Expect daughter to live overseas for a year?

mum2one

Im my thoughts, I would not have this wrote in for many pratical as emotional reasons..
School place - there not going to keep it open for 12 mths
GCSE / A levels - again study as well as place

Family - God forbid anything did happen to the pair of you, then your daughter would be grieving / finding her own footing

Holiday / to a yr.. There is a aheck of a difference between a holiday and living there.

I would not agree to it.

FBaby

Re the will - this isn't to go in the will, it's a letter of wishes to go alongside it

So he writes his letter, you write yours and then she does what she wants taking these into consideration if it comes to it.

thorsoak

How old is she now?

unforeseen

Ha your husband considered that if she goes there during her education years then there is probably something in NZ law that means that she would need to be enrolled in a school while there for a year?

After all she is a New Zealand citizen

Person_one

thorsoak wrote: »

How old is she now?

In the OP it says 'baby daughter'.

Why don't you start a separate account and tell her that it's for her to use on a gap year to New Zealand after she leaves school, won't be as disruptive and more likely she'll want to do it!

I expect this is just a sign that your husband is feeling the distance from his family a bit more acutely now your daughter is here.

tea_lover

It would depend when you both die as well, surely? If this happened when she was still a baby she'd have a lot more time to adjust before her teens and being shipped off for a year. Seems a bit harsh if she was orphaned at say 14 to then have even more disruption in her life.

I can kind of see where he's coming from (or at least, where the initial idea came from). But it doesn't really make sense as soon as you think about the practicalities.

Mojisola

pointless2 wrote: »

We have written wills, and named my (UK based) cousin as the person to have parental responsibility should my husband and I both pass away.

pointless2 wrote: »

Re the will - this isn't to go in the will, it's a letter of wishes to go alongside it. Our solicitor advised us to write one, mainly to guide her guardian / trustees about anything we think important.

It basically just says that we do want her to keep in touch with the NZ family (and that we welcome my cousin spending money from daughter's trust fund to facilitate this, including for cousin's other kids to travel there etc).

If you truly trust your cousin to be your child's 'parent' should you die, then keep to wide guidelines in your letter of wishes.

Don't try to control the future - you have no idea what will be best for her. It would be awful if your cousin felt obliged to push your daughter into going to NZ when she didn't really want to because 'that's what your parents wanted you to do'.

Peter333

It's a terrible idea! Let her decide for herself when she wants to pop off to NZ for a year!

She may not even want to go!

Peter333

pointless2 wrote: »

we have no plans to die!

I don't think it works like this! :rotfl:

silvercar

Worse case scenario, she ends up going to NZ for a year and there are no relatives alive over there!