Splitting Bills & Rent

goodwithsaving

There's no right way. I personally insist on 50:50 and if the other person wants more money, they can earn it. However, it's what works for you.

paddy's_mum

kimofy wrote: »

I work full time. We have a 3 yr old and have to pay for child care which is split equally. I dont have a lavish lifestyle and have cut back as much as i possibly can.

Oh, for goodness sake! So you are, IN FACT, a family and yet you are splitting the bills down the middle which means that there is NO equality within the structure of the relationship.

This massive imbalance needs addressing as soon as possible, perhaps with the input of a trained counsellor, if you believe that raising the question may kick off a monumental row.

Tell me - where is the sharing in this relationship?

.j.e.j

Agreed, you both need to start thinking in terms of the household income, rather than 'his' and 'her' income

pickledonionspaceraider

This old grapefruit always divides the camp here at MSE

I would not feel comfortable with my husband was subsidising me and I would see this as an issue to either retrain or job search. However we do not have small children

However I see the OP has a small child so that has an impact and can see the necessity to manage things differently

Andrew_Ryan_89

Splitting down the middle shouldn't be the case for a proper couple. I earn more than my partner and also have less out goings (no loan and less on travel). We essentially combine our salary and pay our combined expenses (All bills, including individual phone bills, her loan travel and my media subscriptions). Out of what is left, we allocate an even monthly disposable income (£500 each) and save the rest in a joint account.

Both have the same amount of money for the month.

Peter333

pickledonionspaceraider wrote: »

This old grapefruit always divides the camp here at MSE

I would not feel comfortable with my husband was subsidising me and I would see this as an issue to either retrain or job search. However we do not have small children

However I see the OP has a small child so that has an impact and can see the necessity to manage things differently

Each to their own, but I just don't get this ^^^

I think a couple should pool their incomes and share ...........

Makes me cringe when we go out to the pub with this (unmarried) couple we know. He has been working for the same public limited company for 25 years and earns £35K PURELY on the time he has been there. He is fairly unskilled and unqualified with poor academic qualifications. SHE has not been so lucky and has been in and out of work for 6 or 7 years, and is currently struggling in a zero hours contract job. Some weeks she gets 50 hours, some weeks 5. She is on easily half what he is on over the course of the year.

When we go to the pub, she is fighting to try and buy a 'round' when it's her turn. She has said several times 'John, I only have a fiver, I'm not sure I can do it for 4 of us.' He makes her tip the coppers out of her purse, and takes it off her and searches it, and gets really annoyed that she has only got 5 or 6 quid left! 'It's your turn though' he barks. she goes red. 'You'll have to give me the money back then' he bleats!

last time my wife said 'OH FOR goodness sake - we'll get the next round' (even though we got the last.)

'No it's HER turn!' He says. My God, it's so uncomfortable.

I am so glad I am not in a relationship like that. Horrible, demeaning, controlling relationship. Very few people I know ARE like this; not that I know of anyway.

Detroit

Where couples keep separate finances, the lifestyle they share as a couple or family needs to be affordable to the lowest earning partner.

For a higher earning partner, there are only really three options around this.
Live a cheaper lifestyle within their partners budget.
Pay a higher proportion of the bills themself.
Find a partner with a similar income to their own.

Paying a higher proportion of bills is not in my opinion subsidising the partner, more subsidising the lifestyle the higher paid person wishes to live.

The earnings of the lower paid person also help enable the higher paid to enjoy either a better standard of living, or pay less for it, than they would as a single earner.

I think the suggestions that the lower paid person should try to earn more would not be realistic or right for everyone.

For some people their inate abilities, health, other responsibilities or career choice result in a ceiling on their earning capacity, that no amount of retraining will raise.

I would assume that people who insist on an equitable financial split would take a partners means and prospects into account before committing to the relationship.

Thunderbird4

OP this situation is ridiculous. What does your partner do with all his spare cash?

I am in a similar situation. I earn significantly more than my partner. What we do is pool the money, pay all bills out of that and then give ourselves the same amount each month. Almost like an allowance.

When you are in a relationship and you have a child together it shouldn't be his and your money. It's the families money.

Of course if one of you wasn't financially responsible then I would advise differently!

Marvel1

LKRDN_Morgan wrote: »

Well it is. Living together means sharing bills. If you live alone you don't have that option

Excatly sharing bills is 50/50.

Mojisola

cjdavies wrote: »

Excatly sharing bills is 50/50.

Sharing all the bills 50/50 is what you do in a flat share.

If you are living as a family, there's often a need for more flexibility in the way the family income is managed.