Adult sharing inappropriate content

Guest101

Andypandyboy wrote: »

How can it be a false report if it was SS that referred to the police when they had seen the evidence?

You are an apologist. I think your judgement is clouded by something that has gone deep.

The authorities are there for the protection of the children, and it is right that they are involved in cases such as the OP described. The man is unfit to be in a parental role and should be kept away from impressionable minds.

I'm not getting into a debate again, just pointing out that the OP said the HC !!!!!! was shown in person ( ie no physical evidence ).

I'd rather you didn't categorise me, I don't do it to you.

settlerofcatan

No, the !!!!!! was in the Facebook chat. As were the memes.

And then additional memes were shown in person.

settlerofcatan

Running_Horse wrote: »

Haven't read the whole thread.

Has the OP reported her concerns to the parents of the other children involved?

I would be wanting to let them know their children are in danger.

No, I haven't. One of my motivations for reporting it was because there are other children/young people involved, although I don't know them. They live in a different town and go to different schools so I am not sure how I would begin to find their parents. At this point I am hoping that SS make a call on that and take it on themselves if they believe necessary.

k3lvc

settlerofcatan wrote: »

No, the !!!!!! was in the Facebook chat. As were the memes.

And then additional memes were shown in person.

And we return to 'Why do YOU allow him to have Facebook against it's T&C's ?'

AnnieO1234

k3lvc wrote: »

And we return to 'Why do YOU allow him to have Facebook against it's T&C's ?'

Why is that even relevant? It's a distraction to the purpose of the thread and seems designed to undermine OP. If anything it could be argued that allowing her son supervised access at 12 when some of his friends will be on it at 13 in the same school year, is sensible. She. can teach him how to handle things properly instead of it being some illicit thing he does without parent's knowledge.

Xxx

Stevie_Palimo

k3lvc wrote: »

And we return to 'Why do YOU allow him to have Facebook against it's T&C's ?'

Also on this point considering access to computers and internet is rife from a very young age for most kids these days it is hard to police them from different sites unless you keep a constant on them, Filters will help but not every parent will implement these.

settlerofcatan

AnnieO1234 wrote: »

Why is that even relevant? It's a distraction to the purpose of the thread and seems designed to undermine OP. If anything it could be argued that allowing her son supervised access at 12 when some of his friends will be on it at 13 in the same school year, is sensible. She. can teach him how to handle things properly instead of it being some illicit thing he does without parent's knowledge.

Xxx

Thank you. Yes, this is how I think on it. I am technically in the wrong allowing him to have a FB profile at this age, but if I just put an outright ban on it there is every chance he'd have made a profile anyway but kept it hidden from me. Or joined some other social media/messaging site or app.

This way, I knew about it. I had the password. I was able to check it and make sure that he was only friend with people he knows in real life. All those kind of things.

And as I said earlier in the thread, if his dad wants to show him this stuff, he'll show him this stuff. He's been doing it in person (the memes). It's only because he had FB that I was alerted to it.

Guest101

settlerofcatan wrote: »

Thank you. Yes, this is how I think on it. I am technically in the wrong allowing him to have a FB profile at this age, but if I just put an outright ban on it there is every chance he'd have made a profile anyway but kept it hidden from me. Or joined some other social media/messaging site or app.

This way, I knew about it. I had the password. I was able to check it and make sure that he was only friend with people he knows in real life. All those kind of things.

And as I said earlier in the thread, if his dad wants to show him this stuff, he'll show him this stuff. He's been doing it in person (the memes). It's only because he had FB that I was alerted to it.

I am surprised, you keep saying APP - does a 12 year old need a smart phone?


Slightly off topic - but I would be providing a very basic phone at that age

toniq

Maybe it's a sign of the computer game, tech savvy generation but nothing seems to shock them these days.

Your ex should realise much of what you mentioned is taboo and you don't think it let alone find memes/pic of it. As a responsible adult he simply shouldn't be accessing that type of material let alone sharing it with his kids.

I'm surprised if anything p**dophilic was downloaded or viewed that the police didn't do anything, I really thought that was an offence, maybe I'm wrong.

I can see the point of kids look at gross things and know more than we give them credit for BUT this is a trusted adult sharing sick taboo material.

Your kids need to realise it isn't losing face or being uncool leaving a facebook chat because of material that is gross.

If it was my kids involved I'd be having a sit down face to face chat with ex and explain how you feel and ask him how he intends to regain your trust of him when he has the kids again.

What you don't want to happen is the kids not telling you of situations as they will be scared of not seeing their dad again.

Horrid situation, espec for the kids involved as they are caught in the firing line. They obviously know your feelings on this and they obviously care a lot about their dad too.

settlerofcatan

toniq wrote: »

Maybe it's a sign of the computer game, tech savvy generation but nothing seems to shock them these days.

Your ex should realise much of what you mentioned is taboo and you don't think it let alone find memes/pic of it. As a responsible adult he simply shouldn't be accessing that type of material let alone sharing it with his kids.

I'm surprised if anything p**dophilic was downloaded or viewed that the police didn't do anything, I really thought that was an offence, maybe I'm wrong.

I can see the point of kids look at gross things and know more than we give them credit for BUT this is a trusted adult sharing sick taboo material.

Your kids need to realise it isn't losing face or being uncool leaving a facebook chat because of material that is gross.

If it was my kids involved I'd be having a sit down face to face chat with ex and explain how you feel and ask him how he intends to regain your trust of him when he has the kids again.

What you don't want to happen is the kids not telling you of situations as they will be scared of not seeing their dad again.

Horrid situation, espec for the kids involved as they are caught in the firing line. They obviously know your feelings on this and they obviously care a lot about their dad too.

Thank you.

Yes, I totally agree it's horrible for the children. I am so sad for them. And I'm worried, as you say, that they will choose not to tell me things in the future. That said, we have a good relationship and I think that they were relieved to talk about it.

I have explained to them that I have reported this issue. They haven't acted like they hold any resentment. They've been very happy, in fact, but I suspect that there will be ups and downs. I needed them to know, though, that when an adult does something like this it's not normal and we don't brush it under the carpet.

The p**dophilia stuff was memes. Jokes, supposedly.