Problem with a dating agency… Please heeelp!!!!

SORN

As suggested I am reposting my question in this marriages board

I have been a Platinum member, for more than 3 months, of dating agency with a great reputation, paying almost £3.000 (it is not an online dating site, it is a physical dating agency).
I had my first introduction after about 2 weeks and after about one month I managed to see this lady for a first date, it was not a good match I’m afraid however, I did leave my feedback, filing in the on-line feedback form and I did also give the permission to share this feedback with my introduction.
After my introduction I had a phone conversation with my PA (personal Adviser) she was asking me why I thought she was not the right match for me, I said I don’t think she was up to my level… I did also ask her if she was happy with my answers/feedbacks and she said I was doing well.
Since it was my first introduction I did call the agency to know more about how it works and the lady on the phone was rude and laughing at me and I did also complain about this to my PA.
I am not happy with my PA for many reasons. She used to call me at any time when I was not available to answer and when I was returning the call she was always busy having meetings, I advised to arrange by email or text a day and time before to have any phone conversation to make sure we are both ready for that, she agreed, but now she stopped calling me she only emails me, but I do call her instead.
She now said she is not happy with the feedback I left about my 1st introduction, since I was not leaving enough information about her physical appearance, she said all the other members gives feedbacks saying: “she is fit, she is fat, she is like this, she is like that…” and I didn’t. Next time I will call her I will give this kind of feedbacks, but she said she was happy with my answers/feedback, and now she wants to blame me saying I am not doing what I should.
She said it is hard to find introduction for me because I do not want ladies with children.
After about 2 months and half from the joining day I had a 2nd introduction and about a week later I had a phone conversation with this lady, this second lady seemed very high qualified, I did my very best but I did not manage to persuade her for a face to face date.
After this 2nd introduction I called my PA again and I did not like this phone call at all. I did complain since I am still waiting for a feedback about my first introduction, she said my 1st introduction did not want to leave any feedback, and she also added she can’t force people to leave a feedback, but this is written on the contact, she has to leave a feedback. That first date was a complete waste of time for me. I have been a member for more than 3 month and my PA has no feedback at all yet about how I do act with ladies, to help me to improve. My PA needs to know me, the more she knows me and more she can match me with the right person, if she has no feedback yet from my introductions, she can only rely on what I say, so after 3 months we did almost zero progress.
Then she was comparing my past with her past saying: when she was my age she had 3 children already I am thirtythree, I think this very unprofessional, it is not what I want to hear from her, and it is not part of her job, she should be the one to encourage me. I come from a very hard situation and I am very proud of my improvement now, she should not judge my past. I would also happy to date a 25 year-old lady, but they do not have this kind of people, they start to take on people from the age of 30 above, and I did also accepted to date ladies up to 36 year-old, the only restriction I gave them is: I do not want to date ladies with children.
She did also say I should not keep a phone conversation very long with my introduction, but I should only say: “Hi (name) how are you? do we want to meet up?” And she also added this is what people do, again she wants to blame me I am not doing the right thing on the phone, why she did not suggest this before I had this phone call.
However she said she will find out if she can have a feedback about my phone call with my 2nd introduction, if I will not get even this feedback I won’t be happy at all.
My PA did also say that I said my first introduction was not intelligent, but I have never said that, I told her instead, what really put me off was: my 1st introduction made me wait 21days to see her, and when I saw her she said she works only 32 hours a week, I thought I had to wait so long since she was very busy working but, when she told me she works 32 hours, I was really not happy with it.
I am planning to call my PA again and if I will not be able to reach an agreement I am going to go through the complaint procedure and get a lawyer.
Any suggestion according this matter will be very appreciative
Thank you very much in advance for your support

Newdirections

I have to admit, I didn't read that all in detail. It seems to me as if you are expecting too much. You want someone "up to your level" I don't know how far this arrogance is going to get you - and I'm not sure one date would reveal someone's "level" (if there is such a thing). It sounds like you went on a bad date (it happens to everyone).

k3lvc

SORN wrote: »

I am planning to call my PA again and if I will not be able to reach an agreement I am going to go through the complaint procedure and get a lawyer.

You're serious ??? What exactly does your contract say and what are you expecting for your £1k per month ?


TBH you come across in your writings as a non-native speaker - are you expecting a particular culture/background and does the agency you're using specialise in this area ?

NYM

I've no experience of dating sites so can't really offer any advice but £3000 for 3 months membership is certainly extortionate!

What does your contract state? Is there anyway you can get out of it?
How many introductions were you led to believe they'd offer you?

It's not support you need, it's a reality check.

PeacefulWaters

£3,000?

What's wrong with tinder?

k3lvc

PeacefulWaters wrote: »

£3,000?

What's wrong with tinder?

Or therapy ?

fuzzyduck22

This makes POF sound not all that bad :rotfl:

Pollycat

It sounds like an overly-complicated, expensive way to get a date.

DUTR

SORN wrote: »

As suggested I am reposting my question in this marriages board

I have been a Platinum member, for more than 3 months, of dating agency with a great reputation, paying almost £3.000 (it is not an online dating site, it is a physical dating agency).
I had my first introduction after about 2 weeks and after about one month I managed to see this lady for a first date, it was not a good match I’m afraid however, I did leave my feedback, filing in the on-line feedback form and I did also give the permission to share this feedback with my introduction.
After my introduction I had a phone conversation with my PA (personal Adviser) she was asking me why I thought she was not the right match for me, I said I don’t think she was up to my level… I did also ask her if she was happy with my answers/feedbacks and she said I was doing well.
Since it was my first introduction I did call the agency to know more about how it works and the lady on the phone was rude and laughing at me and I did also complain about this to my PA.
I am not happy with my PA for many reasons. She used to call me at any time when I was not available to answer and when I was returning the call she was always busy having meetings, I advised to arrange by email or text a day and time before to have any phone conversation to make sure we are both ready for that, she agreed, but now she stopped calling me she only emails me, but I do call her instead.
She now said she is not happy with the feedback I left about my 1st introduction, since I was not leaving enough information about her physical appearance, she said all the other members gives feedbacks saying: “she is fit, she is fat, she is like this, she is like that…” and I didn’t. Next time I will call her I will give this kind of feedbacks, but she said she was happy with my answers/feedback, and now she wants to blame me saying I am not doing what I should.
She said it is hard to find introduction for me because I do not want ladies with children.
After about 2 months and half from the joining day I had a 2nd introduction and about a week later I had a phone conversation with this lady, this second lady seemed very high qualified, I did my very best but I did not manage to persuade her for a face to face date.
After this 2nd introduction I called my PA again and I did not like this phone call at all. I did complain since I am still waiting for a feedback about my first introduction, she said my 1st introduction did not want to leave any feedback, and she also added she can’t force people to leave a feedback, but this is written on the contact, she has to leave a feedback. That first date was a complete waste of time for me. I have been a member for more than 3 month and my PA has no feedback at all yet about how I do act with ladies, to help me to improve. My PA needs to know me, the more she knows me and more she can match me with the right person, if she has no feedback yet from my introductions, she can only rely on what I say, so after 3 months we did almost zero progress.
Then she was comparing my past with her past saying: when she was my age she had 3 children already I am thirtythree, I think this very unprofessional, it is not what I want to hear from her, and it is not part of her job, she should be the one to encourage me. I come from a very hard situation and I am very proud of my improvement now, she should not judge my past. I would also happy to date a 25 year-old lady, but they do not have this kind of people, they start to take on people from the age of 30 above, and I did also accepted to date ladies up to 36 year-old, the only restriction I gave them is: I do not want to date ladies with children.
She did also say I should not keep a phone conversation very long with my introduction, but I should only say: “Hi (name) how are you? do we want to meet up?” And she also added this is what people do, again she wants to blame me I am not doing the right thing on the phone, why she did not suggest this before I had this phone call.
However she said she will find out if she can have a feedback about my phone call with my 2nd introduction, if I will not get even this feedback I won’t be happy at all.
My PA did also say that I said my first introduction was not intelligent, but I have never said that, I told her instead, what really put me off was: my 1st introduction made me wait 21days to see her, and when I saw her she said she works only 32 hours a week, I thought I had to wait so long since she was very busy working but, when she told me she works 32 hours, I was really not happy with it.
I am planning to call my PA again and if I will not be able to reach an agreement I am going to go through the complaint procedure and get a lawyer.
Any suggestion according this matter will be very appreciative
Thank you very much in advance for your support

Before you waste anymore money on lawyers, check the T&Cs of your agreement, they are often introduction agencies, once you meet the rest is down to you.
No one can guarantee love even at any amount of money, maybe your money would have been better spent on one of those silicone dolls .

Lambyr

I have my doubts that you'll be able to pursue legal action.

If it's the agency I think you're talking about then their T&Cs will likely have been written by someone who knows what they're doing, there's probably a bunch of things in there to cover them such as not being able to guarantee that they'll find you a match, not being able to guarantee that you'll get feedback, only acting as an advisory and introduction service and all the rest of it.

I reckon the best thing you could do is sack them off before they cost you more money.

Detroit

I'm not sure if this is a relationship issue or a consumer one.

However, from the consumer angle, it seems you are unhappy with the service you are receiving.
In such cases, if you can show the service is not being carried out with reasonable skill and care, you may be entitled to claim some or part of your money back.

You don't need legal help to do this. The process is accessible to lay people, but you may benefit from advice from the CAB consumer helpline who can advise if you have a case and explain the steps you would need to take.

Almost always, this will initially be to make a formal written complaint to the company providing the service to give them the opportunity to put things right.

As advised, as a first step, you should check your contract to make sure you are clear about what you are paying for and that your expectations match what you agreed the company would do.

I would doubt that any agency promises that you will definitely get on with the people selected for you, but may guarantee to match certain key characteristics.
If they are failing in this regard, for example, if you have specified a maximum age of 36 and they are introducing people in their 40's, you may have cause for complaint.

Similarly, if you were clear that you only wanted to meet childless people, and they waited until you had signed up to tell you this was a problem and they didn't have many on their books, you may be able be justified in complaining about this.

I'm not sure the role your personal adviser is supposed to play, or how much contact they are meant to have with you.

Generally however, if you are repeatedly told someone is in a meeting, and they start communicating with you only via email, they are usually avoiding contact with you.
This might mean they think you are a difficult customer, or that they are not doing their job well.
Hard to tell without knowing what your contract says they should be doing.

This is obviously advice aimed at addressing the consumer side of things.
The relationship angle may be a little more challenging...!