How much to pay boyfriend for living with him

missbiggles1

glentoran99 wrote: »

Where did she say they weren't planning on having a future together?

How about " I'll never get anything back when he sells etc."?

murraymin

Detroit
In your position I think I would be seeking legal advice from a family solicitor, perhaps with a view to drawing up a cohabitation agreement.

"When I moved in his parents took us along to a lawyer & got me to sign to say that I wasn't entitled to any money etc from the house as he had paid the mortgage for 6 years (and was previously screwed big time by an ex

This is what the OP wrote, do you think his parents would be happy with a cohabitation agreement? Seems unlikely! Her partner obviously values their opinion with more weight than the women who will be having his child.

elsien

Did you seek independent legal advice before signing this agreement?
Things have now changed and your partner need to have another conversation about this, without the parents being involved.
Although given that he'd already got a mortgage and an ex, the parents taking you both down to a solicitor appears a little infantilising.

krlyr

Definitely time for a review of your living circumstances/finances/etc., especially if you're planning a baby together. What applied to a new relationship does not apply to a couple starting a family.

Yes, fair enough for him to protect himself, but you also need to protect yourself, too. You may not be paying the mortgage, but you are contributing financially towards the household. Your boyfriend now has more money in his pocket, due to you living there, which may mean he can afford those improvements to the house - in a roundabout way, funded by you.

There's also the non-monetary side of things. Maybe you're saving him money on food by cooking homemade meals instead of the cost of readymeals if he was single. When you get your hands dirty and paint the nursery, you're contributing to home improvements, whether you bought the paint or not. Choosing furniture, finding tradesmen, etc. - it's difficult to put a value on that kind of contribution, but it shouldn't be dismissed as nothing, and your boyfriend should be acknowledging it.

Everyone will have their own opinion, some will say that as a couple, you should have 50%, some will say you get back what you put in financially (which, in regards to the mortgage, is nothing), and many variations inbetween - there's no right or wrong answer, you need to sit down with your boyfriend and decide.

Georgiegirl256

custardy wrote: »

and it was suggested they start their own thread.

Ah ok I see Knew I'd read something about a lizard.

paddy's_mum

sez655 wrote: »

trying for our first baby so then I'll be part time.

Any help, comments (not nasty)

Well, you probably won't like what I now say but it may turn out to be the single most important 'nasty' comment you'll ever hear.

WHY are you choosing to deliberately put yourself and an as yet unborn child into a position of such vulnerability?

I'm all for love and trust and hearts and roses, but we're talking common sense here and what you propose (in quite a relaxed fashion going by the tone of your opening post) is close to crazy! Where is your safety net if this all goes pear shaped?

glentoran99

missbiggles1 wrote: »

How about " I'll never get anything back when he sells etc."?

That doesn't mean they aren't planning a future together? That just means the house is his

Detroit

murraymin wrote: »

This is what the OP wrote, do you think his parents would be happy with a cohabitation agreement? Seems unlikely! Her partner obviously values their opinion with more weight than the women who will be having his child.

I don't know if his parents would be happy.

I guess that depends on whether their relationship with the OP has developed over the last year to one of trust.

I'd imagine their priority will be their sons interests, which is understandable.

However, I saw no indication in the OP that the partner would now prioritize their view over that of the OP.

PeacefulWaters

Marry him. That'll shift the dynamics!

paddy's_mum

If you do a forum search for 'kimofy' you'll find an earlier thread on a very similar subject, called 'splitting bills and rent'.

You may find it quite an informative read but it will also show you that most members did not consider that what that person did, and what you now propose, was a fair or sensible way to go on.

Good luck.