Crazy Cat Lady Chapter 2 - Groundhog Day

Eager_Elephant

Oh no CCL, sorry you are feeling poorly.

Hope you feel a better soon. (have a flower to cheer yourself up )

Glad you enjoyed Scotland, such a shame DH was 100%. I am pleased he is able to tell you how he is feeling - it's so easy for them to keep it bottled up.

crazy_cat_lady

Morning all :coffee: :easter:
I'm pleased to report that normal service has just about resumed. I managed to convince dh to bring KFC home for dinner last night so that I wouldn't have to cook anything. He even brought me a burger and I eventually dared to try it, and managed to keep it down as well. Still slept right through last night until 5am - got up and still managed another couple of hours on the sofa as well. Trouble is that I still don't feel like doing anything much today (when do I ever?) so it could just be another day of sitting on my bum on the sofa, watching telly and crocheting. I have done a few bits and bobs that I'd been ignoring though - the dishes are washed and 2 loads of washing are done. I've prepped Sunday lunch and it's on cooking. I've hoovered and done a very basic tidy around the house but I'm in the frame of mind that it will just be a mess again in no time at all so there's little point in bothering...
I've been doing a lot of thinking about dh, and anyone that's reading this far - I would really appreciate any advice that you have. I was talking to him last night about seeing the doctor again and he told me that his anxiety is out of control at the moment, and he's scared to go back to the docs because he's been 'naughty' in coming off his medication when he wasn't told to. I have also been thinking a bit about bipolar disorder and I'm wondering if this might be something that needs to be considered as a diagnosis for him... The issue I have is how I get him, or the medical professionals to take my thoughts seriously. I have to get him to the doctor first obviously... Thing is that when he's feeling better then he insists that he doesn't need medication and that life is better without it. And he feels way better than he has done in years etc. Then he crashes and we end up in this situation again. I'm certain that he needs help but I don't want to bully him into anything. And I want the medical professionals to consider an alternative diagnosis...
Maybe I'm just thinking too much about it all but I like to look for solutions in things. And I really want to help him - I want him to feel better.
Anyway - he's still in bed at the moment and I'm leaving him to it. I'm making dinner and am going to work on getting him to change his clothes and have a bath or shower later on. I'm such a good example still sitting here in my pj's under the duvet :rotfl: If he stays in bed I might watch the motor racing on the big telly downstairs - we shall see.
Nothing much else to report here though.

kirtsypoos

I don't have any advice for you I'm afraid, but DH is so lucky to have someone like you in his corner - willing to fight for a diagnosis even when he isn't up to it himself.

Eager_Elephant

Sorry to always butt in when mental health is discussed but here are my thoughts:

If your DH feels okish when he is on his anti-depressants then he probably doesn't have bi-polar as people with bi-polar still have the high and low phases because anti-depressants don't fully treat bi-polar. People with bi-polar need mood stabilisers and other specialist medication.

When I say 'okish' above I mean almost back to normal = people with chronic depression may never get back to being their happy go lucky self but they will definitely be better than only being able to stay in bed and only getting up to do things like work.

The problem with a lot of people with depression is that they feel better because of the medication and think they are cured so they stop taking them and then the depression comes back and they can't fathom out why.

My DH thought he had bi-polar as his moods can be quite extreme and his lows can be very low but his GP said what he had was chronic depression and that the highs and lows are not extreme enough to be bi-polar and the stuff he does when he is 'manic' is not as extreme as what people with bi-polar have.

If it helps get DH back to the GP then tell him the GP won't care that he stopped his meds, they see loads of people who do the same. They will just try to help him again. I don't think they will consider bi-polar until he takes his meds regularly again to see how his moods are. Plus of course if the medication doesn't help they will put the dose up until he either feels better or reaches the maximum and then they would try him on something else.

Is DH drinking more? I know you have said before that when he drinks his depression/anxiety is much worse.

How is DH feeling about his job? I know his hours were changed recently and not for the better. When my DH works in a job which he hates or feels undervalued his depression is definitely worse - he has had loads of jobs in the last 10 years as he gets bored easily and often feels undervalued.

When DH was in hospital before he probably saw a psychiatrist and they would recognise the signs of bi-polar and if they didn't diagnose him then they probably didn't think he had it (although that's not to say he won't develop it later on).

I know I have mentioned before but it's worth repeating - my DH always feels better when he takes his medication regularly, eats regular meals which are relatively healthy (by this I mean that he doesn't eat 2 mars bar and call it dinner!!) and gets out in the fresh air for a while. It also helps if he has jobs to do as that keeps the mind active and he is less likely to sleep on the sofa through boredom.

DH takes a range of vitamins and one of them is B12 which apparently can help with depression. He takes this as well as an anti-depressant.

jdjd83

I completely agree with everything said above. My DH was the same and tried to come off his meds or would just "forget" to take them for a few days, I often felt like his mother constantly asking him but he is so much better when on them. We agreed that if he wanted to come off them he needed to speak with the doc and do it properly, they suggested a time and that it would be a gradual process, I must point out that my hubby has now been on meds for 5 years, this is a long term issue. The GPwas very helpful and was not annoyed with him at all. The good weather helps my hubby and definitely eating regularly and jobs around the house, sorry for the long message, hope it helps xx

crazy_cat_lady

Thank you so much for the advice EE and jd. Just to prove me wrong he got up yesterday feeling ok-ish and I was left to watch football afternoon. Got him to change his clothes and eat eventually. I know he's stressing about going back to work tomorrow though - and whilst the hours suit him in terms of his own sleeping patterns, we all know it means we barely see anything of each other. One of the reasons that bipolar has been playing on my mind is that is was mentioned by a couple of his psychiatrists last time he was in hospital. Type II, which is apparently where the highs are not as high. Still I'm not the expert by any stretch. He was on the maximum dose of his medication, and the doctor had wanted to change his meds but was concerned about time delays in weaning him off those meds and trying something else. I have tried to offer this as the silver lining to dh in terms of going back to the doctor and getting his medication changed. I expect this is all just me looking for a solution to a problem that I don't think has any solution - if he's ill then he's ill and there's nothing we can do. I just need to help him get through it as quickly as we can.
As for the drinking - it's way better than it was. He's not had anything to drink for about a week now, and I think he's finally getting the message that it is a short term fix for how he's feeling.
Anyway, my relaxing day yesterday turned into a bit of a busy one in the end. The rainy weather meant I had to do a couple of turns as mam's taxi to get kids to various places that I would normally make them walk to. Plus when dh got up he noticed that the small freezer door wasn't properly closed which of course meant an emergency defrost. We can put freezer defrosting right up there with gardening and cleaning the toilet as one of my least favourite things to do. Ever. It took hours - but I do have a sparkly clean freezer now. Only a few hand injuries from trying to de-ice as well. Unfortunately one of them is on my crochet thumb which makes things a little uncomfortable.
Today I'm going to have to go out and get a few bits at L1dl and the freezer shop. DS has run out of pizza and obviously that is the end of the world in general. I also need a few bits as I want to make some of the leftover chicken into coronation chicken for later. As I had suspected - nobody wanted dinner at lunchtime yesterday, then both kids were out over dinnertime so there are loads of leftovers.
Other than that, I need to do one more load of washing (towels from the freezer job) and the usual tidy up. I had a rough night last night, and I was awake between 2.30 and 5am before I got up at 8 this morning. So I suspect that I'll need to have a nap later on. I also really need to sit down for a couple of hours and do some marking, but I think perhaps today is not the day for it. That will be best tackled when I've actually had a good night of sleep. But guilt about it is starting to niggle at me - I reckon that it's about 5 hours of work max...
Right - time for cuppa number 2 before I go in the shower. :coffee: Have a good day all

Eager_Elephant

Well if they have mentioned bi-polar before then it is worth asking for a referral to a psychiatrist again.

Not sure if the GP will make him try some new anti-depressants before they can refer on or not.
I do think that the change in medication thing is a faff, I know we don't want people to overdose but surely the lowering of one medication to nothing before you start another one is just ripe for peoples mental health to nose dive even more.

Glad DH is not drinking as much.

Fingers crossed you can get him to the GP this week.

How have you injured your hand by defrosting? don't tell me you used a knife......

crazy_cat_lady

Morning all :coffee:
No, I didn't use a knife EE - I use a wooden spatula and a lot of force The injuries are tiny cuts and scrapes from forcing ice off bits of the freezer. I impaled my thumb on a sharp edge on the freezer shelf which was the main sore bit.
DH got up yesterday which is more than I was expecting the day before he goes back to work. He was incredibly anxious all day though which was less good. I managed to get him to eat, and I thought I'd talked him into going to the doctors but he changed his mind when I went to get the login for the appointment system. Never mind, small steps...
Other than that it was a quiet day generally. I went into town and stocked up on everything required for £27. I'm going to have to be careful for the rest of the month because I spent more on hols than I was expecting to. I've sat down and rejigged the budget. I still can't believe I earn as much as I do but never seem to have any money left at the end of the month. I must get the food budget under control...
I didn't get any school work done so that's a bit of a priority for me today. It's starting to get to me and I think that's some of the reason that I've stopped sleeping so well again. I'll feel better once I get some of that out of the way.
Plus I'm almost finished my latest crochet blanket - I would rather do that but needs must...

crazy_cat_lady

Why do I always underestimate how long marking will take? I've done 3 hours pretty solid and still am not finished. I have 1 set of Year 10 tests left to mark and 17 pieces of controlled assessment to annotate (and that is the pain in the bum job), but I have marked 6 sets of Year 11 mock exams and entered all of the data for analysis so I feel that the biggest bit is done. I need to break this annotation work into smaller chunks because it just seems too much. I reckon 3 lots of 4 and 1 lot of 5 should do it without it seeming overwhelming. Hopefully though my brain will quieten itself down a bit now and let me nap.
DH got up this morning, showered and shaved and went off to work a few minutes early! I was most pleasantly surprised - long may that continue.
I'm trying to decide now whether or not to nap...

crazy_cat_lady

Morning all :hello: :coffee:
I'm looking forward to today - off to visit my friend who lives about an hour away. We always catch up during the hols and it's always lovely. I'm particularly looking forward to seeing her today because she hasn't been very well over the past few weeks so I want to see for myself how she's getting along and hopefully help her out for a bit. DD has decided she wants to stay home so I am leaving her with dh until lunchtime, then with my sister in the afternoon. Should be an easier day with just one of the kids with me - they can't fight all day then.
Doubtful I'll get much marking done today but I will go for a couple of the annotations once I'm home later. Got a better night's sleep last night so I was right about that playing on my mind a bit.
Nothing much else to report - I'll be back either later tonight or tomorrow.