22 Foxhole East

VintageHistorian

Safe travels f0xh0les.

teapot2

Sorry to hear the news re stepgran, safe journeys and take care of yourself.

Cornish_mum

So sorry to hear this foxholes, I hope  you are having a safe journey; take care CM

greent

Sorry to hear about SG xx

Legs21

Sorry to hear about StepGran. Take care xx

apple_muncher

Have some more hugs, f0xh0les xx

Orangetoes

Sorry to hear that. Take care x 

maggiem

Thinking of you, hope all is as ok as it can be. 

f0xh0les

Hey I'm back!

Step gran hung on in there regaining consciousness for a week - although she had suffered oxygen deprivation, it was obvious to anyone who knew her she was missing the last 20 years, but apparently not to the medical staff (don't even start me on that particular subject) . Anyway, she lasted another week, and  were about to transfer her to the general ward because she was stable, when she had another heart attack in her sleep, was found unconscious and died 45 minutes later..  She did not suffer, she was in no pain, it was a good death.  She would have known nothing at all about it.  I was called at 4.30am, jumped into my clothes, ran out of the house to a hard frost (and a borrowed car - the neighbours were so kind, they have known me since I was 4 years old and provided me with car to get to the hospital and back the day after I arrived ).  At 4.45am  I was using DS1s library card as a scraper, trying to de-ice the car, and the stars were beautiful and amazing.  I knew she would be dead before I got to the hospital, and she died 5 minutes before I got there.

 So I have been  taking care of what is left of her legacy.  Her funeral was fab, if I do say so myself, her friends had a good time in a room in a local hotel with a buffet, and a couple of photo albums from when she was not an old lady, and she looked happy - I was in the local garage at 8am on the day of the funeral buying pritt stick as  I only found pictures of her at 10pm the night before.  

The funeral home was full, the sun shone on the graveside, the wake was good and more of a celebration of life than an expression of loss.  Then started the business of her will - it was not anything like what she had told people she had done.  A straight 3 way split between her 2 siblings and me - both siblings are over 80, in different countries, and with no kids. They did not come to the funeral, and cannot return to help in any way. 

So I am having to clear the house, dress the house,  put it up for sale, and then remove all the furniture when sale agreed. 

I was over there for 3 weeks, one in the hospital, one arranging the funeral, and one shredding paperwork and sending all her clothes to charity shops, and I have come back home for a spot of sanity, a good rest, and to get away from a constantly ringing phone. People are lovely, but you need a bit of space sometimes.  I felt awful declining dinner invitations, but there was so much to be doing, sorting all her personal things, disposing of most of them, making sure anything reusable could be reused, and nothing was going into the bin that could be salvaged.

I am going to drive over again after next week (DH is away Thurs-Sun next week)  and do a few maintenance jobs on the house, and arrange to meet some estate agents and get it on the market asap.  A neighbour is lending me bed bases to dress the bedrooms the way they should be, and I will take some neutral coloured duvet covers and some air mattresses  and bedside lamps Then choose an estate agent, get photos taken, and get it on t'interweb and in the paper and sold so that the 80 year olds can spend some money while they can still enjoy it.   One is in good health, the other has dementia.  Houses are selling quite quickly over there.  It is a good house with a massive greenhouse, a workshop, and a big garden. It is also a bungalow, perfectly adapted for anyone with mobility issues or in a wheelchair.  It is pretty future proof.

 Hopefully I will be back by the May Day bank holiday, which is also my wedding anniversary.

There are some people very annoyed with step-gran about her will, but  I told them 1/3rd of something is better than 100% of nothing, and after all it was her property, and hers and only hers to do with whatever she flippin' well wanted to. 

So I  still have to get her gravestone engraved, her house ready for sale, and then get on with being The Executrix of her will.  The will is 12 years old.  The people she has made cash bequests on she had fallen out with all but one of them

 So that will be fun!  They had no time for her in life, but were quick to turn up with a bunch of flowers and a hanky once she was dead.

I inherited all her possessions (she knew I would have to clear the house anyway) so after the will was read, I gave away her whole 4ndrex toilet tissue stash. I found 12 x 18 packs of toilet tissue hidden around the house.  Nobody came to the door without leaving with bog roll. I made an igloo out of it next to the back door, so when people came and saw it, and said what the heck is all that?? I made them take at least one with them, same with tins of shortbread, boxes of biscuits, boxes of chocolates, kitchen towel,  and to another friend I gave her condensor dryer, that had lived in the garage.

I should come away with enough to pay off my mortgage, and fix the roof.  It cannot be sniffed at, nor will it be.  I will execute my executrix duties to the best of my abilities and in a speedy fashion.  Hopefully all done and dusted by the time the Summer Holidays come round.

greent

Sorry to hear about SG - not unexpected, though. I'm glad she went without suffering and that the funeral was good.

Make sure that you charge everything estate related to the estate before splitting it - including your travel costs etc. After all, it is you who is doing all the hard work in dealing with the estate and such costs are a legitimate estate expense. And also make sure you take some down time for you - she may have been old and it not a surprise, but a death is still a toll on those left behind x