I want to stop drowning

debtaghh

enthusiasticsaver wrote: »

Are you selective about the things you book to go on? In your situation if it involves overnight stays and lots of fuel I would be turning down invites if you are trying to cope with high debt and having to economise on food. You don't have to say yes to everything if money is tight.

We have gone to several family events this year and they have caused us to stay overnight, presents etc . Dh and I were talking last night and saying that next year we have to say no and really think before saying yes.

enthusiasticsaver

debtaghh wrote: »

We have gone to several family events this year and they have caused us to stay overnight, presents etc . Dh and I were talking last night and saying that next year we have to say no and really think before saying yes.

Wholeheartedly agree. Your family as in your DH and kids come first. We have had numerous family events which have cost a fortune this year but luckily we are at a stage now where we can afford it. In the past we have turned invites down and just gone to what we consider the most important. My daughter is most miffed that her and her DH spent a fortune to travel to a wedding of her DHs relative 500 miles away with a baby and a 2 year old to not even receive a thank you for coming or acknowledgement of a gift voucher. The amount spent on accommodation and fuel at this time of year plus 10 hours of driving was horrendous. Like most young couples money is tight for them and she says in future they won't bother and will stay home.

enthusiasticsaver

debtaghh wrote: »

They lent us bits over the years. Some were lump
sums to stop us getting an Iva as they were against it. The agreement of the lump sums were to pay back the amount we do now.

You probably should have gone for the IVA or DMP. Relatives lending you money which needs paying back saves on interest but the amount you have been lent must be a millstone around your neck. Always do what is right for you and who cares what your relatives are for or against. Supportive family would understand that.

debtaghh

It's funny you say that about your daughter and the people not saying thank you. I felt the same , we travelled 4 hours away and stayed over and didn't even get a text saying thank you for coming and thanks for the present! That really made me realise that we shouldn't have bothered.

enthusiasticsaver

debtaghh wrote: »

It's funny you say that about your daughter and the people not saying thank you. I felt the same , we travelled 4 hours away and stayed over and didn't even get a text saying thank you for coming and thanks for the present! That really made me realise that we shouldn't have bothered.

It is annoying isn't it? We have dropped friends and relatives for being rude like that and not bothered with future events they put on. For a larger family it is expensive to travel and stay over. It is a pain for young kids and unless it is really something you don't want to miss or someone you care a great deal about I would not bother. I have told my daughter the same.

debtaghh

I just find it rude and it makes you think why do you bother.

[Deleted User]

debtaghh wrote: »

I just find it rude and it makes you think why do you bother.

I gave up wasting my time on people like that years ago xx

debtaghh

Think that's what we are going to do x

MrsSave

We don't spend loads on snacks either. We always have apples, pears and bananas available. During th eholidays I've been buying crisps, but wouldn't usually buy the, often at all during term time. We do a little baking, but not regularly and for a sweet treat I usually pick up the Tesco value flapjack traybake for 80p and cut that up. My youngest also likes mini breadsticks and houmous, or they have crackers and a little cheese. They generally have a piece of fruit during the morning and then one of the other options during the afternoon.

debtaghh

Thanks. I think we majorly overeat and that's the issue. My dh and dd are hungry all the time. They have a massive dinner and an hour later they are having a bowl of cereal and biscuits! It's hard as I don't want to stop them but likewise we can't afford it!