Vow Renewal/Blessing

Marvel1

Nicki wrote: »

If I were invited as a guest then I think as it is a celebration, then I'd feel the need to bring something. Most people would probably feel the same even if the couple weren't overtly expecting them or even had explicitly said they didn't want any.

That's what I was thinking, then the other side is me thinking, I already give for their wedding.

Money_saving_maniac

cjdavies wrote: »

That's what I was thinking, then the other side is me thinking, I already give for their wedding.

So i shouldn't give for Xmas because I gave for a birthday?

:rotfl:

If I was invited to a party for a celebration, to me a gift would be good manners to mark the day. Nobody said it had to be a toaster or a £100 gift voucher for John Lewis's

JIL

Are the wedding photos important to you because you are now in that line of work perhaps?
I have been married 30 years, I didn't like my wedding photos when I got married and it didn't change. They don't really mean anything. What really matters is that we are still together, relatively healthy and happy.
Celebrate your five years by making memories as a family.
Why do the children want you to get married again? Is it for a big party?
I was chatting to my oh as his brother is renewing his vows after 20 years. I asked him if it's something we should do, he said as he had never broken his originals, why would they need renewing? I agree, it's not for us but good luck to those that choose to do so.

cadon

Whatever I do or don't think personally, this sounds like something that's important to you, your OH and your kids and you don't intend to involve anyone else... so why does anyone else's opinion matter?

As it makes sense to you and your family, I say do it. Telling the rest of the world what you're up to is optional.

Mojisola

Is having a 'blessing' in church essential to you?

A Humanist celebrant will help you put together a very individual 'renewal of vows'/'fifth wedding anniversary' ceremony if that would suit.

I don't know these people but it gives an idea of what you can do -
http://www.inspirationalceremonies.co.uk/vow-renewal-ceremonies/

I went to a Naming Ceremony last year and it was a lovely event.

Alikay

If your reason for having a renewal of vows is that the actual wedding fell short of the perfect day you'd hoped for, there's still a chance that it wouldn't be perfect next time round either. My day wasn't perfect either (best friends told us they were separating, another friend had her baby prematurely that morning and it was touch and go if they both pulled through, DH said and did something crass and v unromantic, and my hat looked ridiculous in the photo's!).

Virtually everyone reports some kind of disappointment or hitch on the wedding day - I'd just have a lovely anniversary celebration and try and get some fabulous photo's of the four of you.

lika_86

Just don't do what a girl I knew at school did (she's still on my Facebook) and have a whole wedding again - complete with hen do and bridesmaids! She got married around 19 years old and so by the time most other people I knew were getting married (ie. late 20s), she'd been married ten years and was clearly feeling like she'd missed out, so did it all over again with the same man. Ridiculous. No way would I attend a friend's vow renewal simply to satisfy their need to be a princess for the day again.

Personally (if I felt the need) I'd go and do a quick blessing of a new ring with your children and parents (if still around) then for a lovely meal. Get a photographer to capture some shots of you all dressed up.

suki1964

When we got married ( 13 years ago this week) we done it on a shoe string and didn't have a photographer, relying on friends to take snaps and send us copies ( we didn't want wedding gifts so asked for this)

Ok so I love my photos because they captured the day, but in everyone eyes were shut, mouths open blah blah

So I did think about us all dressing up and getting professional one taken after the event, and we still haven't

Our wedding day is in our hearts and we look at out carp pictures and don't see them like that, we see a totally relaxed day full of laughter

We haven't had the most perfect marriage, but omg, we had the most perfect day. The photos show that

catkins

oystercatcher wrote: »

I may well be in the minority but in my mind when people renew their vows I assume it's because there has been a huge problem like unfaithfulness and they are wanting to start again. Otherwise it seems like a huge waste of money . Just my thoughts though.

I would never think that and feel it is pretty nasty to. Me and my OH have been married 36 years and have thought about renewing our vows. We may well do it when we get to 40 years.

There has not been a "huge problem" in our marriage and never of us has ever been unfaithful, we just both think it is a nice thing to do.

Why would it have to cost much? We wouldn't be having the whole wedding again (although you can have a wedding that doesn't cost much if you want to)

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

On one of the vow renewal threads that was on here, someone wrote "Why? Did they not take the first time around?" I thought this was a very true statement, and I'm another one doesn't see the point in renewing vows, I've said them once, why do I need to say them again?

You don't "need" to say them again but some people like to renew their vows. For me and OH it would be because we are fortunate to still be very much in love when so many others are unhappy or divorced. Also I nearly lost OH last year and I think it would be nice because of that.

For all those saying that there is no point and vows were taken the first time, what about people that divorce? They have promised "till death do us part" haven't they? What if they re-marry? Is that not pointless in that they already made those vows to someone else yet didn't keep them?

Georgiegirl256

catkins wrote: »

You don't "need" to say them again but some people like to renew their vows. For me and OH it would be because we are fortunate to still be very much in love when so many others are unhappy or divorced. Also I nearly lost OH last year and I think it would be nice because of that.

For all those saying that there is no point and vows were taken the first time, what about people that divorce? They have promised "till death do us part" haven't they? What if they re-marry? Is that not pointless in that they already made those vows to someone else yet didn't keep them?

Totally different, in that you are saying them again to a new person. Yes, you've broken the 'till death do is part' bit, but it's totally different saying them a fresh to a new person. My point is that I've said them once to my DH, I don't need to say them again as I don't see the point. I meant them first time around and don't need to reinforce them again.

It's just overly sentimental mush IMO. If other people want to do it, then that's great, that's their choice, and I can see why people would want to do it, but it's just not for me.

Also, I think it's bad form to have a whole new "wedding", and then expect gifts, hen nights etc, things where people have to fork out again.