I want to stop drowning

debtaghh

I think it's really hard to work out with the debt balance as I don't know what it was years ago. But since my signature it has gone down a little bit but not loads as I've paid some back to my parents as my mum needed it .

debtaghh

Morning,

I've been thinking of everything lately and had a plan to try and clear certain credit cards by certain dates to avoid paying interest. Then last night my dad starts demanding some money back and said he has had enough of us having credit cards in his name. Whilst I appreciate his point I feel really upset as he did offer in the first place. I just don't know what to do. Should I focus on paying his ones off first now and then him off? One of his credit cards are coming off an offer some in June ( £525) and the rest in October (£3750) . We have a £2000 Tesco deal ending in March which is what I was originally focusing on.

MrsSave

Have you posted an soa recently? I think if you haven’t that would certainly be a good idea now. How many cards do you have in your name, what are their balances and how many do you have in other people’s names and what are the balances on them?

Also, what are your current thoughts on a dmp? I don’t want to sound negative, but I just feel that you’re going around in circles and are currently in a very similar position to what you were in 12 months ago and 12 months before that. Unless something changes you will be in the same situation 12 months down the line too. I think it was around a year ago you said you would wait 6 months and then re-evaluate going on a dmp.

I think that 2020 could you the year that you take control of this. You need to be absolutely proactive and have a plan in place. You need to go through everything in detail. Show us your soa as sometimes someone else can spot things that you might miss. Phone and chat with someone for advice about how to move on. Set up a dmp if that’s the correct route for you.

I genuinely mean this with the absolute best intentions. Not to upset you but to make you see that this can’t carry on. With regards to your dad, it’s really difficult to offer advice not knowing the full situation? Are your cards maxed out? If you were going to go the dmp route would it be wise to balance transfer as much of the money you owe to your parents as possible to include it on the dmp? I’m not an expert on this so may be giving incorrect advice at this stage. I really want you to see that the way things are being dealt with are not working and I fear they’re not going to work without changes.

debtaghh

Thanks. I was thinking the same about if we put my dad's credit card under my name it would be better if we did a dmp. No I haven't posted a soa recently so will try and do that soon.

enthusiasticsaver

I think you should prioritise getting the debt in your dads and mums name into yours or prioritise paying them back. It has actually made your situation worse borrowing through them as doing a DMP won't help unless they take the family debt into consideration. I agree with Mrs Save that it is difficult to see how you can sort this without a DMP especially if you are unable to get deals. You must be getting persistent debt letters now are you?

debtaghh

Hi,

We don't get any letters and should have good credit as we always pay the minimums or more .

enthusiasticsaver

debtaghh wrote: »

Hi,

We don't get any letters and should have good credit as we always pay the minimums or more .

The persistent debt letters are usually aimed at people paying minimums only for 18 months or more. Good way to avoid these and having your payments put up is to set a direct debit for slightly above minimum and don't reduce as the balance goes down.

If all your debt is at 0% you should be ok as well. It is when your interest is higher than the amount you are paying off.

Moneywhizz

I think you should try your best to get the debt you owe to your parents paid off, or transferred to your name as soon as possible. As you say it is not really fair on you parents to still be applying for credit cards in their 70's. Even though your parents offered to help you out originally there doesn't seem to be an end in sight and maybe it is causing them stress to still owe money at this time in their life. Can you work out the full amount you owe to them, both credit cards and cash and see if you can use your existing credit to cover this amount. It is not ideal obviously to max out all your credit but at least this way if you need to go for a DMP all the debt would be included which would make things much simpler for you.

MrsSave

Hi debtaghh, I’m just checking in to see whether you’ve started working towards any of the changes mentioned above? Have you checked to see whether you can balance transfer the money you owe your parents to a credit card/s? Have you created an up to date soa and thought any more about the dmp?

I just worry that by not moving forwards you’re going to end up going backwards. You’ve said that you suffer with mental health/anxiety (I think) and whilst you stay in the same situation you won’t be giving yourself the best chance of dealing with it. Have a plan set out and follow through with it. It’s not going to be an easy ride but it will be so worth it.

debtaghh

Thanks so much for thinking of me.

Real life has been busy and stressful.

I won't have enough credit to put anywhere near my parent's debt onto my credit cards unfortunately:(

Since May last year it looks like I've only paid just over £1k off but this isn't accurate as I paid a bit back to my mum.

I still don't think a dmp will work as I owe family quite a lot of money and a lot of our credit cards are on deals. Some are ending this year and I'm trying as hard as I can to focus on them. If we get to a point where we are having to pay interest of 20% plus then we will he left with no choice but to do a dmp etc.