How much to pay boyfriend for living with him

unforeseen

murraymin wrote: »

He's taking you for a ride at the moment.

Well they are trying for a baby so that is understandable :rotfl:

FBaby

So was the baby an accident? Or did you take time to discuss having a baby, but didn't include in that discussion what it would mean in terms of commitment, leading to discussion on finances?

Time and time again we get threads when people get together, move in together, buy together, make babies together and seem to have had no discussion about the implication of these on their relationship and their financial matter. I find this very odd!

fierystormcloud

glentoran99 wrote: »

That doesn't mean they aren't planning a future together? That just means the house is his

This "what's mine is mine and what's yours is yours" train of thought never ends well. I know several couples - 2 who have been together 10+ years - who have individual money (even though one earns a lot more in both cases,) and it's a recipe for disaster... for the lower earner anyway.

PeacefulWaters wrote: »

Marry him. That'll shift the dynamics!

Heck yeah. If I'm good enough to be the mother of his child, I'm good enough to marry! Stay together with separate bank accounts, separate money, and unmarried, and you're nothing more than flatmates IMO.

paddy's_mum

One could ask how much he (and his parents) are prepared to pay you for the use of your 'incubator' and 'hatchery'.

What's the going rate for a surrogate pregnancy nowadays and then add on the costs of childrearing for 18 years.

fierystormcloud

FBaby wrote: »

So was the baby an accident? Or did you take time to discuss having a baby, but didn't include in that discussion what it would mean in terms of commitment, leading to discussion on finances?

Time and time again we get threads when people get together, move in together, buy together, make babies together and seem to have had no discussion about the implication of these on their relationship and their financial matter. I find this very odd!

A surprising amount of people do this, and these same people often seem to have very little in common. Some 'couples' don't even know their partner's mother's maiden name, their partners place of birth, what music they like, what their all time fave film is, or what their hopes and fears are etc...

It's terrifying to think they make babies together, when they communicate so little, and have very little in common.

annandale

They don't have a baby. They are trying for one.

Marvel1

annandale wrote: »

They don't have a baby. They are trying for one.

Thhat's a sigh of relieve, now they should get talking about the finance side of things (protect herself) before it happens.

System

I'm totally shocked at how many replies this has had! I have been at work all day & haven't got time at the moment to read all, but thank you for taking the time to reply!
I have just realised that I missed a vital piece of information! The mortgage is in his parents name (he couldn't get one because of the issues he had when his ex left) & they have quite a bit towards the deposit. They have said that when we have children they will sign the house over to "us".
And as for some of the not so nice comments about us trying for a baby, we are very happy together, and I'm am now very close to his family (his mum was cautious to start with as she didn't want him getting hurt/in financial trouble again). Both don't think anything of spending money on furniture, decorating etc & on each other. My question about the kitchen etc was because I know that will add value to the house, he has said that he would pay for it all but I feel that I'd like to help. We would love to buy a house together but as I said, he can't get a mortgage in his name & I don't earn enough.

sooty&sweep

Hi

If your relationship is serious then you need to stop thinking mine & yours and start thinking ours.
Jen xxx

System

Thanks!
It's hard for both of us, I've also had an issue with an ex & money. I am not keen on having a joint account as I did this before & my exs credit rating really affected mine & due to my OH's credit I'm sure it would happen again. However we both know it will all change when we have a child & as I previously said we do spend money on things for each other all the time & don't think anything of it.
As it is I am actually in a good place financially as the £210 & £50 is my ONLY monthly "bill"! My only other thing is my car but as I save so much I always pay my tax & insurance for the year.