How much to pay boyfriend for living with him

Laconic

Oh, that is a super critical detail you really shouldn't have left out. Legally, he's a renter and you're informally lodging with him. Neither of you have equity nor entitlement to the house. His parents could sell it at any time for any reason.
If both of you are serious about starting a family, then it's time to plan around getting married and take serious legal and financial advice on buying his parent out.
They could also sell the house and give some of the proceeds ( like the appreciated value + mortgage amount paid off by their son) to pit towards a house that both of you pay for. Which would make sense if you're married.

Have a long, hard think and some very honest conversations.

sheramber

If the house os in his parents' names then you and your partner are renting it form them. You would not have any claim on something that belonged to them.

Will this document still apply when they sign the house over to him or both of you?

If the house needs done up his parents should be doing it as they are the owners.

onomatopoeia99

krlyr wrote: »

There's also the non-monetary side of things. Maybe you're saving him money on food by cooking homemade meals instead of the cost of readymeals if he was single.

Because all single men living alone exist on ready-meals and don't / won't / can't cook, but as soon as a woman move in it's delicious, moneysaving, home-cooked food all the time? In some parallel universe that some members of this forum seem to inhabit, anyway.

I live alone and cook almost every night. Occasionally I'll buy a readymade pizza from the supermarket or a takeaway if I neglected to take the meat out of the freezer to defrost ( I bulk buy, bag and freeze), but that's typically only two or three times a month. The non-cooking single male stereotype is one that's half a century out of date, but is perpetuated on here.

System

Haha! The funny thing is, he did actually live on ready meals & take away! I do cook & I frequently buy food, ingredients etc out of "my money".
However, the question I asked was should I offer to pay more a month& put money towards doing the house up (kitchen,bathroom, windows etc - I went half on decorating, redoing the garden & furniture).

paddy's_mum

No. You would instead be wiser by far to start chucking every spare penny into your savings account because, as I pointed out in an earlier response, if you have a tiny, helpless baby and this all goes pear shaped, you have no safety net of any kind.

System

We both do this already (not jointly) & have done for years as I'm lucky to have never had big bills.
I really cannot see that happening but I suppose you never know.
I get what people are saying about marriage, but to be honest I'm not really a believer of marriage (even though both of our parents are happily married still - which I know is a rare thing nowadays) & a wedding doesn't appeal at all.
Both of us are very close to our families (mine is rather large) so they would always help out if needs be, but as I said, I do have a safety net of savings.

Laconic

sez655 wrote: »

Haha! The funny thing is, he did actually live on ready meals & take away! I do cook & I frequently buy food, ingredients etc out of "my money".
However, the question I asked was should I offer to pay more a month& put money towards doing the house up (kitchen,bathroom, windows etc - I went half on decorating, redoing the garden & furniture).

Do that only if the landlords are reimbursing you in full. Keep receipts. At the present, they owe the two of you nothing. If they break their promise, you guys have no case against them. The extra money is much better off in a regular saver account. If and when they put your names on the deeds, gift you the house, sell it to you or otherwise give the both of you ownership, it'll be there available to use and if it doesn't work out, you'll be glad of the money!

krlyr

onomatopoeia99 wrote: »

Because all single men living alone exist on ready-meals and don't / won't / can't cook, but as soon as a woman move in it's delicious, moneysaving, home-cooked food all the time? In some parallel universe that some members of this forum seem to inhabit, anyway.

I live alone and cook almost every night. Occasionally I'll buy a readymade pizza from the supermarket or a takeaway if I neglected to take the meat out of the freezer to defrost ( I bulk buy, bag and freeze), but that's typically only two or three times a month. The non-cooking single male stereotype is one that's half a century out of date, but is perpetuated on here.

Nope, not saying that at all. Hence the maybe. It may be the situation (turns out it was), it may not have been - I was just pointing out one way that OP may have been contributing financially to the household in a way she might not have thought. Just a scenario I was in myself so I knew it could be a possibility, nothing to do with gender or stereotypes at all

Mojisola

sez655 wrote: »

I get what people are saying about marriage, but to be honest I'm not really a believer of marriage (even though both of our parents are happily married still - which I know is a rare thing nowadays) & a wedding doesn't appeal at all.

You can get married without having a ''wedding" - a very quick meeting at the RO is all that's legally required.

You can't "not believe in marriage" - it's out there and it's real!

It might not be for you but it does give legal and financial protections which can be very useful, especially if you have children.

Money_saving_maniac

sez655 wrote: »

I'm totally shocked at how many replies this has had! I have been at work all day & haven't got time at the moment to read all, but thank you for taking the time to reply!
I have just realised that I missed a vital piece of information! The mortgage is in his parents name (he couldn't get one because of the issues he had when his ex left) & they have quite a bit towards the deposit. They have said that when we have children they will sign the house over to "us".
And as for some of the not so nice comments about us trying for a baby, we are very happy together, and I'm am now very close to his family (his mum was cautious to start with as she didn't want him getting hurt/in financial trouble again). Both don't think anything of spending money on furniture, decorating etc & on each other. My question about the kitchen etc was because I know that will add value to the house, he has said that he would pay for it all but I feel that I'd like to help. We would love to buy a house together but as I said, he can't get a mortgage in his name & I don't earn enough.

If neither you nor he can get a mortgage there will be no 'signing it over to you', because the parents have a mortgage and so do not own it outright. Unless they are loaded and can afford to pay the mortgage off?