At OUR financial limit... now she's leaving me

suki1964

When we were younger and had the kids for holidays etc in a two bedroom house, they slept in the same room until our son said he no longer wanted to. Then me and daughter slept in one room, dad and son in the other. It was after all only for a few nights at a time

Then we got a sofa bed for the sitting room and our son had that if they were both here at the same time.

Before that, when we were in a one bedroom, both kids and dad in the double bed, me on the sofa

Whilst it would be lovely to carry on with the lifestyle you have right now,you can't afford it and changes need to be made. You need to downsize where you live

Do look at doing a SOA so you can see where your money is going, then post it up in debt free and people there will help you see where savings can be made. Also get over to oldstyle to see how to make your living budget stretch

I don't know what you do for a living but is there any scope for overtime, more hours, or even finding another pt job for the evenings?

Stressful times for you right now but there wIll be light at the end of the tunnel

hazyjo

Could take a second job just to try to get rid of the debt. As above, sofabed for you/one of the kids and one bedroom is fine. As they're teenagers, it's probably only for a short while that they'll both be staying over on the same weekend anyway.




You could probably cut your rent pretty much in half.


Good luck.


Jx

Guest101

ptwell wrote: »

Hi all.

Sorry to bore you all with this, especially as I don't usually post on here and only browse.

I've been with the same woman for 5 years now and almost a year ago we moved into a rented house which was pretty much at the top of our combined budget but, it's an ideal location for work and has three bedrooms, which I need as I have two teenage children who stay with me every weekend.

She's suddenly dropped it on me that she wants to leave me and has already contacted the letting agents to give her one month notice. - There is no her and your, its a joint tenancy, if she gives notice, you both have to leave, or you agree a new contract. If you fail to leave you must pay double rent.
Her next payment is due in about a week and she's offered to pay next month's too.

Emotionally, this is pretty draining as I'm sure you can imagine and I'm feeling pretty low but I somehow have to sort out the financial mess.
I know I should have been more careful but living together we were fine financially so, for example I have my car on 5 year finance that only started in Feb 2015, I have an iPhone 6S on contract with EE that only started in Sept 2015, a BT Infinity2 contract that started in July 2015 (in my name), I've got almost £3k on a credit card and, after our TV blew up right after Christmas, we 'bought' a TV on my Very account at 0%, a period which will end early next year.

So I can't really give you too many specifics, I need to sit down and work them out myself but I hope that gives you some idea of the mess that I'm left in.

Really, apart from wanting to come on here and vent a little, it would be good to hear any general advice you can give me.
I simply can't afford to pay all of these things on my own but I really don't want to go back to the dark days where I had a poor credit record. It's been good for a while now and calling around saying that I can't pay this or that will surely damage it again.

Sorry, I'm waffling now.
Any advice is most welcome.

Make sure you agree a new contract with the LL.


Get a lodger in to cover the lost rent. (no a LL or LA cannot prevent you getting a lodger, yes even if it says so in your contract; yes i'm certain)

rpc

Guest101 wrote: »

Get a lodger in to cover the lost rent. (no a LL or LA cannot prevent you getting a lodger, yes even if it says so in your contract; yes i'm certain)

But the LL can evict at the earliest opportunity if they don't like it.

The LA is likely to insist on residents being on the tenancy and being credit checked. Being on the tenancy is an awkward one that landlords like too, the credit check is just an excuse to charge fees.

Out,_Vile_Jelly

If the property was at the top of your combined budget, it is going to be unaffordable for you on your own. I'm sure your kids would rather share or sleep on the sofa than see you spiral into debt.

burlington6

Also, don't be mad at her OP. People's feelings change. You weren't married and have no children together so it will be pretty painless in that regard ( obviously not in others )

Believe it or not, you'll find someone else who could be far better. It's a big world.

On the financial side of things. Your children would rather be in a smaller home that they weren't going to be evicted from than a large home you can't afford.

Guest101

rpc wrote: »

But the LL can evict at the earliest opportunity if they don't like it. - If they are that they minded, and they find out...

The LA is likely to insist on residents being on the tenancy and being credit checked. - They can insist the tenant wears a pink tutu every 3rd Wednesday, doesn't make that any more enforceable than what you say. Being on the tenancy is an awkward one that landlords like too, the credit check is just an excuse to charge fees.

Anyone is entitled to get a lodger in. Yes some LLs might not like it, others couldn't give a stuff.


Often the contract doesn't even prevent it. - It's not assigning or subletting! before anyone starts that nonsense.

DKLS

I use spare room.com to find Mon-Fri lets when I am working away from home, paying from £360 a month to £900. I stayed at one guys house in london who had just split up from his wife, and he loved the arrangement as he had the house to himself and his kids at weekends, yet could keep paying his bills.

onlyroz

There are a number of options:


- Get in a lodger and have your son share your room when he comes to stay
- Get a weekday lodger
- Move to a two-bed place and have one of the kids sleep on a sofa-bed when they stay
- Move to a two-bed place and give the kids the larger room to share (I don't personally see the problem with having teenagers of different sexes share a room for a few days a week)

Loz01

Couldn't you share a room with your son and let your daughter have her own room instead of having to fork out for a 3 bed place? Especially if its only 2 nights a week.