Bereft and Broken

EssexHebridean

CLL - brilliant abbreviation Thistle! :T

Smolly it's SO fab to hear you sounding so relaxed - I have to confess that the thought of a massage is my personal idea of hell, but each to their own and clearly it agrees with you! As Thistle says though - as much as anything just doing something that's just for you - makes all the difference!

The question of spending money once your priorities change from clearing debt is an interesting one, and something I've been thinking about a lot lately. We've taken the decision to maintain a fairly frugal lifestyle in a lot of ways - buying organic food doesn't interest me in the least, so largely speaking we're currently continuing roughly as we were on the groceries front - but will be factoring in more things like fish and seafood, which we love. We've always bought free range eggs and chicken, and British meat in any event, as the welfare thing bothers us (and honestly - the "happy" stuff DOES taste better! One thing we HAVE changed a bit is focusing on the "quality of life" stuff - we if we go away for a weekend we're looking at nicer hotels rather than just going with a cheap travelodge, that sort of thing. Having said that, we still use the tent a lot in the warmer weather, simply because we enjoy it! A lot of it comes down to working out what will make the most difference to YOU I think - otherwise our feeling has been that we may as well carry on as we are. The car-washing thing though - I'll be back to using the jetwash and ditching my bucket and sponges, I can tell you that much! :rotfl:

Smolly

Thank you Thistle and EH for popping by!

I too used to get free massages Thistle from a friend who was training - fortunately she was my landlady at the time so I didn't have far to go to the 'treatment room'. A couple of her friends were also doing the training too so I became their guinea pig on occasions - that was a good time!

I've had a few massages in the past - in fact there was a time in my life when I could afford one every week. I lived with the most awful person ever and for my own sanity I used to head off up the road to a local hotel where a lovely lady did beauty treatments until about 10pm at night. We became quite good friends and I loved my treatments. Fortunately I saw the light with the idiot I was living with and ditched him, and I sorely missed my treatments after!

I think I will ask for vouchers for Christmas/Birthdays in future for more treatments. I'm amazed at how relaxed my shoulders feel after the pummeling they got.

Your list of things got me thinking Thistle. I was surprised at myself when reading it that I don't ever think of stuff like that anymore. I used to when I had money - I wouldn't think twice about paying out for whatever and dreaming about the next luxury handbag (how shallow!) but now I spend my days dreaming about paying off my debts and hoping the car will get through another day.

I'm sure however a few more months down the line of living like I have been doing these past few days will start to wear a little thin and I'll be making up my own list of things I want as standard! I fear now though that I may crave a few more massages!

The CLL was ok today - no major upset but then after a big blow up like on Friday she usually is ok for a few days and then just reverts back to normal.

Not much else to report - eBay sales were goodish yesterday. In fact DS made more than me! I desperately need the money after my shortfall due to paying out the yearly car insurance and not getting my MS money until the end of the month. I am counting the days down to payday - another 14 long days to go!

Hope everyone is well. Still got a very long list of things to do and it's already 9.36pm! xx

Thistle-down

I am very much like you Smolly, those kinds of things rarely enter my head now. The dresser was the last "thing" I wanted, other than that, my focus is on paying the rent and bills. Aside from the free massages, I've never had the other things on a regular basis. I suppose they'd lose some of their specialness if they became the norm, except for the messages. They are always a huge treat - I could have one every day and not get tired of them. I do have friends who do all of that as part of their everyday life and I shudder to think what it costs them each month. :eek:

I'd ask for vouchers too but after my bottle of shampoo gift, I shudder to think what I'd actually get. Probably something like a .99p off voucher for something I couldn't afford anyway... though to be fair if it was from DH it would be something really good, he's a very thoughtful like that. We've made a deal though that we no longer buy gifts for each other, anything we do spend will be on the kids.

I've had a few very disappointing ebay sales. Some of the things are almost being given away, but if I start an auction at .99p, I need to be prepared to let it go for .99p. It's awful when it's something that I was hoping to sell for over £20, but that's the chance you take, and there have been plenty of things that went for really high prices when I wasn't expecting it. I suppose it all evens out, and at least it's out of the house...

I hope the CLL stays far away today!

EssexHebridean

Morning Ladies! :hello:

My "want list" mostly consists of camera gear these days - and by its very nature that stuff ain't cheap. However, the good thing about this is that the lure of wanting it is usually strong enough to ensure that going without to save up doesn't feel like TOO much of a chore! That's one thing where life does change once you get past the paying off debt stage - that feeling of your money being your own is pretty brilliant, although it almost becomes hard to spend, in some ways, as you're kind of conditioned out of it!

Smolly

Hi ladies - hope you are both well.

Where are the days going? They're speeding by and I would love for them to just slow down a little as I can't keep up!!

I have lots of important letters to write and I keep procrastinating for some reason over doing them. If I write them it's to try and claim money back for various things so why am I delaying doing this? I just don't get it. Tonight for instance I've been working up to doing one particular letter and so far I've checked Am@zon, 3Bay, Mystery Shop sites, and ooh yes - MSE to catch up on diaries! I must do it though - I can't keep putting it off it's stupid.

The CLL is in more trouble. She is absolutely useless, a right pain in the backside and lazy. Think I will call her the CLLL from now on! The two other ladies I work with have said that since I came back all she has done is bully me. I don't know if she always realises she's doing it. Just today she was doing a job which I had managed yesterday to do without any trouble, but today she felt she ought to order me around and get me to do it for her. I just walked away. That wasn't all she did but she is getting boring now.

Keep up with the 3Bay listings if you can Thistle. Those 99p sales do add up and like you said - it does all seem to even out. I've had a few sales recently where things have doubled in price but I still get the few bits which go for 99p.

I'm at a stage now where my debts can't increase anymore and they can only go down. I've had a few extra bits of money coming in from mystery shops so what I really need to do now is some sort of a budget so that the extra money goes towards something it needs to go to, rather than just being frittered away. I've heard loads of good things about YNAB but I don't think I want to go down that route as I can't really afford it. I know it's all about making every pound work for you or something like that but I think I'm just going to have to stick with a pen and paper for my budgeting! Does anyone know of any free apps please that do a similar job?

Thistle I can't wait to hear what you get for Christmas this year! It might be the conditioner to go with the shampoo!

EH if I ever get to the stage where I have paid off all of my debt I will be spending my money no doubt on things like walking and hearing aids and velcro fastening slippers!

Anyway I must go - that letter won't write itself. No doubt I'll find something terribly interesting to read on F@ceb00k before I leave...

Night all xx

[Deleted User]

Hi Smolly,

The lady at work sounds very toxic, well done for walking away, hate people who take the P!

Your debts will go down, you're very determined

Good luck with the letter writing x

Thistle-down

Did you get your letters written?

I am concentrating entirely on getting things out of the house at the moment, so I know you are right, even the .99p sales will be worth it just to get rid. I can't wait for the day when the dining room is clean and I can walk through without tripping on something. It should be finished sometime in the next week or so. If I am brave enough I'll put up before and after pics, but the before pics are really shocking so I might not...

I'm going to keep using my already downloaded version of YNAB for the moment, and not pay the newer version monthly sub. I'm not 100% about using it yet, parts of it are still confusing me. I don't know of any free programs out there, but if you go to the advanced search here and put 'free budgeting' in a title only search, there are some that come up. I'm sure there is something out there to help, and if it's better and easier than YNAB, I'll switch over.

I hope you've had a good day. How was CLL today?

Thistle-down

Have a look at this Smolly, it's a free download of Microsoft money. It's an old program, but a lot of people say it works just fine. There are two versions here, the first one says "Microsoft Money 2005 UK – QFE2 (UK)", the other version is for the USA.

http://blog.garethjmsaunders.co.uk/2011/11/27/download-microsoft-money-2005-for-free/

I've just installed it and don't have much time to play around with it tonight, but if it's easier to use than YNAB, I will eventually switch over.

ada-or-ardor

Hi there simply - I'm activating an old MSE account that I haven't used in an age! I am a long time lurker and find people's stories very inspiring, and firstly I wanted to say that your story seems to be, ironically, a good one so far. The transformation you have been through is quite incredible, and as a stranger on the tinterweb, I hope it continues that way.

I think it's lovely that you are giving all DSs sales straight to him. I think it's lovely that you want to do the food bank advent idea. With this latter one though, I wonder if considering your situation it might be better to be a bit selfish, and keep the food for yourself... what else will you serve that 7.5kg of chicken with?!? It's a lovely sentiment and shows what a kind and considerate person you are, though :-)

Now finally, I would have just lurked and never posted but you asked about a free budgeting app and I have just started using one that I'd love to recommend you, so you don't have to pay for YNAB. It's basically based on the old envelope system, so you take your pay at the start of the month and then you set up different envelopes that you fill each time you get paid or receive any income. So you might have envelope for food; an envelope for car; an envelope for emergencies, for socialising, for up-coming essential bills you know you have to ear mark (like bloody annual insurance...!). And then you fill each envelope with the required funds. Easy. It's not linked to your bank - its just about keeping within a budget. So let's say you earn £100 and then £10 from eBay. You add that £110 as income. You fill you car envelope with £20 because thats how much you spend on petrol, and fill food with £50, and socialising with £10. Then, every transaction you make you add in manually and allocate to an envelope. The idea is two-fold: you can check, right before making a (non-essential) transaction and see "how much of my money in this envelope will I use up - is it worth it. Can I even afford it?". And to give you real insight into what youre actually spending (for me it all goes on lunch at work and meals out... I'm a foodie!). You can move money around so if you end up needing more petrol money, but have some left over in socialising and have no plans between then and pay day, just move the money that way. I have loved using it, it was just what I was looking for. It forces you to look at your budget regularly, but its nice to see a little left over at the end of the month and pop it in an emergency fund, or carry it over to an envelope the following month to make things easier. I hope you find it useful. It's called g00dbudg3t and should be on the play store or apple store. You just need to sit at the start of a month and work out your own budget, but that's the fun part of taking control of your finances right?? And they have some good introductory videos on the web site (there's also a desktop version that syncs with your phone, so you can play around on your phone or when youre doing your listings!!

Oh! I also wanted to say you have a fantastic writing style, very entertaining; maybe some money making could be blogging your journey or talking about your 3baying and host some affiliate ads. You really do have an engaging voice that is wasted here on MSE - but I mean that in the nicest possible way!!!:rotfl:

I really do hope things carry on well - I don't come on here often but felt compelled to reach out to you and wish you the best of luck with your journey. With how far you've come already, ive no doubt you're going to smash this thing one pound at a time.

Warm wishes x

ada-or-ardor

Ps my autocorrect is so annoying and it corrected your name to 'simply'... I wasn't being rude!!! ;-)