Vow Renewal/Blessing

MrsL11

Hello All,

A little bit of background - Mr L and I were married 5 years ago this October. We had a lovely day, surrounded by the people we love but there are a few things that we are not so happy with. One being our wedding photographs (we were let down photographer emigrated) they are orange and grainy and I refuse to look at them never mind display them anywhere. Our two children were present at our wedding and despite this there is not one single photo of the 4 of us which is a little sad.

It's fair to say we scrimped on a few things too - my ring being one. It could really do with replacing and while Hubby has said he wants to buy me a new one I don't want to take off my original as I feel its not a wedding ring.

Long story short, I was thinking of having a small intimate vow renewal/blessing this October to celebrate 5 years and have my new ring blessed - as well as get some nice wedding style photographs including our children. We're not keen on being in the spotlight so a big re-do is a little daunting - is it possible to do this with just the 4 of us?

I get excited planning it in my head then talk myself out of it.
Thanks in advance. Mrs L xx

Nicki

My personal opinion is that unless you divorce or lose your spouse that you only get married once. For that reason I'd say that photos taken at a later date wouldn't be wedding photos and wouldn't have the same sentimental attachment, and even more so with a ring.

If you want nice portrait style pictures of the family why not book these, perhaps on a significant family date, maybe even your wedding anniversary if you want it to be tied to your marriage.

We got married 25 years ago when we were both very young and my wedding and engagement rings were very cheap but they mean a great deal to me and I wouldn't want to replace either. I have occasionally thought an eternity ring would be nice but I wouldn't want to remove my engagement ring or to wear 3 rings on the same finger.

If you'd want to renew your vows for reasons other than to take new photos and get a more expensive ring, then of course you could confine this to only the 4 of you provided the officiant agrees. Blessings don't have to take place in public unlike weddings but if you want to do this in church and aren't regular attendees you may be asked to do it as part of the church service or immediately afterwards.

TBagpuss

Of course. It's entirely up to you what you want.
If you want a blesssing or vow renewal in church you would need to speak to the vicar and ask about any costs etc.

Or you could arrange a private ceremony or your own, using your own vows.

You could have the photos done on the same day, or you could arrange a separate photoshoot, and have a party separate from the photos.

duchy

I don't think Nicki understands that it's a celebration of your marriage not another wedding.

I'd say if it is important to you then go for it but if it's about pictures get a professional to look at them and sort them out. There's a lot can be done to make bad photos much better.

Nicki wrote: »

My personal opinion is that unless you divorce or lose your spouse that you only get married once. For that reason I'd say that photos taken at a later date wouldn't be wedding photos and wouldn't have the same sentimental attachment, and even more so with a ring.

If you want nice portrait style pictures of the family why not book these, perhaps on a significant family date, maybe even your wedding anniversary if you want it to be tied to your marriage.

We got married 25 years ago when we were both very young and my wedding and engagement rings were very cheap but they mean a great deal to me and I wouldn't want to replace either. I have occasionally thought an eternity ring would be nice but I wouldn't want to remove my engagement ring or to wear 3 rings on the same finger.

If you'd want to renew your vows for reasons other than to take new photos and get a more expensive ring, then of course you could confine this to only the 4 of you provided the officiant agrees. Blessings don't have to take place in public unlike weddings but if you want to do this in church and aren't regular attendees you may be asked to do it as part of the church service or immediately afterwards.

AnnieO1234

We are planning on a renewal in the future. Sadly my husband took ill with cancer two weeks after our marriage, he doesn't remember the day.

Our plan is to wait for the kids to be a little older and have a ceremony in NY. We couldn't have done it for our wedding as family wouldn't have been able to travel, but it would have been our first choice in many ways. So in a bittersweet way we will have what we would've wanted.

I personally think they're a brilliant idea, in a world filled with breakups and divorces it's like a little refresher of your commitment to each other xxx

PuzzledDave

You should of course do what makes you happy !

I've personally not understood them, I promised 'until death do us part' - that kind of promise (to me at least) does not need refreshing/renewing. However, it's your money/time/desire -- why would you need anyones permission ?

MrsL11

Thank-you all. It's definitely not another wedding - just a blessing.
I am a professional wedding photographer and the photographs were taken by a 'professional' there is no helping them. Our original photographer emigrated and we were left with a week to go to source another. We settled for an older chap who had a great portfolio so no idea what happened to our photos. I wasn't a professional at that time and didn't have the contacts that I do now.

The kids who were 2 and 3 at the time are always asking us to get married again so they can remember it and I just thought that the 4 of us would be nice. No big white dress, no fuss.

oystercatcher

I may well be in the minority but in my mind when people renew their vows I assume it's because there has been a huge problem like unfaithfulness and they are wanting to start again. Otherwise it seems like a huge waste of money . Just my thoughts though.

theoretica

You could get a jeweller to take the metal of your ring and incorporate it into a new one, assuming the original wasn't plated, which might be just a bit too hard.

Have you thought about not just making it about the two of you, but a family blessing and committment?

MrsL11

Exactly why I keep talking myself out of it - I don't want people to assume something has happened and that's why we want to do it.

Brighton_belle

MrsL11 wrote: »

Exactly why I keep talking myself out of it - I don't want people to assume something has happened and that's why we want to do it.

Well I don't think that. My bro & sis-in -law had one after 20+ years and it definitely was not for that reason - they wanted to celebrate their marriage through thick and thin: and he hadn't had a ring when they first got married (less common for men then) and he used it as an opportunity to get one.


The fact your children want you to do it is all you need to say though isn't, to quieten any other nonsense people speculate?