Problem with a dating agency… Please heeelp!!!!

thorsoak

£3,000 for a dating agency for 3 months? More money than sense - definitely not up to my standard!

Lambyr

thorsoak wrote: »

£3,000 for a dating agency for 3 months? More money than sense - definitely not up to my standard!

If it's the one I think it is, £2,500 of that is the "membership" fee for the Platinum option that includes the Personal Advisor and all of that. Then it's something like £60 per month after that.

The agency actually brags about having "20,000 lifetime members" - what I'm guessing they mean is they've got 20,000 people who have paid a membership fee because the membership fee is a lifetime membership with a monthly subscription to continue receiving the "benefits" of that membership.

What it sounds like is they've got 20,000 people on their books who in a lifetime still haven't met the correct person!

FBaby

And she also added this is what people do, again she wants to blame me I am not doing the right thing on the phone, why she did not suggest this before I had this phone call.

So you are complaining that you are not getting your money worth because you are not getting feedback from your PA, which means you can learn to adopt your ways, but when she does give you feedback, you don't like it and complain that she is blaming you.

I'm going to be totally frank, but just by your post here, I wouldn't take an introduction further with you. Why? Because you come across as very demanding and judgmental, contradicting yourself and having unrealistic expectations.

I'm sorry to say but it's not because you are paying a high premium that you are going to up your chances of finding the perfect partner. Like any other sites, they will only have limited people to match you with, and 99% of them will not be a match for you (because you are not interested or they are not interested in someone like you). Unfortunately, you can't buy love (well you can but it will cost you a lot more than that!).

I personally think that these expensive dating agencies are a con, but ironically, reading your post has made me think that they are much more committed than I would have believed because I would have lost patience with you months ago already.

SORN

"I'm going to be totally frank, but just by your post here, I wouldn't take an introduction further with you. Why? Because you come across as very demanding and judgmental, contradicting yourself and having unrealistic expectations."

Very demanding?
Judgmental?
contradicting yourself?
unrealistic expectations?
May you please explain in detail where I have been the way you have described?
Thank you

BrassicWoman

SORN wrote: »

Very demanding?
Judgmental?
contradicting yourself?
unrealistic expectations?
May you please explain in detail where I have been the way you have described?
Thank you

Right there you have been demanding. Someone has taken the time to give you an opinion and rather than look back at your own posts you want them to do the work for you!

DUTR

SORN wrote: »

"I'm going to be totally frank, but just by your post here, I wouldn't take an introduction further with you. Why? Because you come across as very demanding and judgmental, contradicting yourself and having unrealistic expectations."

Very demanding?
Judgmental?
contradicting yourself?
unrealistic expectations?
May you please explain in detail where I have been the way you have described?
Thank you

You wrote that one lady was not highly qualified enough, one was too busy although she 'only' worked 32hrs a week, you had to wait several weeks to meet, the actual matches are few and far between.

SORN

DUTR wrote: »

You wrote that one lady was not highly qualified enough, one was too busy although she 'only' worked 32hrs a week, you had to wait several weeks to meet, the actual matches are few and far between.

My PA did ask me why I thought she was not a good match for me, the first thing I said was: I do not think I am the right person for her, but I need to start by saying I have never worked with a PA before, obviously my PA wanted more details, and I said I do not think she is up to my level, but I do not think I was much higher than her as well, the reason why I gave this answer is because I did not want to give any offensive opinions. The real reason was I could not find physical attraction, she seemed not well organized for me and quite lazy as well, I do not like lazy people, this was the first impression I had about this lady.
However if you look back up I did admit I gave to my PA not a good feedback according to what she was expecting, and I did also say I will give the right feedback as soon as I will call her again.
However, again, if you look back up you can see I did also ask my PA if she was happy with my answers and she said I was doing well, she was happy with that.
About the 21 days I had to wait to see my first introduction, I do not agree with you, if you are really interested to see a person you take 1hour off work, in dating you need to keep the fire going, in addition she is paying her monthly fee to the agency, as well as I am paying, so it should be in her interest to arrange a date as soon as possible to let the agency know if it yes or no and stop paying…

Peter333

£3000?

Yeah Ok................

Faith177

SORN wrote: »

My PA did ask me why I thought she was not a good match for me, the first thing I said was: I do not think I am the right person for her, but I need to start by saying I have never worked with a PA before, obviously my PA wanted more details, and I said I do not think she is up to my level, but I do not think I was much higher than her as well, the reason why I gave this answer is because I did not want to give any offensive opinions. The real reason was I could not find physical attraction, she seemed not well organized for me and quite lazy as well, I do not like lazy people, this was the first impression I had about this lady.
However if you look back up I did admit I gave to my PA not a good feedback according to what she was expecting, and I did also say I will give the right feedback as soon as I will call her again.
However, again, if you look back up you can see I did also ask my PA if she was happy with my answers and she said I was doing well, she was happy with that.
About the 21 days I had to wait to see my first introduction, I do not agree with you, if you are really interested to see a person you take 1hour off work, in dating you need to keep the fire going, in addition she is paying her monthly fee to the agency, as well as I am paying, so it should be in her interest to arrange a date as soon as possible to let the agency know if it yes or no and stop paying…

Tbh you seem to becoming on a bit strong in your approach. People have busy lives thry don't want to spend ages chatting on the phone and being expected to drop everything for a date. People have things going on outside of work that make take priority over coffee ect and you would need to take that into account.

I have in the past not bothered with someone if they won't take I'm busy until xyz and kept pushing to meet up just like you said above it really gets my back up.

I think also you are setting your expectations too high you seem to have a lot of qualities that you don't want in a person and you may be missing out on an opertunity by being like this instead of being open to different types of people

SORN

Detroit wrote: »

I'm not sure if this is a relationship issue or a consumer one.

However, from the consumer angle, it seems you are unhappy with the service you are receiving.
In such cases, if you can show the service is not being carried out with reasonable skill and care, you may be entitled to claim some or part of your money back.

You don't need legal help to do this. The process is accessible to lay people, but you may benefit from advice from the CAB consumer helpline who can advise if you have a case and explain the steps you would need to take.

Almost always, this will initially be to make a formal written complaint to the company providing the service to give them the opportunity to put things right.

As advised, as a first step, you should check your contract to make sure you are clear about what you are paying for and that your expectations match what you agreed the company would do.

I would doubt that any agency promises that you will definitely get on with the people selected for you, but may guarantee to match certain key characteristics.
If they are failing in this regard, for example, if you have specified a maximum age of 36 and they are introducing people in their 40's, you may have cause for complaint.

Similarly, if you were clear that you only wanted to meet childless people, and they waited until you had signed up to tell you this was a problem and they didn't have many on their books, you may be able be justified in complaining about this.

I'm not sure the role your personal adviser is supposed to play, or how much contact they are meant to have with you.

Generally however, if you are repeatedly told someone is in a meeting, and they start communicating with you only via email, they are usually avoiding contact with you.
This might mean they think you are a difficult customer, or that they are not doing their job well.
Hard to tell without knowing what your contract says they should be doing.

This is obviously advice aimed at addressing the consumer side of things.
The relationship angle may be a little more challenging...!

Detroit is the only one who really understood my case and I am going to follow his advice I am going to call the CAB consumer helpline as soon as possible and I am going to come back here to let you know what the CAB suggested, I am not really in that stage to makea claim agaist the company I just want to let them know I am really not happy and give them the chance to put things right and I hope it works without arguing

Thank you very much indeed Detroit