Separating- can husband walk in house whenever he likes?

Person_one

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

Why should he not have as free access to his house as the OP has to hers? While his name is on those deeds it's as much his as hers.

Because its a complete power trip, designed to intimidate the OP and stop her from being able to relax in her home and to stop her being able to mentally move on from the relationship when he could literally appear at any moment and impose his presence.

He might have the 'right' to do it, but its a crappy thing to do to someone and most decent men would respect the fact that even though they still own the house it isn't their home anymore and they would knock, or arrange to visit at convenient times if needed.

Person_one

elsien wrote: »

Now that's one of the things I really dislike about this forum - the mentioning of abuse and threats of injunctions every time a bloke does something the woman disagrees with.

I would actually say that holding the threat over someone's head that you plan to come into their home uninvited whenever you want and regardless of their feelings on the matter, is a bit psychologically abusive. It will put the OP in a constant state of low level stress and affect how she is able to live in her own home.

I suppose he might just be angry at the moment and won't actually follow through on it, you have to hope he'll behave reasonably with a bit of time/distance from the split.

Guest101

Person_one wrote: »

I would actually say that holding the threat over someone's head that you plan to come into their home uninvited whenever you want and regardless of their feelings on the matter, is a bit psychologically abusive. It will put the OP in a constant state of low level stress and affect how she is able to live in her own home.

I suppose he might just be angry at the moment and won't actually follow through on it, you have to hope he'll behave reasonably with a bit of time/distance from the split.

The OP can ofcourse:


1: Move out
2: sell the property

bluelass

Im sorry to say but unless he has been violent towards you then yes he can.
I am separated now and will be divorcing and we are still living in the same house together but separate rooms.
Don't forget it is his property too.

seven-day-weekend

Person_one wrote: »

Because its a complete power trip, designed to intimidate the OP and stop her from being able to relax in her home and to stop her being able to mentally move on from the relationship when he could literally appear at any moment and impose his presence.

He might have the 'right' to do it, but its a crappy thing to do to someone and most decent men would respect the fact that even though they still own the house it isn't their home anymore and they would knock, or arrange to visit at convenient times if needed.

How is it a power trip when she has the better deal? She has sole occupation of their house and you are saying he shouldn't have access to it? Well yes, it would suit many on here to just have the man walk away and leave them with the marital asset.

(I'm not saying this attitude is that of the OP).

Person_one

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

How is it a power trip when she has the better deal? She has sole occupation of their house and you are saying he shouldn't have access to it? Well yes, it would suit many on here to just have the man walk away and leave them with the marital asset.

(I'm not saying this attitude is that of the OP).

If he's agreed to move out he should move out, fully. Presumably she's staying there because its the childrens' home and she's their main carer, that's the usual reason. She's also going to be paying all the mortgage on her own remember.

Its a power trip for the reasons I stated in my post where I said it was a power trip. If he needs access for a real reason, there's nothing to stop him arranging that with her in a civilised way. Holding over her head the threat that he may just stroll in unannounced at any time of day or night is unfair and vindictive.

Is still his asset, but it won't be his home, and he should respect that.

Guest101

Person_one wrote: »

If he's agreed to move out he should move out, fully. Presumably she's staying there because its the childrens' home and she's their main carer, that's the usual reason. She's also going to be paying all the mortgage on her own remember.

Its a power trip for the reasons I stated in my post where I said it was a power trip. If he needs access for a real reason, there's nothing to stop him arranging that with her in a civilised way. Holding over her head the threat that he may just stroll in unannounced at any time of day or night is unfair and vindictive.

Is still his asset, but it won't be his home, and he should respect that.

and as I said, she doesn't NEED to stay there....

missbiggles1

The poor sod hasn't even moved out yet!

Person_one

missbiggles1 wrote: »

The poor sod hasn't even moved out yet!

He's already threatening the OP though that when he does he plans to come back as and when he wants! I can't believe for a second that you'd really be ok with that in her shoes?

Maybe, hopefully, when he actually moves out and things are calmer he'll realise what a d*ck move it would be and won't actually do it.

Guest101

Person_one wrote: »

He's already threatening the OP though that when he does he plans to come back as and when he wants! I can't believe for a second that you'd really be ok with that in her shoes?

Maybe, hopefully, when he actually moves out and things are calmer he'll realise what a d*ck move it would be and won't actually do it.

There's literally nothing stopping the OP moving out and renting her own, secure place, if it's that important.


There's a certain amount of 'helping yourself' in bad situations, this is one of those.