Problem with a dating agency… Please heeelp!!!!

GwylimT

SORN wrote: »

My PA did ask me why I thought she was not a good match for me, the first thing I said was: I do not think I am the right person for her, but I need to start by saying I have never worked with a PA before, obviously my PA wanted more details, and I said I do not think she is up to my level, but I do not think I was much higher than her as well, the reason why I gave this answer is because I did not want to give any offensive opinions. The real reason was I could not find physical attraction, she seemed not well organized for me and quite lazy as well, I do not like lazy people, this was the first impression I had about this lady.
However if you look back up I did admit I gave to my PA not a good feedback according to what she was expecting, and I did also say I will give the right feedback as soon as I will call her again.
However, again, if you look back up you can see I did also ask my PA if she was happy with my answers and she said I was doing well, she was happy with that.
About the 21 days I had to wait to see my first introduction, I do not agree with you, if you are really interested to see a person you take 1hour off work, in dating you need to keep the fire going, in addition she is paying her monthly fee to the agency, as well as I am paying, so it should be in her interest to arrange a date as soon as possible to let the agency know if it yes or no and stop paying…

Firstly not everyone can just take a random hour off work, some people have proper jobs! Not only that but I doubt many people would sacrifice a day of holiday or pay to meet a stranger, thats why people wait to meet at a convenient time. You are sounding very demanding and to be honest (correct me if I'm wrong) incredibly self centered.

SORN

Detroit wrote: »

I'm not sure if this is a relationship issue or a consumer one.

However, from the consumer angle, it seems you are unhappy with the service you are receiving.
In such cases, if you can show the service is not being carried out with reasonable skill and care, you may be entitled to claim some or part of your money back.

You don't need legal help to do this. The process is accessible to lay people, but you may benefit from advice from the CAB consumer helpline who can advise if you have a case and explain the steps you would need to take.

Almost always, this will initially be to make a formal written complaint to the company providing the service to give them the opportunity to put things right.

As advised, as a first step, you should check your contract to make sure you are clear about what you are paying for and that your expectations match what you agreed the company would do.

I would doubt that any agency promises that you will definitely get on with the people selected for you, but may guarantee to match certain key characteristics.
If they are failing in this regard, for example, if you have specified a maximum age of 36 and they are introducing people in their 40's, you may have cause for complaint.

Similarly, if you were clear that you only wanted to meet childless people, and they waited until you had signed up to tell you this was a problem and they didn't have many on their books, you may be able be justified in complaining about this.

I'm not sure the role your personal adviser is supposed to play, or how much contact they are meant to have with you.

Generally however, if you are repeatedly told someone is in a meeting, and they start communicating with you only via email, they are usually avoiding contact with you.
This might mean they think you are a difficult customer, or that they are not doing their job well.
Hard to tell without knowing what your contract says they should be doing.

This is obviously advice aimed at addressing the consumer side of things.
The relationship angle may be a little more challenging...!

Detroit is the only one who really understood my case and I am going to follow his advice I am going to call the CAB consumer helpline as soon as possible and I am going to come back here to let you know what the CAB suggested, I am not really in that stage to makea claim agaist the company I just want to let them know I am really not happy and give them the chance to put things right and I hope it works without arguing

Thank you very much indeed Detroit

Cloudydaze

To be fair, if you've paid £3,000 to find a partner then you'd expect some sort of premium service over and above the freebie dating apps.

I think the problem is that a well off, intelligent, non-lazy women with plenty of free time isn't going to join a dating agency. She's probably broadening her social circle with painting weekends in Tuscany or climbing Mount Everest!

Detroit

You're welcome.

SORN

Faith177 wrote: »

Tbh you seem to becoming on a bit strong in your approach. People have busy lives thry don't want to spend ages chatting on the phone and being expected to drop everything for a date. People have things going on outside of work that make take priority over coffee ect and you would need to take that into account.

I have in the past not bothered with someone if they won't take I'm busy until xyz and kept pushing to meet up just like you said above it really gets my back up.

I think also you are setting your expectations too high you seem to have a lot of qualities that you don't want in a person and you may be missing out on an opertunity by being like this instead of being open to different types of people

Thank you very much i really like your suggestion

strawberries1

OP, I do hope you find love; everyone deserves it.

Perhaps put in writing a complain to this agency to start with.

Personally I feel you'll get better results using dating sites and interest groups. Takes some nice photos that show some personality and likely to attract the attention of the sort of ladies you'll like to attract, write a good profile and then be intentional and proactive. Perhaps you'll meet 10 ladies before you meet the one; you'll learn from those interactions with those 10 personalities. So if perhaps your 11th matches doesn't respond as quickly as you'll like you'll be more understanding and excuse it to mean she's been busy and perhaps you need to invest in her more etc? Read some good books about relationships etc. Joined meetups and look for sites women you'll like are likely to join and go to where they might be.

I wish you the best!

hollydays

What are you hoping paying £3000 is going to get you?
What is your level of education?
Have you thought about asking friends and family what kind of person would be right for you?

hollydays

k3lvc wrote: »

You're serious ??? What exactly does your contract say and what are you expecting for your £1k per month ?


TBH you come across in your writings as a non-native speaker - are you expecting a particular culture/background and does the agency you're using specialise in this area ?

Agree with this ^^^

Your post seems to emphasise you have issues with respect and status.
I'm guessing this is a cultural thing, perhaps this is what you need to address.

Hermia

SORN wrote: »

About the 21 days I had to wait to see my first introduction, I do not agree with you, if you are really interested to see a person you take 1hour off work, in dating you need to keep the fire going, in addition she is paying her monthly fee to the agency, as well as I am paying, so it should be in her interest to arrange a date as soon as possible to let the agency know if it yes or no and stop paying…

You do realise that a lot of people have jobs where they are booked up with clients/patients/customers and can't simply just take time off without giving a lot of notice? I expect a person who can afford thousands for a dating agency is more likely to be in a job like that than most people,

Out,_Vile_Jelly

SORN wrote: »

However if you look back up I did admit I gave to my PA not a good feedback according to what she was expecting,

OP, I can see by your English that you're not a native speaker, and are perhaps approaching this with different cultural attitudes and expectations. If you come from a culture where arranged marriages are normal, you will expect dating to proceed as a formal business arrangement (hence spending large sums on a service to provide you with a product). Women from outside this culture are not going to be attracted by this approach.

There are many dating agencies specialising in particular areas, eg those who wish to meet people of the same religion or ethnic background, those who consider themselves elite professionals and even those for sugar daddies. They are all only blunt tools for meeting though; none of them can make you more interesting or appealing.