Debt, debt go away (and don't come back another day)

Legacy_user

Hi everyone.

After being a lurker for a good while, and reading loads of positive stories, i have decided to take a leap and start keeping a diary.
We're just about to enter into a DMP as our debt has now got to the tipping point - and I honestly think we need that push to get it sorted.

All the classic mistakes have got us here - we haven't made wise money decisions, and we don't earn a great deal so it's quickly spiralled.

My DH is self employed and has an irregular income- sometimes people pay on the day, or worst case some jobs take over 60 days to pay! This makes budgeting really tough.

In the last 5 years, with multiple miscarriages under our belt, we also spent money we could little afford in trying to understand why we were miscarrying and support us in having a baby.....the good news being that our rainbow arrived last year, attempt number 5, and she is an absolute delight. We're thankful everyday for her, and I don't regret a penny of it! I also have a stepson who's 13 and lives with us part-time.

I am employed but in the last couple of years I've had time off work for Mat leave, and am currently back part-time....my DH has also dropped a day, and we're also paying out for nursery so something has to give.

So - what are we doing:
Selling things to help clear down our 2 h@lifax credit cards
Using YNAB to budget better and smarter
Tracking NSD's - aiming for 20 a month - already done 9 for June
Tracking grocery spends as we definitely spend too much
Cutting back on gift spending (somehow)
Opening an etsy shop to sell stuff (chopping boards and wood products)
Exploring some online income options

Up to now we haven't defaulted on a payment so going onto a DMP feels mighty strange, but I am slowly coming around to it. I'm an impatient person so i want to do everything yesterday so having to find some serious patience I think.

Thanks for reading. Looking forward to tracking how we are doing.

kimplus8

ramblehan wrote: »

Hi everyone.

After being a lurker for a good while, and reading loads of positive stories, i have decided to take a leap and start keeping a diary.
We're just about to enter into a DMP as our debt has now got to the tipping point - and I honestly think we need that push to get it sorted.

All the classic mistakes have got us here - we haven't made wise money decisions, and we don't earn a great deal so it's quickly spiralled.

My DH is self employed and has an irregular income- sometimes people pay on the day, or worst case some jobs take over 60 days to pay! This makes budgeting really tough.

In the last 5 years, with multiple miscarriages under our belt, we also spent money we could little afford in trying to understand why we were miscarrying and support us in having a baby.....the good news being that our rainbow arrived last year, attempt number 5, and she is an absolute delight. We're thankful everyday for her, and I don't regret a penny of it! I also have a stepson who's 13 and lives with us part-time.

I am employed but in the last couple of years I've had time off work for Mat leave, and am currently back part-time....my DH has also dropped a day, and we're also paying out for nursery so something has to give.

So - what are we doing:
Selling things to help clear down our 2 h@lifax credit cards
Using YNAB to budget better and smarter
Tracking NSD's - aiming for 20 a month - already done 9 for June
Tracking grocery spends as we definitely spend too much
Cutting back on gift spending (somehow)
Opening an etsy shop to sell stuff (chopping boards and wood products)
Exploring some online income options

Up to now we haven't defaulted on a payment so going onto a DMP feels mighty strange, but I am slowly coming around to it. I'm an impatient person so i want to do everything yesterday so having to find some serious patience I think.

Thanks for reading. Looking forward to tracking how we are doing.

You sound like a very strong and inspiring family.
Have you posted up an SoA. I found it so helpful to get feedback on areas I could shave spending.
I'm sorry to hear about all your angel babies but so pleased for you getting a perfect rainbow xx
It's so hard when you realise what kind of situation you are in financially but it makes your stronger as a family to focus and get through it together. I will be following xx

System

Thanks Kimplus.. Onwards and upwards - trying to be positive about it all and be glued to MSE to keep me focused!

I'll post my SOA tomorrow - if anyone can find me anything to save I'll be on it! Our problem tends to be we never budget/save for things we do need so when we have to have them (e.g clothes) even though I only buy 2nd hand or in charity shops, it still knocks us out of sync. Gifts is definitely an issue - a certain amount of keeping up the joneses kicks in and I spend too much - not helped by my sister or mum always going OTT on gifts....have a radical plan to tackle it all - but even when I suggest they don't buy me anything they refuse "as they like to do it"....need to work on getting them to understand that makes me feel bad. They have NO idea of how much debt we're in and would be horrified. Hey ho....

Kitten868

Hello lovely. Oh what a drama. Congratulations! And what a fantastic reason to be debt free. We are all here for the same reason so no shame here. Give us your nasty number we are here to support you while you blitz it.
Theres a brilliant thread for dmp support on the main debt free board to have a look at.
From what I've read you should be focusing your selling on building up an emergency fund buffer. I'm not on a dmp so if something goes wrong I can make minimum payments and pay it that month. You've agreed your income to go out for debt so be more careful sweet heart
I know what you mean about gifts. Drives me mad. Having to buy things for second cousins. Buying rubbish no one even wants. But I'm a miser.
You can do this xxx

Florence_J

Good luck, you will find solace on here in the darkest hours, you will find hope and wisdom, joy, laughter and everything in between. This has helped me so much and I feel so supported on here, I can only wish you the same.

Congratulations on your darling child, you've proven to yourself you can achieve your dreams, the journey may be bumpy but you'll get there.

Take care

flo

System

Thanks Kitten and Flo. It's lovely to have your support and encouragement.

Small grocery shop today - now at £199.59....it's creeping up!

Going to do some investigations about how I can earn money from home.

System

So, I've signed up for Upwork - put myself down as a writer and started a profile. I currently do a lot of marketing and comms writing for work so it's something I am fairly comfortable with.
Be interesting to see if I can pick up any work!

Wanted to do website testing, but need a microphone for that so we'll see - don't really want to spend any money right now.

Feeling a bit depressed tonight. DH was supposed to have 2 days work from tomorrow, but they rang tonight and cancelled because it's wet (he's a gardener / landscaper) - they are a minted client, and it's like they have no appreciation of the impact that can have. Sigh. My DH is feeling really low too and I don't know how to snap him out of it. When he's like this he retreats and sometimes doesn't take on work, or do work he has on his books to do (making me want to scream... we need the money, get out there and earn...) but if I say anything I get the "nagging" label. Wish often that he was not self employed....

anyway enough maudlin meanderings from me. I'm going to wash up, tidy up and get ready for a better day tomorrow.

Hope everyone's OK x

System

Nearly forgot - here's our SOA for our DMP that we are just about to start - before this we were paying £400-£450 month to debts to make minimum payments.

My wages 1353
DH wage 750 (after he has taken out all his business costs)
Child Benefit 89
Solar panel income 59
Total 2251


Mortgage £588
Water £80
Council tax £124
Electricity £45
Building/contents insurance £15
Telephone/mobile/internet £45
TV licence £25
Childcare £300
Child maintenance £130
Spares/servicing £42
Road tax £10
Car Insurance £31
Breakdown cover £4
Fuel/parking £184
Food/toiletries/cleaning £313
Pets/pet foods/insurance £79 ( of that Medication needed for cat £35)
Clothing/footwear £20
Sports/hobbies/entertainment £30
Sundries & emergencies £36
2101
Remaining to pay to creditors 150

Notes - If my hubby has a few good jobs come in, he can contribute a lot more - e.g in the last month he has done 2 x 2 day jobs pulling in £1K - but they are on 60 day payment terms....so our SOA is a worst case scenario, and I hope we will be able to pay more to creditors on the good months, but initially my plan is to build a good emergency fund - ideally I would like £1K for us and £1.1K for my husbands business so that would mean he has enough funds to cover over a month of payments in case of illness and late payment.

In terms of where we can cut costs - we have definitely been spending more on food than £313 a month so this is my major area of focus. At some point our TV licence fee will go down to £12 so that's a little more to the debt free or EF pot when that happens.

We're planning to start our DMP this month, offering £1 payments for next 2-3 months so I hope this will really help sort out the EF's. Then once we've got them sorted, it will be on to paying down the debt.

I have asked this week to go back to working full-time, and then my DH will do my childcare day. Fingers crossed - will be sad to do it, but I know I can then make a difference to the debt, and my incomes more reliable than DH.

Poor_Single_lady

I hope you can both get through the cloud tonight. Sometimes we all have low points where it feels just lousy. Im hoping it will pass for you. Wishing you good thoughts. Xxxxx

hannahroberts1985

Hey,

Just started a diary of my own so thought is have a read of a few newer ones. Congratulations on your rainbow baby. I have a two year old son and went back part time at first. I've been working full time and my partner part time for 4 months now as we need the money. It's a big decision to make but it's all for their future. Who need sleep anyway right?

I don't know much about DMP's do can't really advice here sorry.

Your shopping bill seems quite high. Have you tried swapping stores? Do you take a list and meal plan? We spend about £160 a month for three of us. We swapped to aldi after DS was born as that's where we get our nappies from so makes sense to shop there. We will pop to tesco for fruit and veg and other bits and bobs but try not to as everytime we pop in for milk we come out with a bag full and £40 less in our pocket.

Right best go DS is waking up. I'll subscribe and check in when I can.

Hannah

System

Wrote a long response and lost it!! Hey ho!

Thanks PSL - I've been much brighter today and the sun has shone here too.

Thanks Hannah. Our shopping bill is stupidly high and I think there's been a few reasons historically....we live in the middle of nowhere so our local shop is a really expensive tiny co-op. We were doing a big shop at Aldo, which is a 2hr round trip from us, but then when we were getting low, doing top ups locally - and this is where the 'bad spending' is happening. This month I did a big Aldo shop to begin with, and then have topped up at Morrisans which is a 1hr round trip.
We cook a lot from scratch so that's good. We have a bread machine, so that helps with not going in.
Another issue I think is that my DD is currently on Oat milk as gets exzema with dairy - I am still BF-ing, so also using oat milk and it's definitely not cheap. So I know oat milk is a high cost.
And a further issue is my DH and SS have hollow legs! DH does a very physical job so eats ALOT, and SS has just turned 13 and shot up about a foot! I'm trying to cut back on meat consumption to help as we were definitely stuck in a meat rut with meat everyday...so now trying more veggie, but also making sure we have 1 fish dish a week.
I've got a full freezer at the moment, so just top up spends to go, and I think fresh fruit and veg is the culprit here, as I buy berries as well as the usuals for the little one. Thankfully we've got blueberry bushes strwbs, gooseberries and raspberries coming on in the garden so will soon be able to save some more, and we have put up a poly tunnel so will be getting an extended growing season for greens / veg.

I'd really like to know how you do it!!

Lovely to get both of your support xx