How much planning went into you having children?

GwylimT

First no planning, he is a child of a family member who I adopted, it was basically a case of I adopt him, or he will be adopted out of the family.

Second, we were both going to go part time when the baby was here, so for a year we both saved half our income, then became pregnant and continued saving half our income.

Third not planned.

cyantist

We planned our finances so we were in a good position to afford kids, saved for 3 years from when we got married, then started trying when we were 24. Finally conceived 10 years later. So I guess there was 15 years planning overall!

jackieblack

fairy_lights wrote: »

I'm not sure this is true. I think quite a lot of people regret having children (or regret the timing of their arrivals), but it's quite a taboo subject.

I think quite a few people, if they could have a 'do over' on their life would choose not to have children.
That's not quite the same as regretting having the children they already have.

Lunar_Eclipse

Hmm, no 'planning' but one rule for me personally: kids before 30. All to do with energy levels and statistically hopefully parenting offspring well into their adulthood.

DH & I have been together since our late teens. We graduated and moved in together, bought a house, got married, had a baby and then another.

We know loads of couples who have had issues conceiving, including those for whom children were not to be, and more who have suffered multiple miscarriages. It's not something one can plan or take for granted. I was incredibly aware and driven by this fact; age is a significant factor.

mumcoll

Originally Posted by mumcoll Third baby (still married to the same man). We decided to have another so I stopped taking the pill mid cycle and got pregnant immediately. Baby born 9 months later.


That's pretty good going, for this board :laugh:


38 years later, still married to him!

gettingtheresometime

Andrew_Ryan_89 wrote: »

Hey guys,

I am curious to know how much planning went into your decision to have or try for children, especially the first child. I always had a plan that I would get the house, get married and have children as soon as possible to "get it out of the way". Everything else I am usual quite financially sensible about and think ahead but when it comes to having children, I pretty much have the "I'll cross that bridge when I comes to it" when it comes to potential issues like house space, finance etc.

I think that attitude comes from quite a few successful women I know of that put baby-making to one side to concentrate on their career and are now regretting not having children and desperately trying to conceive.

Does this have anything to do with your thread on the employment board?

Alikay

Not much planning as such, but we were married, had our own home, albeit with a big mortgage, and both wanted children. We're both hardworking and resourceful, and had a good family who we knew wouldn't let us go hungry (not that we ever intended or needed to ask for their help) so we let nature take its course and by the time we'd been married 6 years we had 3 children.

System

Kids are not as yet on the agenda. I want my bf and i to have our own place first, whihc means paying off my debts and saving up. I'm 30 in less than a month so yes the biological clock has started ticking but right now is just the wrong time. He lives at home. I live in a shared house. i have debt. It just wouldn;t work.

I realise this means i risk not being to have children by prioritising sorting everything else out first but its such a huge decison. I envy women who get pregnant and just manage. My best friend and hs gf have baby number two on the way, they;ve both just started teacher training. Not an ideal time for many but they will make it work. For me thats not an option. Theres so many things to consider, not just job wise or housing but the fact i have bipolar and could potentially be very ill when pregnant, so for me i have to be sure everything else is perfect before i take that chance.

pollypenny

Saved like mad, married, rented for a year, continued to save. Bought a house. Started trying for a baby two years later. I took six months to conceive.

Number two three years later, also planned.

thriftyemma

Zero planning here! Six weeks after first date with OH, I was pregnant! (Ex was infertile, so I'd not had to worry about contraception for 6 years. Oops) Was not living with OH at the time, but we were so sure it would work out, we moved in together. Baby boy arrived, and we loved him and each other so much, we planned a second.

Second baby, zero financial planning. We knew we wanted a second, so I came off the pill (much more sensible about contraception this time around) and fell pregnant within 2 months of trying.

Third baby, zero planning all round. I was on the pill, but managed to fall pregnant anyway. When DD was born, DS1 was 3.5 and DS2 was 1.5yo. Bloomin hell it was tough! If I could go back and change it, I'd leave a slightly bigger gap between 2 and 3.

For us, life had a funny way of working out for the best. Before I met OH, I was sure I'd be childless and alone. OH thought the same for himself. Now, here we are, nearly 10 years later, still going strong.