Separating- can husband walk in house whenever he likes?

Marvel1

justme111 wrote: »

Entering someone's home unannounced when whoever resides there disagrees with your entrance without previously trying to coordinate visit sounds like abuse to me. If she stands in the door and refuses to move for him to get it what can he do? Push her away? There you got it , violence. If she tell him she is not going to allow unannounced visits and he says he is just going to remove her from the door frame - there you go , threat of violence. He is prohibited from getting anywhere near as a result. So why get to that stage, if what I describe is right than empowering woman with that information may help to happen if he sticks to his threats. So he will likely abandon the idea of barging in as he pleases and a lot of stress and grief for police will be avoided.
What is your source of information , HappyM? How sure you are of them? Don't you think scenario which I described is most likely? If so , why scareing a woman into believing ex can turn up at 3 am or while she is in the shower ?
How come other poster(male) recently complained he can not get entry ever in similar circumstances as ex refuses to communicate ? It is either one way or the other , both situations can not be right.

Summary - sell up and no worries as you will have your own house on the deeds or she could move out instead.

elsien

justme111 wrote: »

Entering someone's home unannounced when whoever resides there disagrees with your entrance without previously trying to coordinate visit sounds like abuse to me. If she stands in the door and refuses to move for him to get it what can he do? Push her away? There you got it , violence. If she tell him she is not going to allow unannounced visits and he says he is just going to remove her from the door frame - there you go , threat of violence. He is prohibited from getting anywhere near as a result. So why get to that stage, if what I describe is right than empowering woman with that information may help to happen if he sticks to his threats. So he will likely abandon the idea of barging in as he pleases and a lot of stress and grief for police will be avoided.
What is your source of information , HappyM? How sure you are of them? Don't you think scenario which I described is most likely? If so , why scareing a woman into believing ex can turn up at 3 am or while she is in the shower ?
How come other poster(male) recently complained he can not get entry ever in similar circumstances as ex refuses to communicate ? It is either one way or the other , both situations can not be right.

Now that's one of the things I really dislike about this forum - the mentioning of abuse and threats of injunctions every time a bloke does something the woman disagrees with.

Andrew_Ryan_89

You hate the thought but is he just showing up at the house whenever he wants? It's his house too and putting chains on the door and stuff is such going to escalate things to a situation. Has he been violent? If not, just ask him nicely to give you a heads up when he is coming over so you don't get spooked and think someone has broken in.

justme111

elsien wrote: »

Now that's one of the things I really dislike about this forum - the mentioning of abuse and threats of injunctions every time a bloke does something the woman disagrees with.

I know what you mean , often it feels like women ganging up on any male character in posts. This case does not seem like that to me though , it is not just whatever woman does not like. If we are to take op at face value he is threatening to come whenever he pleases just for the sake of control and to create upset.
Pigpen , I indeed have not lived through it. I heard a few stories and read this forums enough to hear a few scenarios like one I described - when a man gets barred from getting anywhere close due to potential of breach of piece. I can not tell why in your case it was different , it sounds very stressful, sorry you had to go through it. I do not approve of bullying behaviour , be it female one when men get short straw just because they are men or male one like here described when a woman will feel her home is vulnerable. I do not like it whenever most pushy and disregarding part gets their way just because other party is weaker.Of course it is better to sell , often it results in major financial loss and disruption though and in any case sale takes time.

clearingout

There is a difference between a 'right of access' because you own a property (think landlords, for example) and 'turning up as and when you choose, wandering about, rifling through the ex's paperwork and making yourself a cup of tea' access. It is controlling behaviour to expect to separate as a couple, move out and have your own personal space by default but expect to encroach on the ex's personal space anytime you choose.

OP - take it as it comes. A chain would help in the first instance. A solicitor's letter asking him to give notice of entry may help if he proves a nuisance. And if there is the tiniest hint of violence, force or threats of it, change the locks, keep all messages and record phone calls. Ultimately the courts will support you in having a private space but until you are sure it is private, keep important paperwork with a trusted friend and expect to come home to find stuff missing!

hollydays

Sometimes-often -things are said in anger.
it may be better just not to " bite" and let it be for now.
If this was said in the middle of an argument when feelings were running high it could just be his way of trying to keep some control. It's very early days yet for taking every statement at face value?

micky2phones

pigpen wrote: »

Even with tenants/lodgers the owner still has right of access it is the wording of the legal agreement that is different.. basically saying you will allow 'reasonable access' .. so they can come do inspections etc but not just move in.

Hi, i was just going to say much the same as you

seven-day-weekend

Why should he not have as free access to his house as the OP has to hers? While his name is on those deeds it's as much his as hers.

Guest101

clearingout wrote: »

There is a difference between a 'right of access' because you own a property (think landlords, for example) and 'turning up as and when you choose, wandering about, rifling through the ex's paperwork and making yourself a cup of tea' access. It is controlling behaviour to expect to separate as a couple, move out and have your own personal space by default but expect to encroach on the ex's personal space anytime you choose.

OP - take it as it comes. A chain would help in the first instance. A solicitor's letter asking him to give notice of entry may help if he proves a nuisance. And if there is the tiniest hint of violence, force or threats of it, change the locks, keep all messages and record phone calls. Ultimately the courts will support you in having a private space but until you are sure it is private, keep important paperwork with a trusted friend and expect to come home to find stuff missing!

A LL owns a property, but gives up his rights to access in return for rent, its completely different.

Guest101

pigpen wrote: »

Even with tenants/lodgers the owner still has right of access it is the wording of the legal agreement that is different.. basically saying you will allow 'reasonable access' .. so they can come do inspections etc but not just move in.

And he/she needs to go to court to enforce those rights, because they have given up the right of free access in return for rent.


Apples and oranges.