Now we have our forever home owned. Don't worry about finances too much babies aren't all that expensive.