I want to stop drowning

[Deleted User]

debtaghh wrote: »

I sent it and some ppl have been funny about it

Oh well it’s to help our future!

It's tough, they'll come round eventually.

enthusiasticsaver

I cannot understand people who want to continue with the present merry go round. We had this with a family member this weekend as we spent new year with them. We don't normally buy for them as their side of the family is huge now with all the grandchildren and we never see them. Usually they don't buy for us either but the wife went to town on presents for our daughters and granddaughter. The husband apparently told her she was bonkers and she said it was only a little something. Trouble is when you buy a little something for more than 10 people on that side of the family it comes to more than £100. DH said oh perhaps we should get them something but I refuse to be guilt tripped into it when we agreed years ago we would stop.

Particularly if you are not that close to these people then I would not worry if they are reluctant to stop present buying. You need to put your family first. They will soon adjust and I bet there are some people who are glad you raised the issue. I would stick with your kids and maybe your parents. We stopped with siblings as this got ridiculous as all their families expanded with nieces, nephews, grandchildren etc but I do buy for my brother who has no partner or children.

debtaghh

Thanks. I feel better knowing the saving I am going to make next Christmas.

Another nsd here, let’s hope it continues!!! I’m def on a roll, I feel very enthusiastic to not spend and make money last!

System

Happy New Year ! You have started the year on a flying start. The present conundrum is always hard , this is the way my friends and I have done presents. It does help we all have 2 children each , but we have transferred the idea to grandchildren of the friends now.

We buy for babies birth, christening and 1st birthday . Then when they are 18 & 21 ., plus wedding . This list has worked for us over the past 28 yrs or so.

Glad to hear you so upbeat, good luck on the job hunting front.

debtaghh

Cumbria_lass wrote: »

Happy New Year ! You have started the year on a flying start. The present conundrum is always hard , this is the way my friends and I have done presents. It does help we all have 2 children each , but we have transferred the idea to grandchildren of the friends now.

We buy for babies birth, christening and 1st birthday . Then when they are 18 & 21 ., plus wedding . This list has worked for us over the past 28 yrs or so.

Glad to hear you so upbeat, good luck on the job hunting front.

That sounds like a good idea!

wishingthemortgaheaway

A secret santa works well if you have a big circle of the same people. We do that with our uni friend group.

debtaghh

Morning,

It feels like a funny time of year with things trying to get back to normal. In one way I’m wanting the routine and to get on with jobs but in another way I miss the children and the games that we have played and movies that we have watched. I spent time yesterday in writing a long list of jobs that need doing so I have plenty to do.

Today I need to:

Change bed sheets
Clean bathroom surfaces
Reapply for bigger bin
Choose one other item off list at least
Look for a job- this is daily

I’ve had two nsd this year so far.

Have a frugal day everyone.

debtaghh

I think my above post reflects how I feel when I say a funny time. I feel a bit down as I think how tight things are has hit home. I’ve told my son he can’t have his once a week sch dinner after half term, he also asked why he doesn’t get Capri suns anymore and I explained that they cost too much. My friend gave me some dates to meet up and I chose the latest date offered to prolong seeing her due to fuel etc. We have a local website that offers good deals eg £40 restaurant voucher for £20 , I would sometimes get this to use as a treat but I haven’t as I don’t need it.

I’m scared that we are not going to manage financially. I’m looking for a job but there isn’t anything suitable locally. My dh gave a good example yesterday, he said we are hanging off a cliff and anything could push us over and that’s exactly how I feel. If we have anything unexpected we will have major issues.

I suppose this barclaycard situation has probably given me my full lightbulb moment that I needed. I wish it had been earlier!

debtaghh

Very proud of myself ( it’s only something small) ,I was invited out and I said no and instead they came to mine for a coffee. In the past I wouldn’t have even thought twice about popping to a coffee shop ( supermarket one)

enthusiasticsaver

Well done on resisting coffee shop. No sense in beating yourself up but if Barclaycard had not been taking a ridiculously low minimum payment you would have been forced to deal with this when the debt was presumably lower. I think the analogy of hanging off a cliff is good and shows your DH gets it even if he, like you, feels powerless to do anything. Small steps will make the difference though.