Problem with a dating agency… Please heeelp!!!!

pathtofreedom

What are your expectations? Do you just want your money back or what are you trying to get out of this? When you first signed up what was your imagined outcome exactly? Did you think you'd have dates with 5/10/30 people and second dates with a % of those, or were you imagining 1 date and soul mates and marriage by Christmas.

There are lots of sayings about trying to hard with love, and if you stop trying you find someone. It sounds to me you're treating this more like a work type project than finding friends and hopefully love. The two things in the majority of the uk at least don't really work that way.

The reason I think they said don't spend too long just doing phone calls is, you can get on with someone ok on the phone, but like I think you were trying to say if you don't have that spark or attraction when you meet you're wasting both your time.

Being picky about someone being 37 instead of 36 I think is a bit ridiculous, as well as only really wanting 25 year olds. Is this because you want children, if so in what time frame exactly, as again love doesn't really work that way a lot of the time. You don't go on 10 dates, get married have kids that quickly, not unless you're head over heels and if you're approaching this more like a project and picking at flaws (1-12 months too old) then you're risking missing out on seeing the real person in front of you who might have been "the one".

For full disclosure I am a 38 years old, disabled, single, workaholic and a big part of the reason I'm still single is I haven't had the time to go dating, or just be with people outside of work much. In a way I get the "same level" comments, just that the person I'd like to meet I'd want to be clever, but that doesn't have to mean academically as exams and job titles aren't always a good indicator of a persons personality and true character. Looks too can fade, people get sick, fat, or are infertile (if children are a big thing for you) which you can't tell by looking at someone in front of you for 1 date how their future will turn out. The same way you can't look in the mirror and know your own future.

So what do you want? Not what sort of woman, eg 25, skinny, brown hair or whatever, but what are you looking for with this relationship? As if it is marriage tomorrow I doubt you'd find many 25 year olds who'd want that, especially not to get sprogged up right away. So try and be more open to the people you meet every day around you, see what sort of personalities you like, what things interest you? Do you want to travel, do you want to buy a house in the country and never move again, do you like to keep learning new things, or would you rather never read another book again? all these sorts of questions are more important than if a person is 36 or 37 and also at your age, the answers you give to those questions today might be completely different in 5/10/20 years as people change for all sorts of reasons.

So you have two choices as I see it, do as others have suggested, read the t's and c's and talk to the cab to see if you can try and get a refund of some sort. Or have a good long look in the mirror and think about what you are doing this for, and what you expect from it so you have any chance of the next person you're introduced to having a fair shot. Otherwise you'll be projecting your list of wants onto this person when you meet them, and even if they were your dream women you might not be able to see it, as you'll be seeing your perception of them and not the reality. They will no doubt be as nervous about meeting you as you are them the first few times, it takes a while to get to know some people, so keep an open mind and you might surprise yourself.

Pollycat

You have no evidence.
My advice is to forget it and move on.

Paying a solicitor will just be throwing good money after bad.

NBLondon

pathtofreedom wrote: »

So you have two choices as I see it, do as others have suggested, read the t's and c's and talk to the cab to see if you can try and get a refund of some sort.

I'd expect that an agency that can charge that sort of fee (and get mugs to pay it up front) will have had them written very carefully. They can guarantee the minimum levels of contact with the PA and possibly that they will send you details of X possibly suitable people in the first 3 months. But they can't guarantee anything else and they'd be idiots if they did.


The OP needs a good hard think about why they are doing down this route and what they can reasonably expect as well as what they have to offer in return.

FBaby

You've wasted enough money already through false belief that paying for any expensive service would get you what you want. Don't make that mistake again.

carefullycautious

I am afraid you are looking for something that does not exist and paying through the nose for it. Rich pickings for the dating agency methinks

meer53

I'm single. Reading your posts would put me off meeting you in person if i was with your dating agency. You could look like Brad Pitt and be the richest guy in the world but you have a strange view of how relationships work. My opinion ? You will find it very hard to meet someone who meets your standards with this agency, just go out and mingle.

illotreb

Simple solution, get an MOT.

Peter333

Makes me grateful to be married! :eek:

I would hate to be in the dating game if it's this much hard work, and THAT expensive.