Project Mortgage Neutral Begins

ajmoney

I set myself up to start my learning and I can't access any of the links so I have done the required reading and emailed the tutor to ask if there is another way, maybe I should have looked earlier than the day the course starts!  I have 50 minutes until a work meeting so I am going to read my book instead of launching into anything else.

ajmoney

All work done (hopefully) for the weekend, training for tonight complete and now it is raining really heavily again right as I was going to go for a walk.  I know how much being outside helps me normally but in that...really?!  Time to put my big girl pants on and full waterproofs over the top and force myself out.

savingholmes

Sounds an interesting course. Stretching exercises are good too. 

ajmoney

The guy that is delivering our training on a Friday night comes across in a really good way for the subject matter (mental health).  The only thing a couple of us found is it is a sensitive, tough subject and at the end the z00m meeting just ended with no chance for a chat to make sure everyone was ok.  I suspect by a couple of the private messages that were sent afterwards that might change next week. 

Back to the weekend, I have a walk with a friend today and a family catch up online tomorrow but I am still not a fan.  If the rain stops for a short time I might try and do something in the garden as it looks like weeds might already be starting to sprout!

ajmoney

I feel very lazy, I am still in my pyjamas trying to finish this submission for last week's course.  I have nearly finished the first part although I think one development area has the wrong angle to it.  I need to complete the action plan that goes with it, finish a couple of bits in the first bit and write another scenario in case I have got the angle wrong.  I have sent an email to the course tutor ready for her to pick up next week asking my queries so hopefully that will come back to me fairly quickly and give me the chance to rectify and submit my work before potentially having to go away with work.

4 hours until I have to be anywhere so plenty of time.

ajmoney

I had a go at saying no without an explanation this morning.  I was going round in circles with what I going to say as to why I didn't want to do something and I realised it was easier just to say no and hopefully we would get the chance some time soon (I am happy to do it but not now).  It must be a day for it as I had a bit of a light bulb moment while I was washing up tonight, I am really not a fan of conflict and will do anything to avoid including not voicing my opinion/saying no.  However I have realised by trying not to make anyone else feel uncomfortable I am sometimes diverting the conflict inside me.  I am not sure it will necessarily help me straight away but hopefully knowing will be a good reminder and an incentive to be true to myself. 

I enjoyed my walk earlier even if it was in the rain, I wouldn't have spent a slong outside on my own.  It gave a bit of light to a shady day with far too much quiet.  It has helped me settle on my valentine's day meal to myself though, mussels

And seeing as this should be a money related thread - today is the first day so far this month that it has been a NSD.

savingholmes

Well done on the course and NSD. Good to have got a walk in. It's rainy here so not been anywhere today.

edinburgher

@ajmoney - it might sound trite - but you could consider sending yourself a Valentine's card? Focus on some strengths and achievements of the last year 👍

ajmoney

edinburgher said:

@ajmoney - it might sound trite - but you could consider sending yourself a Valentine's card? Focus on some strengths and achievements of the last year 👍

Maybe a letter to remind myself why I am where I am and the reasons for my decisions along the way. 

In all honesty I am struggling quite a lot and unsure how to get past this impasse.  The growth I had over the Christmas period and at the beginning of the year has slowed and while there is still development going on in my mind I feel very stuck and wonder if I need help again to find a way through.  I am lucky to have people keeping an eye out for me but I don't feel I can burden anyone with getting all of this out of my system, I suspect today's journal entry could be a very long one.

edinburgher

Who helped last time you got "stuck"?