Very Upset and Advice Needed Please

marisco_2

G3. wrote: »

And you'd know exactly where that fine line is. Being an expert in child psychology and being familiar with the family dynamics of the people involved.

I didn't make the above claim at all. You are coming across as being very aggressive throughout this thread for no valid reason.

barbiedoll

When you're a parent to two (or more) noisy, excitable children, your perception of what is "noisy" is vastly different to that of someone who may live alone.

I'm quite loud when I'm cross, my husband has a loud deep voice and even though we only have one child, I used to feel quite embarassed in front of my neighbour, we would make a real racket, while she lives alone, with no kids or pets to disturb her peaceful household.

Roll on a few years and her daughters have been busy popping out 5 kids between them. We're now the ones who have our peaceful weekends disturbed with kids hollering in the garden and one or the other of the babies crying into the night. Which is not a problem, they're a lovely family and the kids are (mostly!) delightful.

Some dwellings carry noise more easily than others. What is a perfectly normal Saturday evening in OP's house, kids full of energy in the longer evenings, Mum and Dad at the end of their tether, trying to get the kids settled for bed, may sound like armageddon to someone who is used to a more genteel existence. It may not have been a malicious call at all, just someone who has seen the dreadful news reports and wants to "do their bit" as a responsible citizen.

Of course, the malicious call theory may well be correct. Social Services generally know problem families when they see them (although not always) and they also know when no further action is necessary. OP, you don't sound as though you have anything to worry about, raising your voice to your children is not a crime, despite what you may read on here. (I think lots of us would be in trouble if it were!) Try not to fret too much, I know it's easier said than done but SS do not want to demonise decent parents. They have quite enough work with genuine cases, they really don't want to see you if they don't have to.

Top_Girl

I holler like a banshee at Top Boy fairly regularly. In fact, my shouting his full name across the playground is the stuff of class legend, his friends often take the mickey out of it and I shout their full names too (they are all 10/11 but this has gone on since they were about 5 or 6)

I have also sworn at him before (not in a you little effing c way, but more a bog(ger) off with that attitude before you lose your phone/xbox/tv privileges manner)

People always comment on how close we are and what a lovely relationship we have. He's top or thereabouts in his class for everything and plays for the school football team and frankly is one of the most chilled out and contented children you could wish to meet.

His dad once called me a bad mum in an argument over contact and I invited him to phone social services if that was what he really thought. They are more than welcome to investigate Top Boy, myself, our household or anything else they want, because simply I am not remotely concerned about my son or my parenting skills.

(I also asked his dad what kind of father he thought he was leaving him in my custody if I'm such a bad mum, but that was just me being a clever clogs )

Loz01

I think as well people learn to live with their noise levels and see them as normal - our neighbours have 4 kids aged 5-11 and they are LOUD to me. The kids scream, screech, shout "NOOOOO!!!!!!!!! THATS MIIIINEEEEEEE!!!!" at each other all the time, fight on the trampoline, kick and hit each other (out in their tiny garden from 8:30 am on Saturdays and Sundays til 7pm in the evening)

I guess someone else with 4 kids would just say oh thats normal chaotic life. But to someone like me, without kids.... jesus.