Pet hate - being asked for a title

Pollycat

toffeentom wrote: »

Well I do. But not in a rude way

So what response do you get?

Do many people/organisations insist on you providing the information or do they say 'OK then, it doesn't matter'?

toffee'n'tom

Pollycat wrote: »

So what response do you get?

Do many people/organisations insist on you providing the information or do they say 'OK then, it doesn't matter'?

Generally they insist because 'computer says no' if they miss out any information. :rotfl:

Person_one

Pollycat wrote: »

Really?

So when I filled in my passport renewal form and it gave me the choice of:
Mr
Mrs
Ms
Miss
Master
Other
it's something that some people get annoyed about?

I really don't give it a second thought.

On some forms, Ms isn't an option though, and as above sometimes if an actual human is taking your details they don't offer it either.

Its lovely that you are happy to be dismissive of this little example of everyday sexism, but little things add up and I do think it matters that women are still expected to define themselves by their marital status in this way when men aren't.

Georgiegirl256

Pollycat wrote: »

Well, you did ask:
You didn't say you only wanted selective replies.

Just curious - in what circumstances are women asked for their title?

I can't recollect the last time anyone asked me.

Usually if you're buying something in a shop such certain electrical items (tv/anything with a tuner in because of tv licensing) or anything over £100. Or actually in quite a few shops now tbh. I've had it quite a lot recently. The other day I was asked at a charity shop when I dropped some items off, for gift aid purposes.

toffeentom wrote: »

Generally they insist because 'computer says no' if they miss out any information. :rotfl:

Exactly.

gettingtheresometime

I very often get calls in work from customers which are not for my dept.

On giving their name I do ask if it's Mrs or Miss only because if I have to speak to them again, for what ever reason, I can address them as Mrs X or Miss Y. For equality purposes I address men as Mr Z.

I find it more polite to address people in these circumstances in this way or is that old fashioned?

pigpen

I called Next a few weeks ago and the guy addressed me as 'Mrs XXX' at the end of every sentence I was infuriated by it and had to ask him to stop using a name at all... I wanted to Darth Vader style force choke him down the phone!!

I'd rather be called a rude name!! lol

Rosemary7391

Person_one wrote: »

On some forms, Ms isn't an option though, and as above sometimes if an actual human is taking your details they don't offer it either.

Its lovely that you are happy to be dismissive of this little example of everyday sexism, but little things add up and I do think it matters that women are still expected to define themselves by their marital status in this way when men aren't.

Perhaps we should just skip Mr/Mrs/Miss/Ms and go to M for everyone (unless they've gained another title through some mechanism)? Then we don't have to worry about gender either and we can get on with life.

Until that happens, I think the question 'How would you like me to address you?' should be used when there is any doubt. Then everyone can choose whatever they prefer.

Person_one

gettingtheresometime wrote: »

I very often get calls in work from customers which are not for my dept.

On giving their name I do ask if it's Mrs or Miss

Why do you care if they're married?

Just ask what title they prefer, it might not be either of those, or you could just use Ms as a default which is neutral and safe.

Mojisola

gettingtheresometime wrote: »

On giving their name I do ask if it's Mrs or Miss only because if I have to speak to them again, for what ever reason, I can address them as Mrs X or Miss Y. For equality purposes I address men as Mr Z.

You're not treating people equally unless you also ask the men whether they are married or not - that's what you're doing when you ask women if it's Mrs or Miss.

Mr - adult male.
Ms - adult female.
Simple.

Peter333

I asked my lady wife and she has no issue with it, although, as she says, as a 50-something woman, everyone says 'is it Mrs?' I think everyone assumes a woman of a certain age is married LOL.

I can imagine a woman who is single/divorced and over 35, getting a bit annoyed by it. It's like everyone assuming you must have children.

My wife hates men calling her mate. She thinks men do this to a woman to let them know they are not interested in them romantically, and she thinks 'what makes him so sure I would fancy him anyway?!'

I do think though OP, that it's natural and acceptable for people to ask if it's Miss or Mrs (or Mizz,) but if you are bothered by it, then that's your right I guess.