How much to pay boyfriend for living with him

Legacy_user

Hi,
I live with my boyfriend, have done for over a year.

custardy

How does this work?
He is paying the mortgage & you cover all the bills? (under the original calculation)
You are already contributing to the house as he would have bills+ the mortgage if you werent there.
IMO it cant be both ways. If work needs done on the house then either he pays it all or you look at your future together and what will happen with your finances.

missbiggles1

Why are you having a baby with someone when you don't plan on having a future together?

glentoran99

missbiggles1 wrote: »

Why are you having a baby with someone when you don't plan on having a future together?

Where did she say they weren't planning on having a future together?

pmlindyloo

Time to sit down and have a discussion.

Understandable that you signed an agreement when you first moved in as your partner was 'stung' by his ex. but now you are trying for a baby and saving together the scenario has changed.

What are you going to do when you are pregnant and not earning any money. Are you going back to work? How will you work out your finances when a baby arrives?

It is all very well your partner protecting his assets whilst you were not completed 'committed' but since you are trying for a baby then that seems committed to me.

Call me old fashioned but why not get married and protect yourself and your child for the future?

It works both ways. He could end the relationship and then your and your child would have little or no protection as regards a home.

It is rare for people to go into a relationship on equal terms financially but if you are committed to each other enough to have a baby then it is time to have a talk about finances.

usernameisvalid

You are living as a lodger and planning on having a baby with your 'landlord' ?

Does he not pay anything towards the bills ?

Georgiegirl256

sez655 wrote: »

.
We calculated at the time that the bills came in at approx 200ish. It was agreed that I pay 200 a month & put £50 into a "food allowance" which he also does. I added an extra 10 when I got a lizard so now pay 210.
We have since recalculated & the bills are now approx 310. He hasn't said anything about it, but I'm thinking of giving him more... what do you think??

I think that you shouldn't even need to ask, of course you should give him more money. You wouldn't get such a good deal anywhere else.

Also, I am getting de-ja-vu here? Wasn't there a post the other day where someone had a lizard and so payed an extra £10?

divadee

If you are planning on having a baby then you are now a family. And such that it should be a joint thing all the way. I think in the beginning it was wise for him to have security incase it all went wrong but now you are planning a child that things have changed and you need an open and honest discussion about where the family finances goes from here.

custardy

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

I think that you shouldn't even need to ask, of course you should give him more money. You wouldn't get such a good deal anywhere else.

Also, I am getting de-ja-vu here? Wasn't there a post the other day where someone had a lizard and so payed an extra £10?

and it was suggested they start their own thread.

murraymin

You are living as his tennant and yet will pay a considerable sum on house improvements on a home that you will have no stake in, you also pay most of not all of the household bills and still have no security. Your partner and his parents obviously do not view you as an equal nor part of their family.

The only way to remedy this would be to sell up and move into a property where you are both named on the mortgage and both contribute equally to that and the household bills. He's taking you for a ride at the moment.

Detroit

If you are trying for a baby together, I'm assuming you've decided you're going to be life partners?

This is a different situation from the one you entered when you moved in, when there was a clearly some caution around whether it would last, hence the parents protecting the house.

Given this change, I would be having a rethink about the whole situation, as in your position I would not be wanting to have a child with such tenuous rights to my home.

At present, your position is really that of a lodger who pays board.
Your partner could ask you to leave at anytime, and at a time when other people, including your partner are building equity in a property, you are not.

When you are responsible for a child, you will need to know that you will be financially supported during any period your earnings are reduced due to pregnancy and childcare, and that you have security regarding where you live.

There are many ways of organising finances in a relationship, from complete independence to everything shared, and you will need to agree on one that is fair to you both, preferably before you become pregnant.

At the moment your contributions to the bills give you no rights to the house. However if you start to pay for, or towards, improvements provided you evidence your contributions, you will establish rights.

In your position I think I would be seeking legal advice from a family solicitor, perhaps with a view to drawing up a cohabitation agreement.

CAB can sometimes refer you for a free fixed time appointment with a solicitor.