"My wedding present to my wife was a lovely new kitchen"

spadoosh

Castration for the assumption of sexism.


My fiancee would love a kitchen as a wedding gift. Mainly because its far down the list of jobs to do but one she can see and enjoy the most.

Do you not think that the guy would know what his OH might want or would like?

Or is it because its a bloke buying a women a present that everyone thinks he didnt think about it and thought the easiest/best option was to buy a kitchen? Man sexism that!

Incidentally my fiancee likes to buy me power tools for my birthdays and christmas. She seems to think that becuase i use them there is a desire for them too, so when i say i need a new sander or need a chop saw she actually hears, i would like, when the reality is its needed (or extremely helpful) to do a job that i dont want to do that shes is wanting me to do.

fairy_lights

spadoosh wrote: »

My fiancee would love a kitchen as a wedding gift. Mainly because its far down the list of jobs to do but one she can see and enjoy the most.

Do you not think that the guy would know what his OH might want or would like?

He will presumably use the kitchen just as much as she does, so it's not really a gift for her is it? It's just a purchase for the house.

HappyMJ

spadoosh wrote: »

Castration for the assumption of sexism.


My fiancee would love a kitchen as a wedding gift. Mainly because its far down the list of jobs to do but one she can see and enjoy the most.

Do you not think that the guy would know what his OH might want or would like?

Or is it because its a bloke buying a women a present that everyone thinks he didnt think about it and thought the easiest/best option was to buy a kitchen? Man sexism that!

Incidentally my fiancee likes to buy me power tools for my birthdays and christmas. She seems to think that becuase i use them there is a desire for them too, so when i say i need a new sander or need a chop saw she actually hears, i would like, when the reality is its needed (or extremely helpful) to do a job that i dont want to do that shes is wanting me to do.

You can take your tools with you and as they were gifts given directly to you you can exclude the value of them in any divorce settlement.

Normally everything jointly owned in the house would be added up and then divided by two then deducted from the settlement of the person keeping the item but your tools as they are owned by you will be yours to do with as you please. You don't have to value them and split them with a soon to be ex-wife.

spadoosh

HappyMJ wrote: »

Buying a kitchen is going to add value to the property. If the relationship goes downhill the person giving the gift is going to benefit by the sale of the house including the kitchen....so in my opinion it's not a gift at all.

A gift is something you can take with you and is not included in any divorce proceedings. You can't take a kitchen.

So is a fella buying there mrs a car a gift or not? Hes giving a car but then he benefits by not having to give her lifts.

But then a gift isnt a selfless act. You give gifts to feel good about yourself (to make the other person happy which makes you happy, however you want to put it). So what is a gift? And you cant take really take a cake mixer with you to the grave, the egyptians tried it and just ended up taking too much room and people digging up dead people to steal stuff.

Its quite impressive that you think about getting divorced during the process of buying a partner a gift.

You ever considered she enjoys cooking and would like a fancier kithcen than her fella who would be happy with the existing kitchen?

Oh its MSE isnt it, you should think about divoce when buying your wife a wedding gift, you should think about the house value when buying a wedding gift, you should think about where shes going to take her kitchen.

Can you imagine it wouldve been really funny if on the day he rocked up with 3 pallets of flat packed kitchen. Happy wedding day love! Bought you this and didnt fit it incase you decide to take it with you!

Different worlds.

POPPYOSCAR

spadoosh wrote: »

Castration for the assumption of sexism.


My fiancee would love a kitchen as a wedding gift. Mainly because its far down the list of jobs to do but one she can see and enjoy the most.

Do you not think that the guy would know what his OH might want or would like?

Or is it because its a bloke buying a women a present that everyone thinks he didnt think about it and thought the easiest/best option was to buy a kitchen? Man sexism that!

Incidentally my fiancee likes to buy me power tools for my birthdays and christmas. She seems to think that becuase i use them there is a desire for them too, so when i say i need a new sander or need a chop saw she actually hears, i would like, when the reality is its needed (or extremely helpful) to do a job that i dont want to do that shes is wanting me to do.

I also do not see the problem with a kitchen as a gift.


I often buy my OH tools etc as that is what he has asked for and we both get the benefit from them as he uses them for jobs around the house.


I expect judging from some of the posts here some would find it strange that I asked my OH for some non slip hangers for Christmas and was delighted that he got them for me.


I also understand the frustration of it not being ready for the wedding when they wanted everything to be nice for when their guests stayed with them.

lizzy85

Wow! Of course i would be thrilled. I love being in the kitchen cooking and baking. I would be very grateful if that is my husband,

HappyMJ

spadoosh wrote: »

So is a fella buying there mrs a car a gift or not? Hes giving a car but then he benefits by not having to give her lifts.

But then a gift isnt a selfless act. You give gifts to feel good about yourself (to make the other person happy which makes you happy, however you want to put it). So what is a gift? And you cant take really take a cake mixer with you to the grave, the egyptians tried it and just ended up taking too much room and people digging up dead people to steal stuff.

Its quite impressive that you think about getting divorced during the process of buying a partner a gift.

You ever considered she enjoys cooking and would like a fancier kithcen than her fella who would be happy with the existing kitchen?

Oh its MSE isnt it, you should think about divoce when buying your wife a wedding gift, you should think about the house value when buying a wedding gift, you should think about where shes going to take her kitchen.

Can you imagine it wouldve been really funny if on the day he rocked up with 3 pallets of flat packed kitchen. Happy wedding day love! Bought you this and didnt fit it incase you decide to take it with you!

Different worlds.

If he's using money he earned before they married and purchased her a car then that is a gift that she can keep and she would still be entitled to half of everything else on divorce. He doesn't get the car back nor would it be valued as part of their joint worth.

I'm just saying I don't think purchases for the house count as gifts to the other person when the person giving it is still the beneficial owner of the gift. I could buy lots of things for my partner and call them as gifts. New carpet for her craft room, new wallpaper for our bedroom or maybe new curtains. She'd like them but they aren't gifts. They're just home improvements.

POPPYOSCAR

spadoosh wrote: »

So is a fella buying there mrs a car a gift or not? Hes giving a car but then he benefits by not having to give her lifts.

But then a gift isnt a selfless act. You give gifts to feel good about yourself (to make the other person happy which makes you happy, however you want to put it). So what is a gift? And you cant take really take a cake mixer with you to the grave, the egyptians tried it and just ended up taking too much room and people digging up dead people to steal stuff.

Its quite impressive that you think about getting divorced during the process of buying a partner a gift.

You ever considered she enjoys cooking and would like a fancier kithcen than her fella who would be happy with the existing kitchen?

Oh its MSE isnt it, you should think about divoce when buying your wife a wedding gift, you should think about the house value when buying a wedding gift, you should think about where shes going to take her kitchen.

Can you imagine it wouldve been really funny if on the day he rocked up with 3 pallets of flat packed kitchen. Happy wedding day love! Bought you this and didnt fit it incase you decide to take it with you!

Different worlds.

Brilliant!!!

Andypandyboy

Home improvements are joint issues they are not gifts. Nor do they last forever, in 15 years time that gift will be no more, whereas a piece of jewellry (not costing anywhere near the price of a kitchen) will always be a reminder of the day. Then do the kitchen with the remainder.

spadoosh

fairy_lights wrote: »

He will presumably use the kitchen just as much as she does, so it's not really a gift for her is it? It's just a purchase for the house.

HappyMJ wrote: »

You can take your tools with you and as they were gifts given directly to you you can exclude the value of them in any divorce settlement.

Normally everything jointly owned in the house would be added up and then divided by two then deducted from the settlement of the person keeping the item but your tools as they are owned by you will be yours to do with as you please. You don't have to value them and split them with a soon to be ex-wife.

Me and my fiancee would buy different kitchens. She would buy smeg stuff and etc where as i resent spending any money and would buy something to do the job.

As an example she spent money buying me a certain wallpaper i liked to go in my xbox room (3rd bedroom, soon to be nursery) cant take that room with me nor the wallpaper. I still appreciated the gift and the fact that she didnt think about splitting up as she was getting it.