Bereft and Broken

Smolly

I'm here!!!!

So sorry everyone for my absence - Thistle, ada, EH and EM thank you for checking up on me. And welcome jvr - so happy to have you along on my journey. Lovely comments thank you very much! x

Afraid I had a small crash and burn moment which lasted a few days! Nothing quite so bad as I've had before but I've been suffering with extreme tiredness which has been hitting me like a brick in the middle of the afternoons. I've been fine at getting up in the mornings, and fine getting all my little jobs done, on to work and then coming home and picking up DS from school....and then I lose all steam. The OH hasn't helped much this week and today particularly he's been a right pain in the derriere so this hasn't helped one bit. I've learnt not to try and carry on when I feel like this - I've just been giving in and going to bed. Some days it's just been half an hour, others a couple of hours and then there one day when I disappeared at 6 just to reappear completely fine the following morning.

There is so much stuff going on in my head - it sometimes feels as if I'm carrying a load of other people's thoughts around with me as well as my own. One thing I've found I can't do when I'm like that is own up to the fact to others. I just need to hibernate until I can come out of it. Many many times I wanted to come on here and catch up but by the time it got to the evening when I usually post I was usually already in bed! For me as well this time of year is really pants. It's coming up to Dad's birthday and Christmas for me now is just another day I want out of the way quickly as I miss him so much. It's only because of DS that I even think about doing anything.

So here I am but afraid I have to dash as I have a few things I really must catch up but I really did want to check in - thank you all for coming on here and checking on me. I love my new virtual friends!!! When I come back I promise I do have news to catch up on.

Take care everyone - hope you are all ok and long live the nanna nap! :rotfl: xx

ada-or-ardor

It's so nice to hear from you Smolly! No worries if you don't have the energy - physical or mental - to update us all on things. As long as you know you can come here for a judgment-free release anytime, then you can share as much or as little as you want. I forgot, have you made it for any counselling at all, to try and ease some of the stuff going through your head?

I feel your pain regarding this time of year - I lost my mum 8 years ago and times like this, when you're being fed messages of family and all that; it gets so hard. It's awful, and all I can say to you is that the bad moments don't get easier, but they get fewer and further between, and eventually some happy memories start to surface and pop up alongside the bad moments....

I'm sorry if I'm being morbid... Today we have just decided that we are going to put one of our cats to sleep in a week. He is only little, but was diagnosed with severe heart disease earlier this year and he's not responding to the treatment, and we just don't want him to suffer anymore or to wait for what will be a horrific natural death. It's so heart-breaking; he's so cute and loving and only 5 years old. It's such a waste.

Best wishes to all, hope everyone's having a nice weekend. I'm about to attack some ironing with some comedy on to try and cheer me up! xx

Smolly

Thank you ada x I'm so sorry to hear about your cat. Animals play such a huge part in our lives. We have only had our pup a few weeks now but I couldn't bear the thought of losing him.

The next week will be difficult for you but you have made a strong decision - not an easy one to make but one which is best for little puss. Take care xx

I too have been watching a bit of comedy while I write my reports up. One down one to go...but now I see that the OH has switched the TV over to flaming darts!!

OK I really need to get going and write that last report. I then have to prepare for a mystery shop tomorrow - a new one for me. I get to rummage in a supermarket's stock room and start rearranging shelves. With authorisation of course! I'll not be the local nutter running amok through the supermarket with security hot on my heels!

xx

ERICS_MUM

Oh Ada I'm so sorry to hear about your little cat. My cat Eric (yes, I'm named after him !) turned 19 in Oct so I know we have limited time but at the mo he is a happy little soul and I love him to bits.

Give your little one lots of cuddles. You will always remember him.

Thistle-down

I'm glad you're back Smolly

Ada, I'm so sorry about your cat. I've had two dogs put to sleep before their time due to health reasons. It's almost worse than putting them down because of old age, I was never sure I was doing the right thing, even though I obviously was. Just think that your cat has had the best possible home for the time they were here and will live on in your heart.

It's the Xmas market here today so I'm off to see if I can earn a few pounds busking. It's not super cold but cold enough, I'm hoping I won't lose the feeling in my fingers and can play for at least an hour or two. I have fingerless gloves but it's the ends of my fingers that I need to keep warm.

Smolly

Hi ladies!

You lot have bullied me enough - here is the new diary:

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/5564006

Take care all xx