22 Foxhole East

VintageHistorian

Sorry to hear about DS1. I suspect there will be quite a few others in his position, after 2 years of lockdowns and disrupted education his year group really were thrown in the deep end and I think some universities have done better at support than others.

slm6002

Sorry to hear about DS1, maybe it will warn DS2,3 & 4 what can happen.  I hope DS1 finds something he likes quickly

Orangetoes

Hope DS1 finds something he enjoys. A hard lesson to learn. 

Cornish_mum

Poor DS1 that’s tough for him. Take care CM

f0xh0les

Well in the whole house selling palaver, not a lot has occurred, which is surprising as all that is left to do is for me to sign on the dotted line, the only problem being I am over here and they are over there.  The buyer says he has signed and his sols have sent the document over but my (shoddy awful) solicitor says they have received nothing as yet and are denying all knowledge. 

So rang the 80+ inheritance club to let them know it should all be tied up with a shiny bow soon. S/G's sister has had some bad luck, her 92 yr old partner had a heart attack and spent a week in hospital, he was released on Sunday night back home.  she  has just been found to have arrhythmia. 

DS1 is still hiding in his bedroom on his computer  - probably why he is not able to go back to uni.  

There is a jobs fair on here on Thursday in the city centre so will drag him to that.  DH still wants to throw him out.. but I told him if he is left to his own devices he simply will not get a job.  I do not like this....at.....all.  Mind you I was desperate to escape my parents!! DH was the same.  There was no way we were ever going to go back once we had our freedom!  I left uni on the Friday and had an awful temp  job in a factory on the Monday, did that for 14 days so I had enough to pay the rent, while the agency looked for a better job for me.

I do not understand the motivation to do nothing, to not help out, to hide, to pretend to be a helpless child and think it is funny.  He is going to be 20 in less than 8 weeks. He needs to flippin' grow the flip up and take responsibility. Rant over.  

Going to go shopping in a bit to buy lots of sandwich fillers so they do not starve to death while I am working next week. 

There was a spot of rain yesterday, but nothing overnight, the heat is rising to an uncomfortable level again. 

Just waiting on the postman, and then I will go and raid the ys section now we fixed the freezer with thermo plastic -  I defrosted it and DH  remade the plastic tabs that held the freezy  metal shelf in place.  Cost £0 as he had the bits to do it in the house already.

I am horribly aware of waiting for the solicitor - she is just going to email me and ask me to drop into the office and sign the paperwork.  Even though I have reminded her 4 times that  I do not live in her country and I will need a bit of notice to be able to get over there.  We are due to complete on Monday.

Suffolksue

Really sorry to hear about DS 
Do you think maybe he is very shocked and doesn’t know what to do ?
My grandson has just mucked up his first A level year and is starting again with different subjects 
I’m sure he isn’t suited to a levels so foresee the same thing next year 

Does he know what he wants to do work wise ?

greenbee

Your solicitor sounds about as useless as my estate agent. I've never used a local solicitor - they should be able to send the documents to you recorded delivery in time for you to sign and get them back to them. Or use something like docusign which gives you a legally binding electronic signature (which is what my current solicitor is using, and what I use for work contracts that involve larger sums that my house sale/purchase!). 

Good luck with DS1. Maybe home is too comfortable right now - you and DH are clearly nicer than your parents, or it's easier for him to switch off! As he's not at uni or working maybe you should tell him that he has to fund his board & lodging somehow, and that until he's working full time you have a list of things he has to do around the house as well as part of his contribution to the household. Board etc can start off low and increase as he earns and his jobs list reduces. You can always save the money for him, but at least it will focus his mind.

f0xh0les

Thank you all for your concern about DS1 - he is a lazy swine who did not have anyone chasing him to get up, or nagging him to do the work, but  expects the world to revolve around him.  His gravitational pull however is lacking

I cannot fault my Estate Agent, she is fab, the whole  EA office is fab.  They have already invoiced the solicitors for the house sale. That is how confident they are that it will go through.  From the solicitors - .......tumbleweed rolls slowly across the screen.

DS1 is entirely too comfortable.  He knows he is expected to pay board and lodging when he is earning - at 50% of post tax wages.  So at 7am I signed him up to the NEET under 24's job finding site with his email and his phone number and a request for a callback. Ho ho ho.  Let him field the calls and emails!  I keep telling myself I am only trying to be helpful d   but I feel there is probably a healthy dose of in there.

greenbee

I think some hoovering and ironing need to be on the list of DS1 to do today. Maybe cleaning the loos and bathrooms as well? Find him the most unpleasant jobs you can and be mean about breaks. I was also required to do volunteering while I was job hunting, so maybe get him helping at the food bank? Finding ways to motivate him is helpful. It might also help you avoid being frustrated and annoyed. And maybe stop DH chucking him out on the street.

greent

Also sorry to hear about DS1 - and definitely agree that he can be doing chores in the meantime - that's what I had DD doing when job hunting  - and what I'll get DS1 doing when he's finished gos didmssertation (am not convinced he's doing much job hunting or work in his dissertation right now .. 🙄) - laundry, vacuuming, dishwasher, bathroom cleaning, polishing, gardening..... 😁