I want to stop drowning

enthusiasticsaver

Oh no, sorry to hear that. Were they lending you or giving you money? If you don't have enough money to pay rent and essentials then a DMP or defaulting on family debt may have to be the next step.

debtaghh

They were giving it to us

DMP_Tiger

Blimey that's awful for you. How can people just let you down like that?Will you be ok for your rent and essential bills?

MrsSave

I'm really sorry to hear that. As enthusiasticsaver said, I do think you need to look at a dmp. Things are just far too tight for you. Either that or you'll have to turn to whichever family members you owe money to and say that you have no choice but to take a break from payments (assuming that would leave them in any financial hardship).

debtaghh

I think we will able to afford everything but literally the minimums on cc. I just hope we get more income e.g. overtime as that will really help.

sweetpea26

Hi Debtagh

You need to say to family that you are reducing payments or stopping for a while. They may be quite cross and put you under pressure but you need to now start looking after your own family...fire every spare penny at the debt if you are not willing to go DMP.

Your family lenders I'm sure care about you and when they are made aware of your financial state they will just have to accept it. They or you don't have an option.

Its upsetting when others let us down but now you must realise we have all to look after ourselves. Wishing you all the best. Take care of yourself.

debtaghh

Hi,

Unfortunately my family are not like most people and cause a lot of stress in my life. Anyone that knows me know what they are like and ask how do I put up with them. They are in fact asking I pay them more. They know our situation and don't care.

I will reevaluate our situation come January and see how we cope and how much we have cleared.

DMP_Tiger

If it was me, I would carry on paying my family and stop paying the unsecured creditors.

Regardless of how nice or otherwise my family are, I would lose sleep if I couldn't pay them back. Creditors, however are a business that know for every 100 customers who repay them in full every month, there will be some who do not. They will want to see your Income and Expenditure but you can jiggle the figures to cover your family loan repayments.

I stopped paying my creditors in May and having enough money to live on each month has given me a new lease of life. Sure, it will take me a lot longer than the original 5 years to pay off my debts, but short term I had to look after my mental wellbeing - Debtaggh you need to do the same!

[Deleted User]

Hi lovely,

Grr to the family member and to the rest of your family that do not care about your situation.

I'd consider what Tiger said. See if the CC's would accept a token payment for a while, that may also give you a breather?

Sending big hugs your way, here if you want a chat xx

Moneywhizz

I read your diary often but haven!!!8217;t commented. I!!!8217;m sorry to hear that your family member has let you down and that is going to make things more difficult for you. If I remember correctly some of the money you owe to family is actually s debt they have taken out on your behalf. Maybe not paying them would cause them difficulty making the repayments.
Could you contact your creditors to ask if you can make reduced payments if you cannot sustain the payments you are making now. If you don!!!8217;t want to go down that road then looking at your budget again either to increase income or cut expenditure is your only option. Only you can decide the best plan of action for your future, but you need to protect your mental health.