How easy is it for my mum to kick my brother out?

nimbo

A six year old in a cor would be considered dangerous. Climbing out at the age could cause it to tip over.

There are serious welfare issues in what has been described. Both of the children maybe what you consider 'weird' - I'd be asking what damaged them to this point and what needs to be done to actually help them? Has the younger child always been in the cot - effectively caged in? And did the older child who you consider less weird have a period of time in their own bed in a more 'usual' household and time to develop more resilience than the younger sibling?

Yes the situation is concerning for your mother in relation to your mother keeping the house and you and your sister about remaining in the family home and the stress of the situation. But what is life like for those two children? And what is going to be done for them - because at the minute what do their prospects actually look like? How will they function when they just 16 or 18?

Andrew_Ryan_89

FBaby wrote: »

I think the best thing you can do is not get involved. You clearly have a very negative view of them, which is quite understanding, but is likely to impact on your view of the all situation.

The reality is that your mum has allowed this to happen and for that, she must have her own reasons. You can't impose your reasons on her because you think yours are right and hers are wrong.

I expect she has allowed it because this way, she gets to keep an eye on what is happening and is worried that if she kicks them out, things will be even worse for the kids. At least this way, even if they are not growing up in the best environment, it is better than what it could be.

It really is up to her (and your sister) do decide what to do in their own house. I know how frustrating if it is to witness the situation feeling helpless, but it doesn't mean that it is your responsibility to sort it out the way you think it should. Just be there for your mum if she comes to you for your support.

Thank you for the message. I have tried to distance myself from it, and have quite a lot. It's just the one thing in this world I probably hate more than anything is people taking advantage of other people. Especially kind hearted people.

I did step beg by my mum would call me pleading with me to help her, talk to my brother, take out a loan etc. She tells me how she is having severe headaches, crying and going days without sleep because of the anxiety. All of it is her fault but it's just so difficult at times when you hear my brother saying crap like "I'll only pay rent when you fix up the house" or "I'm not paying rent or moving out unless my name is on the mortgage or in your will".

thorsoak

In the first place, you should contact Social Security about your niece and nephew - they should not be living in surroundings such as you describe.

Your mother should be able to just tell your brother to go in order that she can sell the house with vacant possession.

If she is selling the house, then he does not have any security of tenancy and she may have to start eviction proceedings in order to get him out.

Guest101

Andrew_Ryan_89 wrote: »

Hi guys, - You again? Literally it's a new thing every few days.

My brother is turning 38 and has been a thorn in our side for many many years. - Who's side? He lives with my mum and sister with his girlfriend and two young children. Since he has had the children, he has literally raised them in the front room, despite their being 2 spare rooms which to this day remains unfurnished and full of rubbish. - Who's house is it?

He fails to consistently pay rent and even when he does on the odd sporadic month, it's no more than £200 (for his girlfriend and children). - What's the agreed rent? He also runs up the bills and spends money on cars rentals, numerous Apple products and other nonsense way before he buys a proper bed for his 10 year old son - His money, upto him how he spends it (they push the 2 sofas together and he shares with his mum) or refurbishes the rooms so their 6 year old daughter can stop sleeping in the same cot she was raised In. - This all sounds incredibly far fetched - given your posting history at this point, the discussion is academic.

Long story short he is a bum. Anyway, my mum is being threatened with an eviction. - a repossession* She had an interest only mortgage and the terms was up ages ago. - So the whole family is poor with money? It's went to court and the bank and permission to foreclose. - Repossess* There is a glimmer of hope as we just received a mortgage in principle from another lender but it is expensive. - Who's 'we' again? However, there is no way my mother and sister can start paying for a new mortgage with my brother still being in the house and not contributing. I told her that if the mortgage goes through she has to put her foot down and kick him out even if it means calling the police. - Or just change the locks whilst he's out, put the whole family on the street

She owns the house - Well technically the bank does and there is no official rent agreement in regards to him living there. Is it as some as him having to leave and if, or more likely when, he refuses to budge she simply calls the police?

It's a civil matter, the police could remove your mother though, if they feel a breach of the peace is likely...

Guest101

thorsoak wrote: »

In the first place, you should contact Social Security about your niece and nephew - they should not be living in surroundings such as you describe.

Your mother should be able to just tell your brother to go in order that she can sell the house with vacant possession.

If she is selling the house, then he does not have any security of tenancy and she may have to start eviction proceedings in order to get him out.

1: Social Services


2: just change the locks

Andrew_Ryan_89

Guest101 wrote: »

It's a civil matter, the police could remove your mother though, if they feel a breach of the peace is likely...

If you have nothing nice to say then don't say anything at all. Seriously, does being so smug make you feel any better about yourself?

!!!!

paddy's_mum

Andrew_Ryan_89 wrote: »

my mum would call me pleading with me to help her

She tells me how she is having severe headaches, crying and going days without sleep because of the anxiety

"I'm not paying rent or moving out unless my name is on the mortgage or in your will".

Your brother's comment (the third one above) is utterly outrageous and, unless he has helped to buy the house in the first place, morally indefensible. Such threats to the hand that feeds you and keeps the roof over your head are sick and sickening.

However, you must see that the only person on this earth who can alter the situation is your mother. Nobody else no matter how upset or hurt or angry they become on her behalf.

She has not stood up to your brother until now and, I suggest, she never will for, whatever deeply held fear or unfathomable reason.

In your shoes, what would I do? I'd be calling the authorities about the conditions those children are living in.

You cannot help your mother or your (adult?) sister if they choose not to help themselves.

I sometimes use this simile; a man is lying injured in the gutter, bleeding his life away. An off duty paramedic rushes over and kneels down in the mire to help only to be punched in the face by the 'patient'. What can the helper do? The answer of course is 'nothing' because until the patient recognises the danger and accepts the help, he will continue to bleed and if that leads to the patients death, it is the choice he knowingly made.

This is where your mother is at but until she takes control of her home, her house, her life and her future, nothing you can do will make a scrap of difference ... except damage your own life and peace of mind.

I wish I could wave a magic wand for you but sadly, I can't and what I have written above is the reality however hard it is for you to accept.

I admire your concern and wish all of you well.

Guest101

Andrew_Ryan_89 wrote: »

If you have nothing nice to say then don't say anything at all. Seriously, does being so smug make you feel any better about yourself?

!!!!

Sorry for being factually correct?

Andrew_Ryan_89

:A

Guest101 wrote: »

Sorry for being factually correct?

"Sorry for being an idiot" is what I'm looking for.

Dill

If the living conditions are as you describe, then +1 for contacting social services. There's no way a 10 year old child should be sharing a make-shift sofa with his mum and a 6 year old still be in a cot.