The financial implications of moving in together

FBaby

Oh I totally agree that shared finances shouldn't even be considered at the start of a relationship, and even when just moving in together, I don't think you should agree to the same commitments, but OP is talking about marriage and implying that even then, she wouldn't want to take the risk to lose her assets.

When I moved in with my OH, I agreed to pay towards the cost of housing (and we called it mortgage because I hated the idea that I was paying towards rental to live with him) and bills and we worked out how much on the basis that we would have the same disposable income left over. This was always on the understanding that we would tie the knot at some point. These discussions and agreements took place before we actually did move in together (which was 18 months after we met).

TBagpuss

Oompa wrote: »

I would like us to be married but, again, with the UK not acknowledging pre-nuptials, what do people do nowadays? Have kids and not get married? Stage a fake wedding? Haha.

English law does take pre-nups into account. They are not strictly legally enforecable but would be taken into consideration in any divorce, particulalry in the early years ( and you can review / update them as a post-bup afterwards, to keep it current, if you want)

You could also have a cohabitation agrement if you wanted to define how you will manage finaces when you move n - this allows you to discuss and record what your arrangements are - for instnace, whether you contributing to the mortgage will lead to you having an interest in the property.

I think that is something you and your partner need to talk about - if the plan is that the property will eventuially be your joint proeprty, the it would be reasonable for you to pay towards the costs including the mortgage, and for you to gain an interest in the property in proportion with your contribution.

If he anticipates that, if the two of you were to split up, that you would have no interest in the house, then it would be more reasonable to look at you making a contribution to cover your share of food, biils and an element for 'room rental', rather than half of the mortgage.

There is no right or wrong answer, but it can be helpful to talk about what would happen if things went pear-shaped, as that can help you to focus on what you each feel is fair.

his_missus

When I first moved in my bf (now Hubby) his mum was worried about me paying towards his mortgage and making claims on the house if we split so he bought a rent book from a local stationers and wrote down in it each month the "rent" I gave him. I don't know whether had we'd split it would have been legally binding or whether I could have claimed an interest in the house, but it kept his mum happy.

Narla

I'm in a bit of a similar situation and have had similar concerns. I have had my own house since I separated in 2013 after a 30 year relationship. It has took a lot of hard work and saving to be in the position I am where I have a mortgage and bills I can manage ok. My partner of 18 months plans to move in with me in September and rent out his property. We have agreed that we will each continue to pay our own mortgages. We will open a joint account and each pay in £100 a week to cover all the other bills and food shopping. Any surplus can go to holidays or whatever. The rental income he gets for his house he has agreed to share with me because it is a profit he is getting and why should he benefit and not me? I'm happy with that. I'm certain that we will be together forever but after being cheated on once by my husband I'm reluctant to trust anyone else entirely. I have more equity in my house than he has in his and am not willing to give up half of what i have worked so hard to achieve. I know that any extra income i get i will want to pay off my mortgage but then i think why am i doing that if eventually we end up with what's mine is his!! I think I'd rather keep what's mine to myself! Maybe I should say no if he asks me to marry him lol!

FBaby

The rental income he gets for his house he has agreed to share with me because it is a profit he is getting and why should he benefit and not me?

I am assuming you mean profit after he has paid his own mortgage, otherwise, I don't see how it would be fair.

I have had my own house since I separated in 2013 after a 30 year relationship.

So did you buy your husband out of it? You say you have more equity in your house, but it sounds like you are in this position as a result of your previous marriage, so not just all down to your hard work, unless you were supporting your husband through out your marriage.

I am quite amazed how some people are happy to financially gain from a joint investment but then want to protect themselves at all cost from others potentially doing the same.

justme111

I can see where you coming from in your comment , Fbaby. There is a difference though in those circumstances (obviously we do not know the poster's particular ones , I am talking about generic ones) - on first marriage more often both parties start with no assets so no one benefits at other's cost (letting aside topic of men being hit during divorce due to rules prioritising children). In second marriages people are coming often with significant difference in assets. Even if on first marriage they start with difference in assets it is likely to go through stages of ups and downs of one's financial worth due to career changes , property purchases , children and other life events which in the end make what one had at the beginning less important . When people are older there are less likely to be changes to their financial circumstances barring care home fees:D .

Narla

FBaby wrote: »

I am assuming you mean profit after he has paid his own mortgage, otherwise, I don't see how it would be fair.

We each have our respective mortgages to pay. Do you consider it to be fair if he is able to pay an extra £500 a month towards his mortgage (income from renting it out) if I have no extra income towards paying mine? He will be paying half of our joint bills while he is living in my house and I will still have my mortgage to pay.

So did you buy your husband out of it? You say you have more equity in your house, but it sounds like you are in this position as a result of your previous marriage, so not just all down to your hard work, unless you were supporting your husband through out your marriage.

No we sold our joint house and split the proceeds which I then put towards my new house. I have since been trying to overpay my new mortgage and am very careful with my money while my new partner earns more than I do and likes to spend more too. We split the costs of everything we spend together so essentially he is always going to have more money than me. But I will have more equity in my house because I save more.

I am quite amazed how some people are happy to financially gain from a joint investment but then want to protect themselves at all cost from others potentially doing the same.

I do not consider that I have financially gained from a joint investment. No-one knows what's around the corner and yes of course I want to protect myself after being treated badly when my marriage ended. I do not ever want to be in a vulnerable position again if anyone tried to financially gain off me.

Guest101

Narla wrote: »

I do not consider that I have financially gained from a joint investment. No-one knows what's around the corner and yes of course I want to protect myself after being treated badly when my marriage ended. I do not ever want to be in a vulnerable position again if anyone tried to financially gain off me.

But you did gain from a joint investment....



We each have our respective mortgages to pay. Do you consider it to be fair if he is able to pay an extra £500 a month towards his mortgage (income from renting it out) - He has to pay tax on the income.... So if he gives you half before tax, he is losing out.... it's simple maths, im sure you'll grasp it

LannieDuck

Guest101 wrote: »

We each have our respective mortgages to pay. Do you consider it to be fair if he is able to pay an extra £500 a month towards his mortgage (income from renting it out) - He has to pay tax on the income.... So if he gives you half before tax, he is losing out.... it's simple maths, im sure you'll grasp it

Why so condescending?

By him moving in with her, he's £500 /mth (or whatever it is after tax) better off. She's £0 better off. So they're going to split the £500 (or whatever it is after tax) between them. Seems fair to me.

Guest101

LannieDuck wrote: »

Why so condescending?

By him moving in with her, he's £500 /mth (or whatever it is after tax) better off. She's £0 better off. So they're going to split the £500 (or whatever it is after tax) between them. Seems fair to me.

Is she £0 better off, I'd say splitting the bills would certainly put her in the black.


The old adage: 2 can live as cheaply as 1 springs to mind


Are other expenses calculated? Landlord insurance? What about a sinking fund? How about void periods? Eviction costs? Maintenance costs? - or do you think being a LL is free money?