Primary School Says I am Totally Wrong About them Not Meeting My Son's Needs

coolcait

Returning to the topic of the thread, I hope that the range of views has given the OP ideas, and food for thought.

Maybe we should continue to feed ideas and support to the OP, rather than continuing with any other 'feeding'?

susancs

OP, after your assessment revealed that your son is doing well educationally but has some gaps in his mathematical skills, which could possibly be as a result of missing lessons, the main issue seems to be dealing with his refusal to go to school.

My daughter had a child with ASD in her class in school (who is now at Oxford University). In primary and at the start of secondary school he had telephone numbers, arranged via the school, of a few classmates he could ring if he struggled with understanding homework, which could cause a meltdown at home and him not wanting to go to school. My daughter was one of those who used to talk him through it over the phone at secondary school (with skype I would imagine this is easier now). In primary school he had buddies who called for him on the way to school, again arranged via the school. In secondary school he was met at the school gate. The buddies were given strategies to use with him when he was starting to get a melt down, but they always loved what they consider his quirkiness. As the years went on, he often supported DD through her teenage dramas so it was a two way friendship. They are both 19 now and have continued to have a close friendship (as he does with his other buddies) even though at different universities.

In maths often a school will have to teach consistant methods as these will be built on over the years. The 9 times tables method I would imagine is the well known one of using finger counting from the left hand e.g for 2X9 put down the 2nd finger for tens, one ten before that for tens and count the remaining 8 fingers so you have 18, 4x9 put down the fourth finger and 3 before for tens (30) and count the remaining 6 so you have 36. The issue with that is that you can only do it until 10x9. It also can only be done with the 9 times tables. The CPG revision books explain a lot of concepts such as decimals in a fun easy way. Here is the year 5 one on Amazon. You could spend some of the summer holidays doing the book together ( I did that with DD2 when she had a poor teacher one year in secondary school).
https://www.amazon.co.uk/KS2-Maths-Targeted-Study-Book/dp/1847621929/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1467528474&sr=8-2&keywords=cgp+year+5+maths

susancs

kingfisherblue wrote: »

Children can be more understanding and compassionate than adults give them credit for.

Totally agree with you on this. Children are well placed to understand how a peer may feel and are often well placed to think up effective help with issues.

pollypenny

I agree that other pupils are usually very supportive of those with special needs. I saw that for kids with a range of problems from deafness, ASD and Downs.

However, they tend to be quite perceptive and know when a kid, or his parents, are swinging the lead.

Getting him to attend regularly is crucial. First step to making friends, let alone being up to date with learning.

ERICS_MUM

dill_dough wrote: »

You need to take charge of the child. As things are, the child is taking charge of YOU.

That's not going to be easy, having let him have it his own way for ten years, but with a bit of help and support from others it can be done.

You tell him he's going to school. No is not an option. Any nonsense and he gets a warning. Any more nonsense and he gets a smack.

Parents these days are letting the kids rule the roost, and it's not doing anybody any favours.

I agree with all you say EXCEPT for the idea of smacking. I remember being smacked by my parents as a child. I was terrified then and it didn't make me behave any better. As an adult I've resented it to a certain extent.

GwylimT

dill_dough wrote: »

You need to take charge of the child. As things are, the child is taking charge of YOU.

That's not going to be easy, having let him have it his own way for ten years, but with a bit of help and support from others it can be done.

You tell him he's going to school. No is not an option. Any nonsense and he gets a warning. Any more nonsense and he gets a smack.

Parents these days are letting the kids rule the roost, and it's not doing anybody any favours.

So hitting a child cures them of ASD?

Its a great shame that those with neurological conditions are still being treated in such an awful way.

msb5262

susancs wrote: »

OP, after your assessment revealed that your son is doing well educationally but has some gaps in his mathematical skills, which could possibly be as a result of missing lessons, the main issue seems to be dealing with his refusal to go to school.

My daughter had a child with ASD in her class in school (who is now at Oxford University). In primary and at the start of secondary school he had telephone numbers, arranged via the school, of a few classmates he could ring if he struggled with understanding homework, which could cause a meltdown at home and him not wanting to go to school. My daughter was one of those who used to talk him through it over the phone at secondary school (with skype I would imagine this is easier now). In primary school he had buddies who called for him on the way to school, again arranged via the school. In secondary school he was met at the school gate. The buddies were given strategies to use with him when he was starting to get a melt down, but they always loved what they consider his quirkiness. As the years went on, he often supported DD through her teenage dramas so it was a two way friendship. They are both 19 now and have continued to have a close friendship (as he does with his other buddies) even though at different universities.

In maths often a school will have to teach consistant methods as these will be built on over the years. The 9 times tables method I would imagine is the well known one of using finger counting from the left hand e.g for 2X9 put down 2 fingers for tens and count the remaining 8 fingers so you have 18, 4 put down four fingers for tens and count the remaining 6 so you have 46. The issue with that is that you can only do it until 10. It also can only be done with the 9 times tables. The CPG revision books explain a lot of concepts such as decimals in a fun easy way. Here is the year 5 one on Amazon. You could spend some of the summer holidays doing the book together ( I did that with DD2 when she had a poor teacher one year in secondary school).
https://www.amazon.co.uk/KS2-Maths-Targeted-Study-Book/dp/1847621929/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1467528474&sr=8-2&keywords=cgp+year+5+maths

Excellent post - but 4 X 9 = 46? Shurely shome mishtake?

Mojisola

GwylimT wrote: »

So hitting a child cures them of ASD?

Gwylim - That poster is just the latest incarnation of a long-standing troll. Don't feed him.

He's posted several inflammatory posts on other threads as well.

susancs

msb5262 wrote: »

Excellent post - but 4 X 9 = 46? Shurely shome mishtake?

Lol, sorry typing error meant to put 36, will correct it.

[Deleted User]

Well the good news is I have received this from Education Advice at NAS:

Thank you for your email.

I think the sentences in your email where you say “They keep saying over and over, he needs to learn to become like other children in the school. But they aren't making allowance for his special needs.” and “He wouldn't have low attendance if he was happy and comfortable in school” are key.

All state funded schools receive funding for special educational needs (SEN) and have a legal duty to meet the needs of the pupils on roll. This is a requirement of section 66 of the Children and Families Act 2014 (see first attachment). The second attachment is “Special educational needs and disability: A guide for parents and carers”, which was published by the government in August 2014 and includes the following –
"If your child has SEN, your school needs to use its best endeavours – that means to do its very best – to give your child the support they need. That could include getting advice and support from specialists outside the school (such as an educational psychologist, a speech and language therapist or a specialist teaching and advisory service).”

The SEND Code of Practice says –
“6.2 Every school is required to identify and address the SEN of the pupils that they support. Mainstream schools, which in this chapter includes maintained schools and academies that are not special schools, maintained nursery schools, 16 to19 academies, alternative provision academies and Pupil Referral Units (PRUs), must:
• use their best endeavours to make sure that a child with SEN gets the support they need – this means doing everything they can to meet children and young people’s SEN
• ensure that children and young people with SEN engage in the activities of the school alongside pupils who do not have SEN
• designate a teacher to be responsible for co-ordinating SEN provision – the SEN co-ordinator, or SENCO (this does not apply to 16 to 19 academies)
• inform parents when they are making special educational provision for a child…”

The Code also says that parents views and concerns should be taken into account when considering the right support for their child.
“6.20 For some children, SEN can be identified at an early age. However, for other children and young people difficulties become evident only as they develop. All those who work with children and young people should be alert to emerging difficulties and respond early. In particular, parents know their children best and it is important that all professionals listen and understand when parents express concerns about their child’s development. They should also listen to and address any concerns raised by children and young people themselves.”

In addition to their legal duties under SEN law, The Equality Act 2010 requires schools to make 'reasonable adjustments' for disabled pupils at school. Government Guidance has been sent to all schools in relation to the Equality Act. The guidance doesn't just cover issues in relation to disability , but also other equality issues, such as race, ethnicity etc. You may find the following extracts particularly helpful:

'1.5 The Act makes it unlawful for the responsible body of a school to discriminate against, harass or victimise a pupil or potential pupil
• in relation to admissions,
• in the way it provides education for pupils,
• in the way it provides pupils access to any benefit, facility or service, or
• by excluding a pupil or subjecting them to any other detriment.'

To ensure that the school doesn’t discriminate against disabled pupils, or subject them to any detriment, they may need to make ‘reasonable adjustments’ to their practices and policies. The government guidance goes on to outline special provisions for those with disabilities, pointing out that it may be necessary to treat a disabled person more favourably in order to put them on a level footing. So when the school says “he needs to learn to become like other children in the school” they may, in fact discriminating against him:

'Special provisions for Disability
1.25 The law on disability discrimination is different from the rest of the Act in a number of ways. In particular, it works in only one direction – that is to say, it protects disabled people but not people who are not disabled. This means that schools are allowed to treat disabled pupils more favourably than non-disabled pupils, and in some cases are required to do so, by making reasonable adjustments to put them on a more level footing with pupils without disabilities The definition of what constitutes discrimination is more complex. Provision for disabled pupils is closely connected with the regime for children with special educational needs. Chapter 4 deals in detail with disability issues.'
'4.2 The overriding principle of equality legislation is generally one of equal treatment - i.e. that you must treat a black person no less well than a white person, or a man as favourably as a woman. However, the provisions relating to disability discrimination are different in that you may, and often must, treat a disabled person more favourably than a person who is not disabled and may have to make changes to your practices to ensure, as far as is reasonably possible, that a disabled person can benefit from what you offer to the same extent that a person without that disability can. So in a school setting the general principle is that you have to treat male and female, black and white, gay and straight pupils equally - but you may be required to treat disabled pupils differently. Discrimination is also defined rather differently in relation.’

I would suggest that you ask for a formal meeting with the school’s Special Educational Needs Coordinator (SENCo) to discuss your concerns about <your son>. You can ask how the school are doing their best to meet <your son>’s needs and give him the support he requires (as is their legal duty under SEN law). You can also ask them to make reasonable adjustments for <your son>, because he isn’t like other children. You may find it helpful to ask if a friend or advisor (perhaps someone from the local Information, Advice and Support Service) to go with you.

To help give some ideas of the sorts of interventions the school might put into place for <your son>, you might be interested to read A School's Guide to Asperger Syndrome - on the NAS website. Within this information you may recognise some of the difficulties that he experiences at school and it includes some strategies that can help. You could also download the NAS Resource Pack for School Staff which goes into greater detail and can be shared with the school.

If the school continues with their current attitude, then you might want to reconsider applying for an EHC needs assessment, as I previously advised.


This might clarify some of the points raised in previous posts.

Re the point about whether its a good thing for a child to use different methods to solve a maths question to an 'approved one' , the SEND code of practice does strongly advise the use of 'diversity in teaching methods' when a child is having problems using one method . This means allowing a child to use different methods to SOLVE a question. Obviously if that method isn't working no one would recommend it be used. But if one method makes sense to a child and another doesn't, and they can work the problem out, then a school should allow that child to continue to use the method even if its not the 'approved' method. My son is corrected if he doesn't use the approved method, one method only. This is not diversity in teaching methods that should be used.

However, there will be some of you that will be glad to hear I am now being threatened with an Education Welfare Officer and penalties because of his 79.8% attendance. And I am a basket case apparently. So there you go. I give up. Been dealing with this for fifteen years. There has to be an end point. I've reached it. But who knows the information above might be useful to someone. I hope so.