Finding the dating game so harsh!

onomatopoeia99

tea_lover wrote: »

Have you tried www.eighteenthcenturydating.com?

I was very disappointed to discover that URL was made up :rotfl:

Angry_Bear

onomatopoeia99 wrote: »

He asked you to let him know when you wanted to see him next? If you want to see him again you should probably contact him then.

^^ This. It sounds to me that he's made it clear he would like to see you again but doesn't want to put pressure on you or "hound" you. He's probably convinced by now that you didn't really enjoy yourself and never want to see him again.
I'd always follow up a good date with a quick text - "Thanks for a nice night out, we should do it again some time" or something like that. Opens the door for them to be noncommittal if not interested or suggest something concrete if they are.

PeacefulWaters

strawberries1 wrote: »

I agree with you Jamie.
I started online dating over a month now and have met with 2 guys one which said he liked me and wanted to see me more often. As we said our goodbyes at our last meeting he asked that I let him know when next I want to see him. I smiled and we parted. Over a week now he hasn't contacted me.
I feel a man should pursue a woman if he's interested in her instead of putting out a minimum risk and minimum effort approach.
I expect a man who's serious to message the woman, ask for dates do the pursuing. It helps to weed out the non serious ones. I don't think women should approach men but it appears things are getting blurred these days. I'm using Guardian Soulmates but might try match or eharmony when my subscription ends.

Why would anyone want a screwed up relationship with somebody who's failed to communicate something basic like this.

The bloke probably has two or three other dates lined up and you are in serious danger of missing your chance.

From my experience of the last few months most women will find a way of letting a man know she's interested without stating it overtly - this makes it easy for any switched on man to take a risk and ask daring questions like "when would you like to meet again?".

You've accepted without challenge his request that you contact him and then gone back on it. To me that's screwball behaviour and I'd walk away and move onto the next lady.

The concept of the film script pursuit is rare at best. If you're interested message him and ask how he is. Then take it from there, perhaps accidentally letting him know you've got a quiet week ahead.

Don't fanny about playing games!

jamiehelsinki

strawberries1 wrote: »

I agree with you Jamie.
I started online dating over a month now and have met with 2 guys one which said he liked me and wanted to see me more often. As we said our goodbyes at our last meeting he asked that I let him know when next I want to see him. I smiled and we parted. Over a week now he hasn't contacted me.
I feel a man should pursue a woman if he's interested in her instead of putting out a minimum risk and minimum effort approach.
I expect a man who's serious to message the woman, ask for dates do the pursuing. It helps to weed out the non serious ones. I don't think women should approach men but it appears things are getting blurred these days. I'm using Guardian Soulmates but might try match or eharmony when my subscription ends.

I didn't say women couldn't approach men, I said in my experience they would smile,stare,flirt but rarely make the first move.

If you agreed to make the next move then it's up to you to do that, you could have just said call me.

I've been on there a week now and have had more women message me than I expected, working the other way I have found I get a good response rate to messaging women who have viewed my profile previously, maybe I had already passed the look's test?

I dislike this meeting for coffee idea though!

Seabee42

Lets be honest meeting for coffee is just an excuse to check your real and more or less match your picture/profile. You have to start somewhere!

System

I;ve had my share of bad experiences with online ddating but thankfully last year struck gold Never thought id meet the one but it has finally happened.

If i hadn;t been looking at my eemail at 4am, if i hadnt clicked n it and out of curiousity looked at the message on POF, if i hadn;t messaged him back, i wouldn;t be anywhere near as happy as i am now.

Likewise my friend met his gf there too and they've now have a lovely baby boy and marraige on the cards, he;d been single for 6 years until i persuaded him (read: pretty much forced him to make a profile ) to give it a shot.

The one thing i will say that annoyed me whilst doing online dating wasthe amount of men who sent unsolicited d*ck pics _pale_ seriously a)no woman wants to see that and b)thats not a good first impression to make on someone. they all got swiftly blocked.,

FredG

I have supreme confidence 99% of the time, the 1% happens when I genuinely like someone and become a total puddle.


If girls didn't ask me out occasionally I'd be living in a monastery now.

Seabee42

I think we have all been shy especially when we like someone, but they have to be worth the effort of getting rejected. It is not easy but the alternatives are going solo!

Angry_Bear

jamiehelsinki wrote: »

I dislike this meeting for coffee idea though!

I'm curious, why don't you like this and what do you do instead?

Oakdene

See, I have been able to talk to a few ladies online & indeed arrange dates but my lack of self confidence leads me to cancelling the day before citing having to work late the following day...


I really need to get over this lack of confidence.